Tuesday, December 12, 2006

You Better Watch Out...

A couple of years ago, my mother was killing some time doing browsing around The Dollar General Store in Seymour, TN near her home. Mama and I LOVE The Dollar General Store.

For you judgemental bitches who think that The Dollar General Store is just for redneck, white trash...

A) You're correct
B) You don't understand that you can find FABULOUS kitsch there... like baseball caps that say "Got Jesus?" on them. I own one of those. Its flawless.
C) To quote Ms. Dolly Parton, "Get outta my closet if your own's full of trash!"

At any rate, it was this time of year, a week or so before Christmas, and my mother saw this cute little 3 year-old girl with her mean-looking 5 or 6 year-old brother in the toy aisle.

In my mind, this is what the little boy looked like:

The little girl was looking at a doll and said, "Wow. That's pretty!" and her brother said, "That's ugly. You're stupid!"

This little exhange repeated itself a couple of times. Everything the little girl looked at and commented on, her brother would not only tell her how ugly it was but how dumb she was for even thinking it was pretty in the first place.

The parents for these two were nowhere in sight and my mama had about had enough, so she walked over to them and said, "Little boy, if you don't start being nice to your sister, Santa Claus isn't going to bring you any toys this Christmas."

The little boy looked up at my mother and said, very plainly but to the point:

"Lady, I don't give a fuck about the fat man."

Put that in your KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS and smoke it.

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