Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Uli, V, the Fudge Pack & Parades that Suck

Last night was the official High Holy Day of Homosexuality - - All Hallow's Eve.

Philip and I met outside of my apartment to walk over to the parade and then hit Hydrate with Eric and Dan. Philip created a flowy, multi-patterned dress that he wore with flip-flops and his hair pulled back to attend the festivities as Uli from PROJECT RUNWAY. I had on all black (shock), black boots, a black cape, black gloves, a black wig cut into a page boy (no, not a Mark Foley page boy...) and a Guy Fawkes mask and I WAS in V FOR VENDETTA. Philip and I found it interesting that half of the people on the street got his costume and half got mine. Of course, most of the ones "getting" my costume were goth lesbians and straight black men. Maybe they were on the down low...I unfortunately didn't get to find out because Philip/Uli had on less material than JLo typically wears on the red carpet, so had to hurry into Hydrate very early in the evening.

(Special Note: This is only my second posting and I've now mentioned JLo twice. I don't own a JLo cd, I've never seen a JLo movie and believe it or not, I rarely if ever watch Entertainment Tonight or Access Hollywood or crap like that, so I have no idea why I'm on this JLo run. Should I consult a physician about this?)

What we DID see of the Halsted Halloween Parade severely sucked. Why can't we homos get it together and make these parades pop?!?! I mean, all we need is one queen dressed like Julie McCoy with a headset, a clipboard and an attitude to put everyone in the street, arrange them so that there is some semblance of a theme, choreograph sections to avant guarde Moby music and make sure they follow each other quickly and orderly down the three fucking blocks of the parade route. The parade was slow, there was no rhyme or reason to any of it and it started FAR too late.

And will someone PLEASE tell the drag queens who were on the mic at Halsted and Cornelia that they are not funny, not glamorous and that keeping their mics set on the 11 setting of a 10 level amplifier does not hide the fact that they have no talent, no skill and no sense to shut the fuck up and let the crowd enjoy the music and the passersby. To quote Woody Allen in ANNIE HALL, "What I wouldn't give for a sock filled with manure."

Hydrate was heaven. Lovely Eric was there with cute Dan. And Joe showed up as Jake Shears from THE SCISSOR SISTERS - - very sexy. Then, Mark was there which made the first time the Fudge Pack had been together in quite awhile. You see, like the Sinatra Rat Pack and the Ally Sheedy Brat Pack, we fags were hanging out quite a bit and decided that we had become some strange queer version of the the Rat/Brat Pack...and what else to call that but the Fudge Pack!?!?! I am the Sinatra of the Fudge Pack...cause I'm the oldest...and I fucked Eva Garner...


Alanda said...

I miss you. Sorry I've been so MIA lately. I'm kinda drowning over here...


Stephen said...

Ms. Coon - - I love you more than I love almost anything...except my new comic book collection...because I live alone... I've got a little something from my trip to Hilton Head that will make you feel better. Its from Ms. Paula Deen!! :)