Tuesday, July 10, 2007

TMI Tuesday

Here's my second go at TMI Tuesday. I kinda like these questions...

1. Who was your childhood hero?

It's the ultimate cliche, but it's true - - my father.

His humor, his stories, his laugh, his optimistic attitude.

This is my father's answer almost every time someone asks how he's doing...
"I'm great, but I'm gettin' over it!"

Which doesn't mean that's he's going from "great" to "depressed." It means, he's going from "great" to "Hot damn!"

When I was a kid, I was always amazed at how my father could talk to anyone - - rich or poor, old or young, even gay or straight. He could charm anyone and knew everybody. There wasn't a city we traveled to where we didn't have at least one person per day shouting his name from across the street.

When I was with him, I knew that nothing and nobody could hurt me.

And he made me happy. He made me laugh. Still does.

This picture says it all.

2. Have you ever had sex with someone who has a myspace page?

What is this "myspace" you speak of?

Real Answer? I'm 37 years old. What do you think?!?

3. What fantasies have you openly told your partner about?

First things first. I need to OBTAIN a partner before I can scare / intrigue him with my fantasies. That is, if by "partner" you mean someone who's around for the long haul. And if by "long haul," you mean more than 4 hours..

No, the types of "partners" I have these days are of the "hourly" persuasion...

...okay, okay, minute-ly... geez...

...and since I don't know their names (first or last), I won't be seeing them again and they won't be meeting me parents, I "openly" tell them fantasies that would make Mr. Rourke close down The Island.

4. Have you ever said you love someone but didn't mean it?

No. I mean and have meant "I love you" every single time I've said it.

I even mean it more times than I say it, which means I need to say it more.

5. Have you ever woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you?

Nope. But for over two years, I woke up beside someone I desperately wished I had never met. Does that count?

Bonus (as in optional): Do you remember a time when you were having sex that you smile or even laugh about now? Do tell....

Okay, but you asked for it. It was with the skank from question #5.

I was giving it to him really good one morning - - completely unaware that he was "getting it" from half the guys in the city and most of the closet cases in the surrounding suburbs when I was at work or on stage. Though, he wasn't getting it as good as I gave it to him. Especially on this particular morning.

We were in his favorite position - - facing each other with him on his back with his legs over my shoulders (i.e. "he's a lazy tramp and I'm doing all the work") - - and though he's loving it immensely and moaning like Kim Cattrall in PORKY'S, he decides he's gonna get cocky with me (pardon the pun).

So, with a sneer on his face, he said...

"Is that the best you've got?"

Since it most decidedly was not the best I had, I gave him quite a bit more than I knew he could take.

And the next sound that came out of his mouth is something I vividly remember.

The memory of that sound makes me laugh every time I think about it.


jer said...

is that the best you've got? :)

Stephen Rader said...

Jer - Don't make me make you make that sound! :)

Aaron said...

Did it sound like a lawn mower? Because I HATE that noise...

Stephen Rader said...

Aaron - No. Cause a lawn mower sounds butch. :)

Lance Noe said...

Not to take your thunder, and maybe i told you this already but to answer #5.

I had sex with a puerta rican once that thought he was a porn star, you know all "Yeah baby, you like, take it like that, yeah oh god, i am the best..." anyway, i was trying to hold in the laughter but failed miserably when he came and said " yeah baby, yeah take my SSSEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!


Stephen Rader said...

Lance - You DID tell me that story at O'Hare and I love it!!! I can hear you saying "SEED" as I type this and it's making me laugh my ass off!!!