Friday, November 10, 2006

Googleganger

Windy City Times' NIGHTSPOTS MAGAZINE recently invited me to be their guest in a section of their weekly gay reader where 5 random questions are asked to 5 different people (4 of their regular staff plus me, the Special Guest Star...sort of like being Ann B. Davis on THE BRADY BUNCH...for the week). We don't see each others' responses until they're printed and the random answers are fun.

The week I was Ann B. Davis, one of the questions was, "Are you mechanically inclined?" My response was, "I got it in there, didn't I?"

You should know that, even at the bottom rung of local celebrity where I currently find myself - - and I got here by fucking my way to the bottom rung thankyouverymuch - - I consulted my friend Philip and he was my joke writer for the response above. Although, the line originated from an old HOLLYWOOD SQUARES answer from Paul Lynde...

Peter Marshall: "Paul, can you get a pound of feathers out of a chicken?"
Paul Lynde: "I got 'em in there, didn't I?"

Long story short (too late), I am not mechanically nor am I technically inclined. Thank God for Mike or I would still be on dial-up...with a rotary dial kitchen phone with a 25 foot cord!!!!

That said, I'm not sure how we got around to it, but Philip and I were one day playing around with the "image" button on Google and found that if did a search for our name, not only did we have pictures of us come up, but we also had pictures of other people with our names!!! There people don't look like us, so they're not dopplegangers - - this isn't some Samantha / Serena BEWITCHED thing going on - - but they do have our exact names, so Philip named them Googlegangers!!!

Here is a sampling of my personal googlegangers (It starts off very well):

Steve Rader, Hot College Athlete

Swim Team...sometimes shaves his head...wears speedos well...

Is it wrong to want to date your googleganger?
Before you answer that, check out my other options:

Steven Rader, Real Estate Agent

Steve Rader, High School Principle

Steven Rader, Certified Public Accountant



There's even another friggin' theatre person...

Stephen Rader, Professor of Theatre



Not fair! I have a B.A. and he has a Ph. friggin' D!
And more hair than I do!!!

Not only is there another theatre person with my name,
there's also another white trash redneck with my name!

Steven Rader, Deerhunter

My googleganger is so proud of the buck he killed. What an accomplishment! He used a rifle that could probably take down a rhinoceros to shoot an animal with the greatest defense mechanism in the wild kingdom: when they get scared, they stand still! Really hard to kill an animal that stands perfectly still when you scare it.

And yet, of all my googlegangers, I would probably date him. Or Speedo Boy. Hmmm...white trash or swim team? There are pros and cons...

4 comments:

Alanda said...

I just looked for mine & all I found was me. What does that tell you?

Stephen said...

Alanda, that tells you that you are truly a one-of-a-kind...whereas I'm like a knock-off Prada bag - - there's a lot of me's out there!

Alanda said...

not even...Prada my ass...it means your name is loved and shared more! xoxo

Stephen said...

Its not my "name" that's loved and shared more...(insert sly, sexual grin here)