Of the 8 Random Things, 1 must be childhood-related, 1 thing must be vehicle-related, 1 thing must be sex-related, 1 thing must be clothing-related. As for the other four, they are "wildcards," otherwise known as "anything I want to write about but that you don't know about me."
Dear Lord, IS there anything I haven't already talked about on here. I guess we'll find out.
Random Thing #1 (Childhood): The first time I ever sang on stage was for an Easter assembly in elementary school.
We had cut huge pieces of poster board into egg shapes, colored them to our liking and then we dressed up like cowboys and cowgirls. Then, we were arranged into two lines on the stage (I can't believe I remember this so vividly) and each of us would crouch behind his or her huge Easter egg and pop up over our egg for our group's portion of the song.
The song - - and I am not making this up - - was "Oh, What a Beautiful Morning!" from OKLAHOMA.
What OKLAHOMA, cowboys or "corn as high as an elephant's eye" has to do with the resurrection of Christ is beyond me.
But I remember waiting behind an Easter egg for the second, not the first. occourence of the line "There's a bright, golden haze on the meadow" to jump up and belt out my line to the backrow.
And from that moment, I was hooked. And look at where it brought me. Oy...
Random Thing #2 (Wildcard): There are certain words I can't stand. Words that annoy me to the point that I try to ban them so I won't ever have to hear them again. Right now in the top three are:
"Like" - I know that I'm guilty of this as well, but if I have to sit on the bus one more time and hear some idiotic 20-something 'tard use "Like" in a sentence 117 times - - "I don't know, like, he really, like, seems to, like, like me, but like, I'm not, like, sure, like, if I, like, like him." - - I'm going to lose my fucking mind.
"Whatever" - When this word is used in an argument - - for instance, me telling my ex that I loved him, but I didn't appreciate him always showing up at my door drunk at 4 a.m. and him replying "Whatever"- - it essentially says, "Everything you believe or feel is utter shit and I both disrespect and disregard you, your feelings and your very existence."
"Change" - Sure, he can pronounce "Nuclear," but Barack Obama uses the word "Change" every five minutes and other than annoying the fuck out of me, it doesn't really SAY ANYTHING. Yeah, they'll be "Change" if you're President Barack, because (Newsflash!), you're black!! That's definitely a "Change" from the white male assholes we've had for years, but hey, if Hillary wins, that will be "Change" too because she's a woman. Now, stop saying "Change" and start telling us more of what you plan TO DO if you become President.
And P.S. Just because you're attractive, your wife is hot and you have two young children doesn't mean you're "The New Kennedy," so get over yourself.
Random Thing #3 (Vehicle): I wrecked my first car driving home from my high school boyfriend's house after he broke up with me while I was singing "My Man" alongside Barbara Streisand with the FUNNY GIRL Soundtrack blaring from my tape player.
The wreck occurred right as Babs and I were taking off in the song. Right at the big, "Oh, my man I love him so. HEEEEEE'LLLLLLL NEVER KNOW!!"
Right at that point, "Bam!" How pathetic was I?
Random Thing #4 (Wildcard): Although I don't really have a "type," I have a thing for redheads.
Maybe it's the clean, white skin. Maybe it's the carpet matching the curtains creating a true "burning bush."
Whatever it is, I find it hot. Very hot.
Extra credit for anyone who can name the redhead in this pic.
Not you, Mike. You're the one who introduced me to him. So to speak.
Random Thing #5 (Sex): I'm not having a lot of sex these days.
Sure, I talk a good game, but it's getting harder and harder to navigate the playing field out there while at the same time attempting to "play safe," keep an eye open for Mr. Right while you're cruising for Mr. This Minute and not get your feelings hurt or bruised because the guy you find attractive thinks you're too old, too young, not hairy, not into his scene, etc., etc.
Remember when fucking was fun and didn't come with all the mental challenges of a chess game?
Random Thing #6 (Wildcard): I'm not a big fan of hip-hop music. I think it's mostly overt self-aggrandizement. Posing and bragging about how much you've got that other people can never and will never have. And this guy - - Jon Lajoie - - has dissected the whole hip-hop culture brilliantly in his kick-ass funny song, "Everyday Normal Guy." Check it out...
Random Thing #7 (Clothing): I own a lot of leather. A vest I bought in Morocco. Chaps and pants that were given to me by friends (the best leather is alway hand-me-down). Various boots and armbands and hoods and what-not. Oh, and two harnesses.
The most expensive harness I have needs to be repaired since some fatty boombalatty tried it on at a party and busted one of the snaps off it. I bought it at IML a few years ago and when I saw it - - its maze of leather and chains like I had never seen before - - I had to have it.
The guy selling it put it on me and then spent the better part of 45 minutes cutting it and adjusting it, borrowing tools from other vendors to get the job done. I said to him that it must be a bitch to go throw this with every guy who buys a harness at IML and he said that it wasn't because they didn't do adjustments. But he was doing one for me. So, I asked him why he was doing a harness adjustment for me and he whispered in my ear...
"Because you want it. Bad."
He was so very right.
Random Thing #8 (Wildcard): I hate the winter. I hate the snow. And if this shit doesn't let up soon, I'm moving from Chicago to Fort Lauderdale faster than you can say "hanging chad."