Thursday, July 26, 2007

Ian Roberts: My New Imaginary Boyfriend

Today at lunch, my friend Michael Pacas introduced me to someone...

My New Imaginary Boyfriend...

Ian Roberts


Okay, what are the words I'm looking for to describe him... laying there with that snarl and those shorts and that "Yeah, you know you want it" attitude of his... hmmmm....


Fucking HOT!!!

And the more you learn about him, the fuckin' hotter he gets. As if it's possible for him to actually GET HOTTER.

You see, Ian is a former Australian rugby player. That automatically increases your "Hot Factor" by 1,000 points right there.

5,000 if you wore a jockstrap when you played rugby. 10,000 if you never washed it.

And then his wikipedia page says that...

Ian finished playing professional football in 1998 and began studying at the National Institute of Dramatic Art (NIDA) in Sydney. He served on the National Rugby League Judiciary in 2001.

Well known in the Sydney gay circle for some time, Ian came out publicly in 1995, appearing in magazines and on television over the following year. The rugby league world was generally very supportive with other players commenting that it was important to be "true to yourself" while The Footy Show principals Paul Vautin, Peter Sterling and Steve Roach appeared in a poster campaign against homophobia conducted by the Lesbian and Gay Anti-Violence Project.

So, Ian came out of the closet BEFORE he left professional sports. And no one died. And no one got cornholed when they dropped the soap in the shower. Imagine that.

For the most part here in the U.S., our stars and professional athletes wait to come out of the closet AFTER their careers are over...

...or after they've been caught giving a hummer to a some guy named Mario in a Central Park Men's Room.

So, kudos to Ian for coming out while he played the game. "Hot Factor" gain of 5,000 points.

And last but not least, Ian had a role in SUPERMAN RETURNS!

That's him on the far right... with arms bigger than those Kryptonite uber-crystals behind him. Yum.

"Hot Factor" increase of 20,000 points!

Ian Roberts wins. Hands down. Rugby shorts down.

Dear Lord, I have died and gone to Heaven.


And the view from here is FINE!!!

Thank to Homorific for posting the pics.

9 comments:

Lance Noe said...

Ian Roberts, reason 5, 672 of why you need to come visit me in OZ!!!

Stephen Rader said...

Lance - I'm there, baby. I am THERE!!

Master Aaron said...

Oh, HER! She followed Me all over Sydney a few years ago, but I wouldn't give her the time of day. She just couldn't keep those nose hairs trimmed...all that money spent on waxing, yet the entire effect was marred by her complete refusal to do a little calculated snipping...and how do YOU know no one got cornholed in the shower, Rader? It happens, 'ya know, cornholing happens, especially in showers, especially in Australia...I have to go now...

Stephen Rader said...

Master Aaron - If cornholing goes on in showers with men who look like Mr. Roberts, I will not only visit Lance, I will be MOVING IN with Lance!

Michael said...

Hard 2 type and tuch weener at same time........

Stephen Rader said...

Michael - And you're at work when you're doing that. Impressive!

Tom Gaylord said...

i danced with him once! at a mardi gras in sydney..... but he ended up snogging my friend marty ive never forgiven him

Stephen Rader said...

Tom Gaylord - If your friend cock-blocked you from taking home The Grand Prize of Mr. Ian Roberts and making sweet love to him 5 ways from Tuesday, you should NEVER forgive him!

But you danced with him. Hot! I would probably give my left nut for a chance to dance with him... no, chance that to shower with him... in a locker room... yum...

Love your blog, by the way. So friggin' funny.

Anonymous said...

Ian lives in my building in Moore Park Syd, still massive and hot and I love that he uses his garage as an ART?? studio which has lots of crazy blinking lights going 24/7 and he always has his shirt off when he goes down there, the only problem is he is only into Twinks and has had the same looking boy on his arms skinny and blonde or skinny and mousey brown for the entire time I have been in Syd, I always wondered how he never got wood when he tackle those footy mates, He is one of the Hottest men on the Planet..Take me already Ian.