Friday, June 08, 2007

Glove Love or Love The Glove

It's a shame that this year's IML has already passed.

If the boys had known about this, a new "sport" would have emerged.

Hell, if I was lucky enough to be the first man to bring this new kink to the masses, I probably would have been given the title of Mr. IML for 2007.

And I would have done it all without wearing leather. I'd just gear up in some lacrosse equipment.

Lacrosse coach knew of 'gloving,' players say

Former Dublin Coffman lacrosse coach Brian Simpson threatened to "glove" players who didn't behave, the players told police investigating reports about the sexual assault in 2006 of a teammate.

Although Simpson, who was the head coach of the team, testified in court that he didn't learn of the March 26 incident until April 17, his former players told a different story to police.

A former player says that assistant coach Greg Simpson held him down on a charter bus while another assistant coach, Dustin Pentz, inserted his gloved fingers into the athlete's rectum during a team trip to Tennessee.

Players told police that Brian Simpson not only knew of the incident but threatened to do the same to players who misbehaved. And some players said the assistant coaches told them that they had participated in "gloving" before.

According to the players' statements, Greg Simpson told them that he had "invented" the glove and Pentz said that "he was a changed man after ... he had been gloved."

A Franklin County Municipal Court judge acquitted Brian Simpson of witness intimidation in February. His father, former volunteer coach Frank Simpson, 58, was found guilty of the same charge for pressuring the player to recant his sexual-assault claim during a meeting with the team.

During that trial, both Brian and Frank Simpson testified that they did not know about the reported assault until school officials told them three weeks later.

But an 18-year-old who was on the team told police that Brian Simpson referred to the incident hours after it is said to have occurred. He said Simpson warned him that the student who said he had been assaulted would get "the glove again" if he did not return to his hotel room at curfew.

A 17-year-old teammate said he heard Pentz tell Brian Simpson, "Hey, B, I got three fingers in him" immediately after the incident.

Several other players told police that the head coach made regular comments about the glove during the trip, characterizing it as reward for a good practice or a punishment for being disorderly.

Yeah. These guys put their fingers up the asses of high school lacrosse players while wearing a lacrosse glove.

For the record, here's what a lacrosse glove looks like up close.

Now, consider that the coach apparently said that "getting the glove" was either a punishment or a "reward for a good practise."

And they call ME queer?!?!

Confused by the article?
So am I. Especially since all of the men doing the "gloving" are named Simpson and are related.

And not like "second cousin" related. I mean, "father and brothers" related.

From what I can tell, the former coach is the father and one of his sons is now the current coach and the other son is the assistant coach.

And they all "glove" their players.

Ya'll, I have been in some kinky, perverted scenes in my day, but even I haven't done this one...

A Daddy and his two sons are coaches on my high school lacrosse team who will "punish" me for losing "the big game" by shoving their lacrosse-gloved hand up my butt.

Ok, I know that's rape in the real world, but everything about that makes me HOT.

Who is free this weekend to help me make this new fantasy a reality?

And does anybody know where I can buy some lacrosse gloves?


I found this story on Ajax in the City. Check him out. He's hot.

Almost "Lacrosse Team Family Fun" hot.


Aaron said...

Even Kyle Lamson wants a sniff! I mean, er, ugh! God, how disgusting!

Stephen Rader said...

Aaron - Kyle Lamson!?!?! You are amazing, do you know that?!?!?!

I'm not sure if you and I should ever be in the same room for more than 5 minutes. The world might IMPLODE with our fabulousness! :)

Mr. Aaron said...

Stephen, I can't BELIEVE I haven't mentioned this exciting new form of male athletic/sexual bonding. Some of the higher-powered glove models can be wired for electricity, to give that Energizer Bunny reward/punishment experience. And, just because it has to be said, if The One Held Down, i.e. THE BOTTOM, is confused about whether he's being rewarded or punished, he's just not been paying attention, and is therefore due a longer and more public mentoring scene. Unless, of course, the scene is so psycho-sexually complex that one may be receiving punishment because of behavior that must be rewarded, or vice-versa, a very advanced scene only for the most carefully trained and/or the most blissfully unaware. I must add the disclaimer that all of this goodness is for professional players and leatherpeople only. THIS SHOULDN’T BE ATTEMPTED IN HIGH SCHOOL LACROSSE, what with the laws and the police, and all.

Master Aaron said...

PS - Master Aaron got so excited sbout the new gloves that he changed his name.

whimsicalnbrainpan said...


Stephen Rader said...

Mr. and/or Master Aaron - Basically, you're saying to the kids, "Don't try this at home," right?

"Don't try this at home?!?!" Fuck that. I'm already geared up!!!

Whim - Yep. Ouch. But in a good way. :)