Since I drink at least one Double Gulp of Diet Coke every day, I go to the bathroom at my office a lot.
What I just saw and heard in the men's room has happened a few times before and I just have to talk about it.
And before your filthy mind goes there, this has nothing to do with glory holes. I'm well versed in the art of the glory hole, thank you very much.
And this isn't about some Larry Craig foot tapping either. I mastered tea room language years before Larry Craig had even started dating that beard he married.
No, as I stood at the urinal just now, I heard a phone start to ring. And then, the man seated in the stall to my right - - apparently his early afternoon coffee had just kicked in - - ANSWERED HIS CELL PHONE!!! In mid-poop!!!
And as he talked to whoever it was on his phone, under the partition, I could see his hand reach down onto the floor of the bathroom to pick up THE PLASTIC CUP OF WATER he brought with him into the stall! And he drank it!! Over and over!!
Buddy, are you really so busy that you have to take care of business on your cell phone while you're "taking care of business?"
And is going to the bathroom such an all-day event that you have to bring water with you so that you remain hydrated?!?
Please Note: If I ever call you and you're "taking care of some business, " DO NOT answer my call. It can wait. Even if I'm bleeding and have a vital organ hanging out of my body, it can wait!!
And if you do answer, for God's sake, don't tell me what you're doing!! Even if I ask!!!
Also, if you have to bring refreshments along for your mid-afternoon poop, you have no room in your life for me.
I've had a lot of things put a lot of places in, on and around me, but talking and drinking when pooping is just too much for me. Anybody else with me on this one?!?