Sunday, August 10, 2008

My New Favorite Caption Contest #30

This week, we celebrate the return of a true comedy writing champion to the Caption Contest.

That's right, Philip is the winner of the #29 Caption Contest. And even though he hasn't won the Contest in a few weeks and even though he has once again surpassed himself with several brilliantly funny caption submissions, I hesitate to describe Philip's win this week as a "Comeback."

Why? Well, because we're theatre people. If I say this win is Philip's "Comeback," he might go all Norma Desmond on me, buy a casket for a dead monkey, put on a turban (which, he would look friggin' FABULOUS in because he's the Carrie friggin' Bradshaw of Boystown Chicago) and then appear out of nowhere on the street tomorrow morning shouting...

"I hate that word! It's a return!
A return to the millions of people
who have never forgiven me
for deserting the screen."



So that said, I give you Philip's RETURN as winner of the Caption Contest...

"Snacks for a pool party: $40

"Inflatable dolphin: $30

"Giving the retarded kid something to do while
the rest of us enjoy ourselves: Priceless."


It was between that submission of Philip's and "Butterflies are free but dolphins charge by the hour!" Both are brilliant, but I went with the "Priceless" joke. Because it's slightly offensive.

You know, joke 'em if they can't take a fuck.

And speaking of "taking a fuck," after seeing the picture below, don't you wish that you were a tattoo artist? Specializing on ass tats...

It's not a dude riding a plastic dolphin, but I think there are SEVERAL options with this picture. So give this boy a caption.

Or just sit and stare at his hot, Hot, HOT ass. Like I am... right now...

15 comments:

Bunny said...

But see, if I was a tattoo artist specializing in ass tats, I would get the lumpy, cottage-cheese asses the size of Montana, not hotties like that!

Eric said...

Thankfully, I washed this morning.

Anatomicsd said...

"I figured if it came with instructions it might get used more."

khbronson said...

"By clenching his cheeks, Skippy hoped to hold that fart in as long as possible."

Mark in DE said...

"Yes, I'm sure. For the last time, I said I wanted a 9" penis tatooed on my ass, with the head pointing to my crack."

Mark :-)

David said...

Strangely, the tattoo artist felt his erection wane when he realized he was emblazoning "Stevie and Bertha Sue Forever" above a photo-realistic image of a pig.

cb said...

Damn it, little pricks ARE uncomfortable!

philip said...

"Enter before knocking."

bill said...

David Cross makes sure his autograph will never be washed away

Anonymous said...

Are you sure he isn't just lancing something?

Polt said...

"I was gonna get 'Exit Only', but no one would believe that. 'All You Can Eat' makes much more sense."

HUGS...

the joy said...

Stephen... Was... Here....

Too easy? Ok...

"if you can read this, you haven't cum yet."

Shirley Heezgay! said...

"'You must be this big to ride this ride' seemed like such a good idea at the time."

Mike Ellis, The Jolly Reprobate said...

With his prison conviction virtually assured, Kevin hoped that his young ass would be protected by a well-placed "Do Not Enter" sign.

Shirley Heezgay! said...

"Can someone make sure he put an 'R' in 'Gary'!?"