"Hey There! There Goes the Spider-Man"

All day yesterday, I was fighting off some sort of summer cold.

And by "Fighting," I mean, "Sleeping nearly all day after knocking back Tylenol Cold Nighttime capsules like Neely O'Hara on a doll binge." And by "summer," I mean those brief moments this past weekend when Chicago's temperature rose above 90 degrees for the first time this year.

Just two days of real heat. That's it. That's summer in the Windy City.

Can't we save just a little Global Warming for Chicago? Just a little? I'll pay for it.

I'm much better today than I was yesterday. And the state of the modern American musical theatre is also MUCH better today. Much better than it's been in months.

As you may or may not know, as far as his upcoming musical,
Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark is concerned...

Last week, the crew was put on haitus and this week, the actors were released from their contracts. Or as Mark Reidel so kindly entitled his report in the New York Post,
"'Spider-Man' A No-Show"

Now, I would never be so crass as to point out that I told you so. I don't need to do that.
You can easily see that I told you by going here and here.

Why would anyone in their right mind work on a musical theatre version of ANY comic book character after the "I Can't Believe They Didn't Kill It In Previews" Superman musical,
"It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's Superman!"?!?

Did Spidey really think he could beat the Big Blue Boy Scout? Come on...

Supes is the granddaddy of all superheroes, he started it all. He's also the sweetest, most "Take Him Home to Mama," apple pie, white bread, good guy ever created. And yet, he still frightened us to the core of our very soul when he started crooning a Broadway tune...

Luckily, Spidey's musical didn't make it that far. Or I should say, hopefully won't make it that far. Apparently, the $45 million budget was a little hard to raise in our current economy. I know. Shock.

I guess one of the producers finally went into the Hilton Theatre (which has already been gutted for the show, by the way), counted the seats, figured out that they would have to fill all 1,700 seats every night for five years to make back their investment and decided that maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

Mark Reidel is calling it the "biggest fiasco in Broadway history."
Almost as big a fiasco as "Carrie: the Musical." And the Spider-Mobile.

Well, at least we were spared listening to that score
composed by Bono and the Edge.

It's all so similar to the cover of "The Amazing Spider-Man" #96.
Imagine the woman lying unconscious in the street is Julie Taymor.
And Spider-Man? Well...

Now that his brief stint upon the wicked stage is over,
he's heading to his new job...

Hey, Peter. If you're looking for a night job to help support you
and that aunt who just won't die, I have a suggestion...