"You said 'underoos'. You win."
Now, for those of you unfortunate enough to have been born in the 80's or (horror of horror) the 90's...
...Was ANYONE actually born after 1989? Nah...
...you might need a little education in the fabulous world of Underoos.
Underoos are easily defined by the advertising tagline on the original packaging...
"Underwear that's Fun to Wear!"
They were incredibly cool sets of underwear for kids - - up to about age 12 - - that came in a variety of styles, like Batman and Superman...
Now, neither of the boys in the picture below is me (ahh... the magic of the google image search...), but I did own a pair of Superman Underoos exactly like the ones sported by the sassy kid on the left with the Bunny Slippers.
Or are those Mouse Slippers?
And if they are Mouse Slippers, why the fuck would you give your kid Mouse Slippers?!?
And if you owned them, why would you wear Mouse Slippers with your Superman Underoos?!?
Obviously, this child is NOT an F.I.T. ("Fag In Training")
No, we F.I.T.'s wanted one of these - - Wonder Woman and Supergirl Underoos!
Oh, how I envied girls like these...
Notice these girls are not wearing Bunny OR Mouse Slippers with their Underoos. Well done, girls. Well done.
For some reason - - I'm not sure why - - my parents wouldn't buy me Wonder Woman or Supergirl Underoos.
They would buy me either one of the Luke Skywalker styles...
They'd even make me into a mini-Boba Fett - -
Boba Fett Underoos: For the little jet pack bounty hunter in all of us.
Are you like me? Have you been aching for a new pair of Underoos?
Well, ache no more! Daniel Fryer here has solved all of our problems and designed...
As his site explains...
"I was walking in the Big W one day and this smirking little brown noser of a kid was waving a new pair of trucks and tractor undies in my face.
I admit it was probably wrong to stick my foot out and trip him to the floor, but someone needed to teach him a lesson.
And it got me thinking. Did I have a problem? Was I alone? Could I do anything about it? Were there security cameras in the store? Was my package as big as the guy's in the poster?
I figured I probably did have a few issues, but if I was jealous about the undies, then chances are I wasn't alone.
So I set out to create a range of mens trunks reminiscent of those we used to wear as kids.
Introducing 'Undertoys'."
Check out these kick ass styles! He has Super!
Sure, it's more Superman than Supergirl and there's no Wonder Woman, but with a design and a basket like that, who's complaining?!?
Then, there's Camo!
That's quite the One Eyed Wonder Worm he's got there, isn't it?
And the dragon ain't so bad, either.
And my other favorite, Invaders.
When I get a pair of these, I will definitely be sitting in front of my Atari 2600 for DAYS wearing my Invaders, playing Space Invaders and wishing someone would invade... well... you get the idea...
And with cute as Hell packaging like this, who can lose?
So, check out Daniel's site and order up a few pair of Undertoys.
And if you need my address or size, just ask.
16 comments:
The packaging is pretty neat, I'll give you that. And, the underwear itself is also colorful (well, at least the first one is). But, Underoos? Is that an allusion to Australia?
"...Was ANYONE actually born after 1989? Nah..."
Rats. And I was just starting to think that I existed again.
I'm just wondering how many monitor lists you're going to appear on for Googling "kids in Underoos." And me, for typing the phrase just now! :-)
yinyang - I don't think there as any allusion to Australia meant in naming them Underoos, but you never know. It was the 70's and with all that Red Dye #2 going around, anything is possible.
Of course you exist! I mean, after all I was born in 1990! At least I was in my mind's eye! :)
Aaron - What is a "monitor list?" And should I be afraid of them?
I mean, I don't want to write a cute post about Underoos and end up with Chris Hanson and the team from TO CATCH A PREDATOR knocking on my door!!!
Can't you boys just wear a nice sheer pair of French-cut panties, like the hets? And maybe some panty hose? I mean, if it's good enough for Joe Namath... C'mon, let's butch it up already.
I totally had Wonder Woman Underoos! I would have soooo rather had Bat Man Underoos...that should have been an indication of things to come! :o)
Master Aaron - I'll just go commando... like Burt Reynolds in that one ad from the 70's. Yum...
Jeanne - If only we had known each other back then, we could have TRADED UNDEROOS!!! :)
It's one of those Internet tracking things where search strings are entered. I don't think it's actually anything to worry about unless "they" (the shadowy and ever-trustworthy CIA?) detect consistent searches for similar terms or word strings. (I could be getting the term wrong--maybe it's "watch list." I know they exist, I just don't know who maintains them.)
Aaron - Nice to know that I can't even google without G.W.'s nose in my business.
Joni Mitchell was/is right...
"They paved Paradise and put up a parking lot..."
Of course not! What ELSE is the man doing? Certainly not governing effectively--he has to do SOMETHING to occupy himself (since masturbation was obviously too frustrating for him).
Aaron - Maybe I should google search for something that would get him stiff. Something like "oil profits."
That would take him away from other things for a little while at least. :)
OMG - those two little boys in underwear are from planetdan.net - one of my favorite blogs. One of them is him. Small world.
Bob - Way too small! You'd think there would be a ton of pictures of boys in Underoos from the late 70's all over the google. :)
God, that's a sick thought...
This is the post:
http://www.planetdan.net/blog/2005/05/me-circa-1981.htm
Bob - I love it!!! Thanks for the link to his post!!
Six degrees of separation, indeed.
Hi Stephen, great to see you liked my dacks. and thanks for the plug, drop me an email and i'll send you a pair.
Yours in undies and toys,
Daniel
undertoys@hotmail.com
undertoys.com.au
Daniel - You're the best and I LOVE your Undertoys!! Congratulations on all their success!
You'll send me a pair?!?! Really?!?!?!? WOOHOO!!!
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