I'm not very much in tune with the world of podcasters. To me, the ultimate Queercast would Lilly Tomlin's Ernestine...
"Have I reached the party to whom I am speaking"
That said, Amy and Peter put together really great shows. If you want to listen to my World AIDS Day podcase with Amy, it's up now. Give it a listen if you feel like it.
I probably won't be listening to it. Why? Well, first of all, I was there, so I know what I said (at least I hope I do...), but the main reason comes down to the fact that I hate the sound of my voice.
My talking voice, that is. I've learned to enjoy my singing voice. A little. However, I'm not one of those singers who wants to listen to the track they just recorded or who hosts parties to show my friends the tape of my star turn as The Leading Player in my college production of PIPPIN.
I'm sure when I'm in my 80's, I'll click on those tracks and pop in those videos of my performances and enjoy them. What I was. What I could do. Hopefully, what I'll still be able to do when I'm 80, but just in case I can't, I'll have proof that at one time, I could.
Sort of like the naked pictures I have of myself at my most ripped. They prove the body I can achieve with a little willpower, a little gym sweat, no carbs and all protein. I look at those pictures and say to myself...
"Damn. I was hot. Pass me the pizza, dear. No, not a 'slice.' The PIZZA! Thank you."
So, although I may be able to occasionally listen to my singing voice, my talking voice is just too painful to hear.
I realize that I don't sound like Barry White to other people, but when I hear my recorded talking voice, it sounds like...
Well, Doug one day said that I sounded just like Kayne from Season Three of PROJECT RUNWAY. And I'm pretty sure he's right. And I hate that, because when my brain hears my recorded voice, it's Kayne's voice, only faggier and with S's that go on for dayssssssssss.
As comfortable as I am with myself as a gay person, something about sounding like a big old sissy puts me right back in the moment when my father screamed at me to...
"Stop walking like a damn girl!"
He forgot that as soon as he said it. It's burned in my mind. I hate it.
Good thing I have a huge cock or my self-confidence would be shattered.
P.S. For the record, I did not play The Leading Player in PIPPIN in college.
I have never played The Leading Player in PIPPIN.
I've played Fastrada 17 times.
The Leading Player? Zero.