Gay Pride Parade 2007
I met Michael and Ryan at the corner of Cocksucker and Rimjob... err... I mean... Roscoe and Broadway...
For reasons that I don't understand but I truly love, Michael and Ryan's first question to me when I arrived at our Homo Central du jour was something to the effect of...
"Which one of the DESIGNING WOMEN are you?"
I immediately said that I would accept NOTHING less than Julia (the radiant Dixie Carter), which left Michael to claim Bernice (Alice Ghostly). Say hello, "Bernice."
Wait. What does that button say on "Bernice's" leg?
Oh, "Bernice." You're so fantastically trashy. We love you so.
Cutie-patootie Ryan chose Charlene. Since he would be our Rose if we were THE GOLDEN GIRLS, it fits perfectly.
But ya'll. Look at what I caught "Charlene" doing...
Folks, the picture above is rare, Rare, RARE!!!
That's a picture of a gay man actually EATING IN FRONT OF OTHER GAY MEN AT A GAY PRIDE PARADE!!!!
Seeing a gay man eat a muffin in public at a gay pride parade is like seeing Tom Cruise lick pussy - - it just DOESN'T HAPPEN NATURALLY!!!
Okay... ummm... "Charlene" seems to be enjoying her muffin a little too much, don'tcha think?
It didn't take long until we were met by my good friends Karen, Philip, Lynda, Doug, Jackie, Mike, Andy "Charlene's" friend Phillipe and Karen's friends AJ and Steven.
Then, the parade began! Here are some of the highlights.
Notice that my "highlights" center on half-naked men. I know the first rule of mass media...
"Give the people what they want!"
The float in the picture above is for Roscoe's and I sure hope that's a "20 Years" and not a "10 Years" sign. I think they are lying about their age even at 20 years.
I mean, wasn't Roscoe's around when our boys came home from The Great War? And even THEN, it was populated by barely legal twinks in flip-flops and white belts.
Let's see, who sponsored the float in the picture above?
Men + Shorty-Short Towels + Bubbles = Bathhouse!
That's right. It's Steamworks. Steamworks celebrated a big anniversary last year and decorated the front of their building with a huge string of pearls. I remember saying to someone...
"Why does Steamworks have a big pearl necklace around it's... oh... nevermind..."
The picture above is of the Circuit float.
As I took this picture, the boy in the center caught me doing my best Jimmy Olsen of his amazingly hot physique and grinned like a cute 5 year old boy who had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
Then, he pointed at me and blew me a kiss. I would like to publicly announce right here and now that I would like to personally thank him for his kind kiss and return it with a blow of my own. One of the "job" variety.
He is HOT!
The rest of the Circuit float was pretty fabulous too. I love the guy in the red wings (Did I just type "red wings?" Oh my dear Lord...), but the boy in pink wins the prize for "Hottest Boy With Wings" of the day.
"Think Pink," indeed.
More Gay Pride Parade coverage to come.
Tomorrow, I will post pictures from the end of the parade and cute pictures of AJ, Steven, Karen, Phillipe and the lovely Dan who walked the parade route in his underwear for his upcoming production of A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM.
When the crowd wasn't giving him all the hooting and hollering and applause that is indeed NECESSARY when one is marching, Dan would scream at the crowd...
"Look, bitches. I'm walking down the street IN MY UNDERWEAR!!! I'm not doing this so you can just stand there and take pictures. MAKE SOME FUCKING NOISE!!!"
That's why I love me some Dan.
Hope everyone had a Happy Pride!