Monday, August 03, 2009

"Strong Enough to Hold This Man Suspended in Mid-Air!"

We live in a seriously fucked up country.

The former President started a war by lying to the country, and currently, he's telling pussy jokes to the good ol' boys at his country club. But if some random dude is caught walking down the street with a dime bag in his pocket, he goes to jail for 5 to 10 years. That is, to put it mildly, fucked up.

As is this story about a man, his wife and the other women he was sleeping with.

Apparently, the wife found out he was cheating on her, contacted the other three women and one of them arranged to meet the no good, cheating, son of a bitch husband at a motel.

She told him she would give him an erotic massage. After she tied him up. And blindfolded him.

And she did tie him up. And she did blindfold him. But she didn't give him the massage. She sent a text message to his wife and the two other mistresses and had them enter the room.

Then, it was the "Who do you love?" game. Complete with punching him the face and threatening him with mace.

The fact that they set all this up (and that they punched him in the face) makes them heroes in my book. But what they did next has turned me into a devout follower of all four of these women.

They Krazy Glued. His penis. To his stomach.

Soon after that, he started screaming, so they took his keys and his car and his cell phone and left. They didn't want things to get brutal. That's why I love these women.

But hubby managed to free himself, called the police and pressed charges. The slime ball. So now, these four heroines are facing serious prison time for doing something that they SHOULD have done in the first place. It's ridiculous.

If you and the women your husband has been sleeping with tie up the son of a bitch, humiliate him and Krazy Glue his penis to his stomach, then the city SHOULD NOT throw you in jail.

The city should throw you a fucking parade.

To these four women, I tip my hat, raise my cocktail glass and proudly say, "'Atta girl."

And next time, remember to bring a ball gag.


Kevin said...

Atta DAMN girl!

Andrew J. said...

Ehhh...this may not be a popular sentiment here, goes:

The dude was clearly an asshole, and I have no true sympathy for him.

And I LOVES me some "9 to 5" revenge action--when it takes place in the fantasy realm of the MOVIES.

But we live in a country where the "left" want to return us to the "rule of law" (and I definitely consider myself an American of the "left")--and I believe that a true left-thinking person should recoil at this story. Sure, on a visceral level, it feels good to think that this jerk got what was coming to him and to celebrate what these women did to "take control."

But this is the same blasted mind-set that leads right-wingers to justify their condoning of torture. It is!

Some want to throw parades for women who Krazy Glue asshole dude's dicks to their stomachs; others want to a pin medal of honor on soldiers who degrade, humiliate, and abuse prisoners of war. It may not seem equivalent, but there's a connection.

And it's not just a slippery slope -- it's a degradation of discourse that fuels the worst in all of us.


*sigh* too serious. Time to finish watching Tivo-ed Venture Brothers... (torture and violent mayhem should stick to the realms of superior animated entertainment...)

Aaron said...

I kinda agree with Andrew. I applaud the women for their moxie and all, but the law is the law...they could have just lured him into the house, got him naked, then pushed him out the door without his clothes if they wanted to humiliate him.

Anyway, they look kind of nuts. (Especially the one in the first photo. I thought the "Dee Snider from Twisted Sister" look was over.)

Jason Messinger said...

All I know is that when the guy goes to the hospital to get his junk disconnected from his stomach,
I'd be like: "cut a little on the stomach side"

Amy said...

omg....the 2nd woman all with her arms crossed..."Yeah, I did it....and what?" Haa... it's not like they cut it off or anything...geez....

james said...

you'll note, though, that the news stories (and i guess the police report) did not say 'penis.' they all said 'body part' or 'sensitive body part.' puh-leeze.

kansastock said...

No jury will EVER convict them... hell, they won't even need an attorney.

Anonymous said...

wasn't there a line in Sordid Lives, when they were in jail, another lady said she super glued her husband's dick to his stomach, "he pressed charges."?

Just Kevin... said...

I have to wonder a few things:
*If it was reversed and the husband and her 3 male lovers had glued her twat shut would it be played up as funny? Doubt it...But it'd be a Jody Foster movie in time for the Oscars!
*If every man who ever cheated got this treatment...well, there'd be a real shortage of men without scars on their stomachs!

*None of these 3 'mistresses' had any suspicion he was married? If not, why meet in a motel? Hmmm wifey should put some of that Krazy glue in a turkey baster next time and go after them, too, huh?

Just wondering....

RG said...

Man, these are some scary looking women. Why in the world would this stupid man piss these women off?