Monday, May 11, 2009

"So Near, and Yet So Far"

This weekend gave me two brushes with celebrity.

Faint brushes with celebrity. The kind where I claim that I (sort of) know them, but they wouldn't know me even if they actually knew me.

If that doesn't make sense, just know that, when I was in the Goodman Theatre, pre-Broadway production of The Light in the Piazza, I worked with the brilliant playwright (and book writer for Piazza), Craig Lucas.

And by "worked with," I mean that I moved a lot of tables and chairs so that the real actors could walk into the scenes Mr. Lucas had written for them to perform.

Near the end of our run, I was leaving the theatre with Patti Cohenour and Craig came up to Patti, introduced her to some friends and walked away. When Patti tried to politely explain to me why Craig had not introduced me to his friends, I told Patti...

"Sweetie, I move furniture in this show. I could do that and
also suck his dick for a week and he wouldn't know I was on the planet."

Patti gave a little grin and agreed with me. Which is not to say that Craig isn't a nice man or that I'm not excellent at giving a blowjob. He is and I am. But celebrity is celebrity. Which is why I'm happy to announce that...

I am now two degrees away from Rorschach himself, Jackie Earle Haley and I am also two degrees away from one of the surviving cast members of Gone With the Wind, Ms. Cammie King.

Cammie King played Bonnie Blue Butler.

When her son, who I met through Season of Concern a few years ago, told me this past weekend that his mother played Bonnie Blue, I let out the gay gasp. You know the gay gasp...

The gasp that somehow seems to have a sibilant S within it...

The gasp your gay roommate made when he first saw Liza Minnelli in an episode of Arrested Development...

Yeah, THAT gasp...


However, when Philip told me that he saw Jackie Earle Haley downtown yesterday, I did not let out the gay gasp. I was more envious than shocked. (Note to Self: Come up with a vocalization for envy)

But later in Philip's Jackie Earle Haley story, my gay gasp came out. It came out after he told me that he talked with Mr. Haley. And again when he explained that Mr. Haley came up to him and asked Philip if they had met before. Then, when Philip told me they had a nice chat, I let out the gay gasp again.

It's best he met Philip. I would have just gotten hurt.

Because, when you take the boy crush that I had on Jackie Earle Haley when I was a kid watching the Bad News Bears movies (yes, I liked the bad boys even then) and combine it with my uber-comic book geek nerd love of Watchmen, plus my hardcore attraction to anyone with the kind of talent it took to play Ronnie in Little Children and... well...

Let's just say, you start stalking Rorschach, you get the hot oil treatment.

5 comments:

Project Christopher said...

I've got the vocalization for envy for you. You just have to learn to spell it if you're going to write it out. Call and I'll perform it for you!

Project Christopher said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
robertian said...

Great story re: Piazza. Patti Cohenour, I understand, is one of the sweetest women ever. My friend had the opportunity to meet her in her dressing room when she was filling in for an vacationing Victoria Clark at Lincoln Center. Her story is amazing.

Dana said...

I do the "sorta brush with celebrity" thing myself. Once, I was in line for movie tickets at Graumann's Chinese behind Breckin Meyer. And, forever afterward, I would talk about how I went to the movies with Breckin Meyer. And whenever he is in a movie or TV show, I say, "Hey, that's my friend Breckin Meyer." But totally in a joking way. Sorta.

Anonymous said...

Hey,

Wanna to exchange links?

All the best,
Marcello de Giuli
www.yvymag.com