Thursday, August 13, 2009

"Hey There! There Goes the Spider-Man"

All day yesterday, I was fighting off some sort of summer cold.

And by "Fighting," I mean, "Sleeping nearly all day after knocking back Tylenol Cold Nighttime capsules like Neely O'Hara on a doll binge." And by "summer," I mean those brief moments this past weekend when Chicago's temperature rose above 90 degrees for the first time this year.

Just two days of real heat. That's it. That's summer in the Windy City.

Can't we save just a little Global Warming for Chicago? Just a little? I'll pay for it.

I'm much better today than I was yesterday. And the state of the modern American musical theatre is also MUCH better today. Much better than it's been in months.



As you may or may not know, as far as his upcoming musical,
Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark is concerned...




Last week, the crew was put on haitus and this week, the actors were released from their contracts. Or as Mark Reidel so kindly entitled his report in the New York Post,
"'Spider-Man' A No-Show"

Now, I would never be so crass as to point out that I told you so. I don't need to do that.
You can easily see that I told you by going here and here.

Why would anyone in their right mind work on a musical theatre version of ANY comic book character after the "I Can't Believe They Didn't Kill It In Previews" Superman musical,
"It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's Superman!"?!?

Did Spidey really think he could beat the Big Blue Boy Scout? Come on...




Supes is the granddaddy of all superheroes, he started it all. He's also the sweetest, most "Take Him Home to Mama," apple pie, white bread, good guy ever created. And yet, he still frightened us to the core of our very soul when he started crooning a Broadway tune...




Luckily, Spidey's musical didn't make it that far. Or I should say, hopefully won't make it that far. Apparently, the $45 million budget was a little hard to raise in our current economy. I know. Shock.

I guess one of the producers finally went into the Hilton Theatre (which has already been gutted for the show, by the way), counted the seats, figured out that they would have to fill all 1,700 seats every night for five years to make back their investment and decided that maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

Mark Reidel is calling it the "biggest fiasco in Broadway history."
Almost as big a fiasco as "Carrie: the Musical." And the Spider-Mobile.




Well, at least we were spared listening to that score
composed by Bono and the Edge.




It's all so similar to the cover of "The Amazing Spider-Man" #96.
Imagine the woman lying unconscious in the street is Julie Taymor.
And Spider-Man? Well...




Now that his brief stint upon the wicked stage is over,
he's heading to his new job...




Hey, Peter. If you're looking for a night job to help support you
and that aunt who just won't die, I have a suggestion...

10 comments:

Michael Rivers said...

Okay, I had several comments in my mind until I got to the end photo of Spiderman undressing. My mouth is still hanging open. HOT! My superhero fetish kicked in and I forget everything else.

I'll reply later. Right now, I need to compose myself.

Doctor K said...

Um...yeah. I definitely vote for that type of after-hours work for Spider Man.

Mike said...

I believe I said this just might be "the biggest Irish disaster since the potato famine" -- looks like I was right... though the picture at the end of the post does make the whole ordeal worth it. I mean not $45 million, but darn close.

Project Christopher said...

Someone said "SpiderMan the Musical will work!" like they said "Ishtar is going to be a BLOCKBUSTER!" and "No, it's OK to wear spandex at 342 pounds!"

Wonder Man said...

Carrie the Musical... Ha

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

I've been popping zyrtec like candy, dropping drops, and sloshing cough syrup...dont know if im getting better or not..fell into a coma about 3 days ago..it's been in 1-1-107 for months here..allergies are killing me.

Prospero said...

You know how I felt about this concept already, but I had to add my 2 cents. Julie Taymor is a genius director. Most of the U2 catalogue is brilliant. But why on earth anyone thought they should get together and do a superhero musical is way beyond comprehension. There have only been 2 truly successful comic-based msuicals; "Annie" and "L'il Abner." And both are pure crap. Let's hope no insane bazillionaire steps in to rescue this fiasco at the last minute.

Prospero said...

P.S. - I'm actually one of the unlucky few who actually saw "Carrie White" (which is what it was called in previews) on Broadway. Poor, poor Betty Buckley. Bumped up from gym teacher to Maragret White in a red fright wig and forced to sing some of the most atrocious songs ever written. People (those who stayed) actually booed at the curtain call.

Polt said...

I dont have a superhero fetish...or I didn't until I saw that last photo...suh-weet! Got my spidersense tingling...or something...

HUGS...

cb said...

I think it would be hotter if the last guy left the mask on....