Monday, July 02, 2007

Scooter Gets Commuted. America Gets Fucked

Today, President George W. Bush gave the United States a little early July 4th message.

In essence, he said...

"Happy Birthday, America!
And Fuck You!"

Those weren't his exact words. I'm merely translating what I heard when he commuted former White House aide I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby's 30 month prison term.

A prison term Mr. Libby earned after being convicted of perjury, obstruction of justice and lying to investigators.

What is a "commutation," you ask? Well, according to Wikipedia...

"Commutation of sentence involves the reduction of legal penalties, especially of terms of imprisonment. Commutation is normally linked to prisoners' good behavior."


Good behavior? That's funny. I always thought that perjury, obstruction of justice and lying to investigators were considered BAD behavior.

Oh, wait. They must be talking about Scooter's good behavior in prison.

No... He isn't IN prison, yet.

Hmmmm... Smell that? Yep, that's the Bush Administration, alright.

According to CNN...

"A commutation is distinct from a pardon, which is a complete eradication of a conviction record -- making it the same as if the person has never been convicted. Bush has only commuted the jail term which means that the conviction remains on Libby's record and he must still pay a $250,000 fine."


Awwww.... Poor Scooter. Where on earth will he find all that money. I mean, it's not like he has friends who are getting kickbacks from Haliburton or anything.

CNN continues...

"Commutations are rarely granted, says CNN's chief legal analyst, Jeffrey Toobin. A commutation is a total right of the president and it cannot be challenged by any attorney or court, he said."


Cannot be challenged by any attorney or court?!? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN OUR COUNTRY?!? DOES THIS FRIGHTEN ANYONE ELSE AS MUCH AS IT FRIGHTENS ME?!?

Apparently, President Bush had to act quickly on this because, as CNN explains...


"Earlier Monday, a federal appeals court unanimously ruled that Libby could not delay serving his sentence, which would have put Libby just weeks away from surrendering to a prison.

In a written statement commuting the jail sentence, issued hours after Monday's ruling, Bush called the sentence "excessive," and suggested that Libby will pay a big enough price for his conviction."


So, the federal appeals court rules UNANIMOUSLY that Scooter has to "do the time" since he "did the crime," and our not-so-beloved Commander in Chief takes a couple of HOURS to raise his middle finger to the court, the congress and the entire U.S. of A. by commuting Libby's sentence.

An action that once again has our President telling US ALL, "Georgie Knows Best."

President Bush is quoted as saying...

"The consequences of his felony conviction on his former life as a lawyer, public servant, and private citizen will be long-lasting."


Boo Fucking Hoo.

He lied.

He put lives in jeopardy.

But since he basically took a bullet for Cheney in this one, Bush will protect him as best he can.

And the worst part - - if there can be a "worst part" - - is, as CNN explains...

"The commutation does nothing to prevent Libby from appealing his conviction. And if the appeal fails or is still in process at the end of Bush's term, there is nothing to prevent the President from granting Libby a full pardon before he leaves office."


So, this is Georgie's way of giving Scooter a little breathing room - - 567 days of "breathing room" - - until the end of The G.W. Years, so that just before January 20, 2009, Bush can pardon Mr. Libby and both of them can ride off into the sunset, free and easy.

Happy Birthday, America.

Sieg Heil!

4 comments:

Aaron said...

Maybe we should all just start moving into our attics now...

If this IS like the Third Reich, I'll be interested to see how they turn on each other when it REALLY unravels. And I wonder where Ann Coulter is hiding her skin-lampshades...

Stephen Rader said...

Aaron - I can just see Ann dressed like that Nazi chick from the third INDIANA JONES movie.

I'm sure the image of Ann dressed like that has given a woody to Cheney on more than one occasion.

Aaron said...

Since Cheney is basically MADE of wood, that's not such a stretch. And Ann dressed as a "chick" of any kind is a HUGE stretch. She looks like a transvestite hooker at the best of times. And those are obviously rare for her...

Stephen Rader said...

Aaron - Oh, Ann. Bless her heart.

And I mean that in the full Southern translation which means...

"She's so stupid."