Tuesday, December 11, 2007

TMI Tuesday

With today's ice storm raging through the Midwest, lyrics like "The weather outside is frightful" and "Baby, it's cold outside" have never felt so true.

But if Christmas lyrics are going to come true, I'd much prefer a Daddy type dressed in red velvet and black leather coming down my chimney... so to speak...

While I wait for that to happen, it's time for TMI Tuesday.

1. Are you and early shopper or a late shopper?

Since I haven't purchased even one present so far, I guess I'm going with "late shopper."

Which should come as no shock since I'm a "late" everything. My premature ejaculations are so late, they're on time.

2. What is your favorite cartoon (current or passed)?

While my Saturday mornings are currently taken up with both THE LEGION OF SUPERHEROES and THE BATMAN - - which are both incredibly well done Saturday morning cartoons - - my favorite cartoon, hands down, is the classic "One Froggy Evening" starring Michigan J. Frog.

You know, the one where the guy discovers the frog who just croaks when anyone else is around, but when he's alone with the man he sings....

Brilliant. Truly brilliant. And makes me laugh every single time I watch it.

3. On a scale of 1-10, how competent are you on home repair projects?

Definitely a 1. Usually, after a home repair project, I end up at the emergency room saying...

"I don't know how it got there, just get it out."

4. What is your favorite holiday tradition?

Waking up on Christmas morning to Mama's cooking. Biscuits and gravy and sausage balls and and eggs and ham. Sitting around in our PJ's, eating and talking and opening presents. There ain't nothing better than that.

5. Describe your favorite kiss? Do you give it or receive it?

The first one I ever had with boy. Hands down. I finally got what all the fuss was about. The stubble, the roughness and that taste of tobacco from the cigarette he had just smoked.

It was Peter Brady at that moment. You know, "Skyrockets."

Bonus (as in optional):What is the best holiday gift you have ever gotten? Best you've given?

This will sound weird, but the best Christmas gift I ever received was a table. Let me explain.

For some reason, when I was about 7 or so, I wanted a table and a chair for my room. I was rather precocious as a child ("precocious" is euphemism for "big pain in the ass") and I guess I wanted a desk like my father had in his office.

So, Christmas morning came and my brother and I ran into the living room and there sat all of the wrapped presents from my father and mother and all the unwrapped presents that Santa had left for us. We went nuts exchanging gifts and playing with toys and calling friends to tell them what we got.

About two hours later, my father asked me if I got everything I wanted for Christmas and I said...

"No. I didn't get my table and chair."

And my father firmly replied...

"Boy, what the Hell do you think you're sittin' at?!?"

Sure enough, all the toys were piled on, you guessed it, MY TABLE! And I was sitting on the chair that went with it, playing with the toys AT MY TABLE.

Once again proving that I was born a blonde.

The best gift I ever gave? I'd have to say the year my brother and I bought my mother a washer and dryer. Big gifts like that are just not done in my family. We don't really have the money and we're not about that.

But she needed a washer and dryer for her new apartment - - she didn't have anything after she divorced the son of a bitch that was my stepfather - - and the look on her face when she came home from work and saw her new washer and dryer hooked up with a giant bow on them was absolute perfection.

She was stunned. Speechless. Something that rarely happens with me and members of my family.


Aaron said...

I love that you were able to give your mom and washer and dryer! You were the best sons in the world at that moment, weren't you?

"One Froggy Evening" was always mine and my mom's favorite cartoon, too! In fact, I was just thinking of it the other day. I was able to give my mom a mug once with Michigan J. Frog's picture on it for a stocking stuffer, and _I_ became the best son in the world--for five minutes or so!

Your "best kiss" answer was the same as mine! If it's heartfelt, there ain't nothin' better than a kiss!

Tina said...

I was always a Gossamer girl...you know, that big red furry heart-shaped monster with the big sneakers.


Stephen Rader said...

Aaron - There's nothing quite like that perfect gift for someone you love, is there? Perhaps that's what makes this holiday so full of pressure - - that perfect gift. I guess we're blessed to find it once with each person, aren't we?

