Saturday, November 01, 2008

"You've Got to Go Forwards to Go Back"

I just returned home from a quick trip downtown to help the cast of Wicked collect audience donations for Season of Concern and... well...

I know that October 31st fell on a Friday this year. And I know that tonight, we "fall back," which means there's an extra hour of bar time for everyone. But...

There are way too many people out and about in costume tonight for my taste. There, I said it.

Halloween was yesterday. Wearing your fun new costume on October 31st AND November 1st makes you look like your doing the walk of shame in the middle of a Halloween parade. And everyone thinks you're dressed as "white trash," but you're not wearing a costume. Yeah...

Also, a Superman costume would have been perfect to wear last night, but walk to the El in a cape and red boots with a huge "S" on your chest a couple of days in a row, and people will think you are now, officially "Margot Kidder" batshit crazy.

Not that I begrudge anyone some costume fun - - especially if it involves leather and a man I call "Daddy" - - but as I saw all the Jokers and Sarah Palins walking around, all I could think of was this little piece of a story by David Sedaris...



The night after Halloween, we were sitting around watching TV when the doorbell rang. Visitors were infrequent at our house, so, while my father stayed behind, my mother, sisters, and I ran downstairs in a group, opening the door to discover the entire Tomkey family on our front stoop. 

The parents looked as they always had, but the son and daughter were dressed in costumes—she as a ballerina and he as some kind of rodent with terry-cloth ears and a tail made from what looked to be an extension cord. It seemed they had spent the previous evening isolated at the lake, and had missed the opportunity to observe Halloween. “So, well, I guess we’re trick-or-treating now, if that’s OK,” Mr. Tomkey said.

I attributed their behavior to the fact that they didn’t have a TV, but television didn’t teach you everything. Asking for candy on Halloween was called trick-or-treating, but asking for candy on November 1st was called begging, and it made people uncomfortable. 

8 comments:

Java said...

However, that Superman can dress in those tight bright red pants any day. Or every day. And parade by me. Often. I can't decide if I like the front or back view better.

EMikeGarcia said...

That costume is borderline OBSCENE!!!

I love it.

georg said...

Nice basket and a great ass!

georg said...

Nice basket and a great ass!

Mike Ellis, The Jolly Reprobate said...

I agree with Georg.
Both times.

Mark in DE said...

Holy crap on a cracker! Those Superman photos are FANTASTIC! Please tell me you took those yourself, and then proceeded to take HIM yourself.

Mark :-)

RobB said...

I agree with all of the above!! :)

Anonymous said...

You can look for that guy (and his collection of costumes) online. He calls himself "Monkey of Steel."