Thursday, February 28, 2008

Evildoers (and Moviegoers) Beware!

For better or worse, the Justice League of America movie is back on track and in pre-production.

Apparently, it was the writers' strike that caused the plug to be pulled months back and not the fact that this sounds like a really, really bad idea for a film.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for a Justice League movie, but to include Batman and Superman as characters and have them be played not by Christian Bale and Brandon Routh (respectively), but by new, relatively unknown actors seems a little too Catwoman with Halle Berry to me.

I mean, if you piss off the fanboys, exactly who do you expect to pay money to see your film?

That, added to the weight of introducing all of the other major characters on the team - - Wonder Woman, the Flash, Green Lantern, etc. - - and whatever villains are going to fight them and it sounds like a recipe for disaster. Superhero films weighed down by too many characters never really work (i.e. Batman & Robin, Spider-Man 3, etc.)

Maybe if they went this way with the script: A little Flash / Green Lantern sex scene.

Having sex with the Flash - - a man who can vibrate all of his molecules. Yum.

In the film, Flash is going to be played by Adrian Brody and the Green Lantern will be played by the rapper Common.

What do you think? Do y'all want to see Adrian and Common going at it?


I'd much rather see Brandon Routh and Christian Bale flip fucking.

Insert DC tagline / comic book title here...

"The Dynamic Duo."

"The Brave & the Bold."

I said "insert."

Funny.

P.S. Sure, this pic looks less like Kal-El and Bruce Wayne are going at it and more like Superman is being bound by Wonder Woman's magic lasso while Black Adam gives him a tongue bath, but do you really care?

Yeah, neither do I.

7 comments:

Aaron said...

Those illustrations are indescribably hot.

I remember watching Brandon Routh on "One Life to Live" six years ago. It was the first and only time I had sexual fantasies about a guy that much younger than me--ever.

Stephen Rader said...

aaron - Aren't these the best?!? I have a few more of them, but they are... ahem... NSFW. :)

Polt said...

Im a bit worried too...however, DC's done well recently with the new batman and new superman movies, so maybe they'll do this one right as well and not so much like Catwoman....

HUGS...

dirkmancuso said...

Common as Green Lantern? Adam Brody as Flash? I suggest they just send this one straight to home video.

And you're right -- it's too big an undertaking to introduce all these characters plus villain(s). I know I'm in the minority, but I think the X-Men movies are a perfect example of how superhero teams don't translate well to the big screen.

cb said...

i wish someone would do a flash/green lantern sex scene. Or at the very least make them kiss like that.

ryan said...

i have to disagree...politely....i think the x-men movies were right on...of course i also liked the Clooney bat man...i think as long as they don't travel so very far away from the comic book versions (notice the "s") of each of the characters (like they did with catwoman) i think it has great potential....of course i just want Wonder Woman to hit the big screen. love the blog!!

Stephen Rader said...

polt - Your mouth to God's ears.

dirk - Well, the X-Men movies did better than some of the others. DAREDEVIL, for instance. Ben Affleck looked about as menacing as a Revlon commercial.

cb - I'll get right on it. Literally.

ryan - Thanks! I also liked the X-Men movies, but BATMAN & ROBIN strayed from one of the characters we knew very well - - Batgirl. Suddenly, Barbara is Alfred's niece? Come on!!! However, I also want Wonder Woman on the big screen. I only wish it was Lynda Carter. To me, she IS Wonder Woman.