Tina - I love Gossamer!!! Brilliant answer!!

Renee said...

Funny table story. That sounds exactly like something I'd do now. ;)

And bless your little heart for giving your Mom her much needed washer and dryer. Did that sound southern enough? HA!

I do NOT want to see any remnants of that freaking ice storm. We've been in the 70s here in TN. It's weird, but I'd rather be warm than cold. Now I've gone and jinxed it. Watch it be 30 tomorrow.

And did I see the words 'sausage balls'? YUM!


Stephen Rader said...

Renee - 70's! Geez!! My brother called me from Atlanta and said that it was "too hot" for him yesterday. I nearly moved.

And yes, you saw the words "sausage balls." Or as we call them in my family, "nature's food." :)

Doug said...

Brilliant answers, as always.

This Brady Bunch aficionado gently reminds that it was Bobby Brady, not Peter, who experienced skyrockets on his first kiss. The kiss was shared with Millicent, portrayed by Melissa Sue Anderson.

How pathetic am I? As my mom would say, "Why do you still remember that? It's time to purge that file!"

roborange said...

Have you seen that demented "Robot Chicken Half-Ass Xmas Special"?

Shirley Heezgay! said...

Here we go!

1. Yup. Me, too. But only because it takes me forever to find the right things for people. Gift Certificates are hard to find.

2. This one is a three way tie. I always loved the Daffy Duck/Porky Pig as Robin Hood and Friar Tuck. Also, Superfriends and Battle Of The Planets.

3. About a 4, but then it plummets quickly when I get far too cranky/sweaty/aggravated to complete the task. That's why God made the yellow pages.

4. That's nice, but I don't always like talking to my family. I guess its something simple like eating my mom's Christmas baking and listening to Christmas music.

5. Yup, me too.

Bonus: You're too much...."precocious" is euphemism for "big pain in the ass" I always thought the euphemisms were gender specific.

Precocious little girl: Alexis in the making.

Precocious little boy: Going to be in show business.

Thomas MacEntee said...

As for #3 - Home Improvements:

I'm embarassed to say I'm in the 9 range. Which probably makes me a male Lesbian.

Stephen Rader said...

Doug - Damn, you're right! And I even included a link that SAYS it's Bobby. What a blonde I am!

roboroange - I just watched it last night!! Not quite as good as their Star Wars special, but definitely funny as Hell.

Shirley Heezgay - You're so right! Precocious is SO gender specific! Just look at my chosen career to see how right you are!

Thomas MacEntee - I now now who to call for those fix-it's around the house, you lesbian, you!

Catty Bitch said...

If I didn't say "What's OPera Doc" or The Rabbit of Seville" I wouldn't be who I am today. But after that, it's Duck Dodgers in the 24th and a Half Century".

Daffy and Porky were the Blanche and Dorothy of Saturday morning.

Amorous Rocker said...

Aww, Michigan J. Frog is adorable. I was so very amused by the little guy when I was younger. Your answer to 3 made me roll, lol. =X I loved both of your stories in the bonus. I can relate to the table story as my little sister wanted a table and chairs that had legs that looked like Crayola crayons and she got it for Xmas. No toys got piled on hers, it just sat against the wall with it's two little chairs. She didn't go near it so my parents assumed that she hadn't really wanted it. My mom was preparing to take it apart later that evening so she could return it when my sister finally noticed it and then immediately started crying because my mom was taking it apart. Ahh memories. Great answers! It's always enjoyable reading yours. Happy late TMI. :)

Stephen Rader said...

Catty Bitch - "Daffy and Porky were the Blanche and Dorothy of Saturday morning." If THAT isn't a Master's Thesis waiting to be written, I don't know what IS!!! Brilliant!

Amorous Rocker - Thank you! I love your sister's table story. Nice to know I was not alone in my need for my personal table and chair as a toddler. I probably wanted to sit on the chair and lip sync to Julie Andrews singing "In my own little corner, In my own little chair, I can be whatever I want to be." :)