Sunday, May 24, 2009

"Where's Andre?"

I'm not quite sure what's going on at Marvel Comics these days.

First, they announced Marvel Divas, which, as io9 wrote...

"...rips off 'Sex And The City' and indie comic 'Ultra' by pairing up four superheroines so that they can talk about boys and shoes..."

...and this past week, I've been reading about another new Marvel book, Models, Inc. (not to be confused with the short-lived Fox tv series of the same name), that combines Mary Jane Watson, Patsy "Hellcat" Walker and Millicent "Millie the Model" Collins in one book.

I was unsure if they were trying to TRYING to be offensive to women, or if they were attempting to grab the gay male comic fan (who likes both well-drawn packages AND models talking about boys and shoes) until I saw this...

Tim Gunn will be featured in the first issue of Models Inc.

Not only will he be featured in the issue, he will also jump into one of Iron Man's suits to fight off the bad guys and save the day.

Correction: Tim Gunn will jump into one of Iron Man's suits to fight off the bad guys AT A FASHION SHOW and save the day.

So, this is obviously for gay men. And when you think about it, who has a better superhero name than Tim Gunn? Tim Gunn makes Sgt. Rock sound like a pussy.

I would actually start buying Marvel Comics if Tim Gunn's Iron Man led The Avengers.

I can just hear Tim changing the age-old battle cry of "Avengers Assemble!" to his fabulous catchphrase, "Make It Work!"

I wish The Wasp was still around. Tim Gunn chatting with The Wasp? Fugheh-dah-bowd-eht.

P.S. Not to be outdone at putting female comic book characters into one series and making them look like sluts on parade, DC will be offering Gotham City Sirens, featuring Catwoman, Poison Ivy and Harly Quinn. I wish I was making that up.

I won't be buying that one. I'll be buying every issue of Batwoman's run in Detective Comics. Hot, sexy, ferocious and a lesbian. Count me in.


Polt said...

The only that would make me buy Marvel comics again is full on, full frontal male nudity. just sayin...

Catwoman, Ivy and Harley doesn't really sound that bad. I've got the entire run of Harley Quinn, and I gotta tell ya, it's pretty freakin' funny. If they do this right, it MAY work.


Steve said...

Am I the only one thinkin' that it looks lik Mr. Gunn is getting some gunfire from Iron Man in that picture?

Aaron said...

Maybe Iron Man will be giving it to Tim Gunn while the latter talks about boys and shoes. That will give Tim something to yell "Make it work!" about.

Honestly, you've nailed it (no pun intended): the whole plot was obviously cooked up by some cynical straight suits at Marvel (or straight tanktops or straight hoodies, or whatever those comic slackers wear). I can hear them: "Who do the 'mos most love right now? Oh, yes, that buttery queen from the fashion reality show! Well, let's make the issue all about him!"

Too bad they couldn't have latched onto us queers as a lucrative market back when Ethel Merman was still alive. Frankly, I could more easily see HER kicking some ass.

Wonder Man said...

I love the Tim Gunn cover