Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Wishful Drinking

She is the author of the following quotes:

"Instant gratification takes too long."
“As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.”
“You can't find any true closeness in Hollywood, because everybody does the fake closeness so well.”
“Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”
"I'm having my DNA fumigated. "
"I don't want life to imitate art. I want life to be art. "

In movies, her characters have said:

“Will somebody get this giant walking carpet out of my way?”
"Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi; you're my only hope.”

And she has said this about one of her movie characters:

"Leia follows me like a vague smell. "

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you one of my idols: Ms. Carrie Fisher!

Tonight, she opens her new one-woman show at the Geffen Playhouse in Los Angeles. The title of the show is WISHFUL DRINKING. (<----- Check out the icon on the Geffen Playhouse link - - its a martini glass filled with liquid and inside the glass is a toothpick skewering an olive AND the head of Princess Leia- - hy-larious!) The description of the show, obviously written by Ms. Fisher herself, reads as follows: "Like her own life, with no intermission, Ms. Fisher finally comes clean about Star Relations, 'Star Wars' and other Celestial Bodies" in WISHFUL DRINKING.

The show offers Fisher's insights and experiences that she has accumulated in her life and career. Along the way, she'll touch on her unusual childhood as the daughter of Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fisher, the rise to movie icon as Princess Leia, her marriage to Paul Simon, the release of her hit movie 'Postcards From the Edge' starring Meryl Streep, as well as drug addiction, bipolar disorder, motherhood, having a child with a man who forgot to tell her he was gay, waking up next to a man who died not only in his sleep . . . but in mine, and her ultimate triumph over adversity."

In her latest novel, THE BEST AWFUL, the first chapter begins just after Suzanne Vale's husband has told her he is gay and has left her for his new boyfriend. The name of the chapter tells you EXACTLY why I am in love with Carrie Fisher.



Anonymous said...

Stephen you will enjoy this bullletin post by a freind of mine Desiree

"Dear Alcohol,

First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around the holidays, hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences:

1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night?

2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian meatball and some stale chips (washed down with wine and topped off with a Kit Kat after a few cheese curls and chili cheese fries)? I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time.

3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black and blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me.

Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock.

4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting
ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the 3 p.m. hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin b, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should
be minimal and in no way interfere with my daily activities.

Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now and would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above and address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later
than Wednesday 3p.m. (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions and hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.

Thank you,

Your Biggest Fan

P.S. Things that are difficult to say when drunk:

1. Innovative

2. Preliminary

3. Proliferation

4. Cinnamon

Things that are very difficult to say when drunk:

1. Specifically

2. British Constitution

3. Passive-aggressive disorder

Things that are downright impossible to say when drunk:

1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.

2. Nope, no more beer for me.

3. Sorry, but you're really not my type.

4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?

5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing!"

From Kristie

Alanda said...

That's hilarious & Kristie's comment is hilarious too! :)

Stephen said...

Kristi - I love this post from your friend Desiree. Those "Things that are downright impossible to say when drunk" remind me of that Jeff Foxworthy joke:

What the last thing a drunk, redneck says before he dies?

"Hey, ya'll. Watch this!!!"