Sunday, June 17, 2007

Pussy Galore

The Beelzebub of Broadway, Andrew Lloyd Webber, made an announcement to the British press a couple of weeks ago regarding the new musical he is currently composing which is...

I couldn't make this up...

A sequel to his hit musical THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA entitled...

PHANTOM IN MANHATTAN

Hmmm....

Where have I heard a title like that before?...



What Andrew says happened to his score of PHANTOM IN MANHATTAN is so fucking ridiculous, it could actually be true.

If he is really telling the truth, then the art of musical theatre has been saved - - at least for the moment - - by a pussy cat.

But if he's telling a lie, then this is the worst version of "The dog ate my homework" in recorded history.

Andrew Lloyd Webber’s sequel to The Phantom Of The Opera is one of theatreland’s most anticipated events.

But, I can reveal, a bizarre mishap means that it is likely to be longer than expected before it reaches the stage.


Lloyd Webber, 59, was working on the score at his computerised grand piano when his six-month-old kitten Otto clambered into its frame and managed to delete everything he had written so far.


The digital Clavinova piano has an inbuilt computer and the ability to play back thousands of songs from its memory.


But Lloyd Webber was unable to recover his work from the high-tech instrument after Otto, a rare-breed Turkish Van, had done his worst.


Says the composer: “I was trying to write some new music; Otto got into the grand piano, jumped onto the computer and destroyed the entire score for the new Phantom in one fell swoop.”


Turkish Vans — also known as the swimming cats — cost up to £400 and it had long been Lloyd Webber’s ambition to own one.


The musical — called Phantom In Manhattan — is set in 1901, 20 years after the original, and is based partly on a novel by Day Of The Jackal author Frederick Forsyth, in which the deformed Erik leaves Paris to seek his fortune in New York.


Maybe it's me, but when a cat - - a symbol of one of your musicals - - singlehandedly destroys your work on a sequel to one of your other musicals, wouldn't you take that as a sign that the universe is saying...

"Take your hands off the fucking keyboard, Andy!"

13 comments:

Aaron said...

In a related story, Webber reports that Otto was delicious! :-)

Too bad he won't be releasing the musical soon, though...I was looking forward to the duet between Miss Piggy and Michael Crawford.

Michael said...

Lyrics from the Roger Waters song IT'S A MIRACLE off the AMUSED TO DEATH album.

We cower in our shelters
With our hands over our ears
Lloyd-Webber's awful stuff
Runs for years and years and years
An earthquake hits the theater
But the operetta lingers
Then the piano lid comes down
And breaks his fucking fingers
It's a miracle.....

Aaron said...

Holy Christ, that's marvelous...

Lance Noe said...

ok, I know I may get tomoatoes thrown at me but I love phantom. it was my first broadway show. then again I also love Carrie the muscial, so a sequel to Phantom sounds like a terrific idea to me!

Stephen Rader said...

Aaron - "In a related story, Webber reports that Otto was delicious!"

Okay, that made me laugh out loud. I think the office next door is registering a complaint for the horse laugh I just emitted.

I can just see Miss Piggy singing NEVER BEFORE to Michael Crawford. And Crawford, by the way, is an asshole. I know stories from a former Christine in PHANTOM. I'll give you all the juicy gossip tomorrow night!!

Michael - Genius lyrics. Pure genius!!

Lance - Since you also love Sondheim's PACIFIC OVERTURES, I forgive your love of PHANTOM and CARRIE.

Hey... wait a minute... maybe Carrie White can make a cameo appearance in PHANTOM IN MANHATTAN! Now, THAT I would buy a ticket to see!

Aaron said...

I remember our grade-school art teacher used to let us bring and listen to records on Fridays. Somebody brought "The Muppet Movie" soundtrack and when Miss Piggy hit the high note at the very end of "Never Before," I wished I had a picture of our art teacher's face...

Stephen Rader said...

Aaron - I love that! You know, you're causing me to download quite a bit of music!!! I actually had to find Olivia Newton-John's MAKE A MOVE ON ME the other day just so I could sing and dance to it in the privacy of my apartment.

And needless to say, I looked uber-ridiculous! :)

Aaron said...

I'm sure you did NOT look ridiculous. Just "free-spirited." (That's how I prefer to think of myself, anyway...)

Stephen Rader said...

Aaron - The next time I'm auditioning for a musical and they ask me if I dance, I'm going to say, "No, but I'm free-spirited!" I love that!

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

That is beyond awful!

Stephen Rader said...

Whim - Yep, there's "awful" and then there's "Lloyd Webber."

And then, there's Maude!

Aaron said...

I was just watching that again tonight...the one where Florida comes to work for them.

Stephen Rader said...

Aaron - I have yet to buy the first season of dvd. I NEED to buy that in a bad way!!!

We have WAY too much in common! :)