Thursday, January 07, 2010

My New Favorite Caption Contest #45

Okay, here's the deal...

I will be more attentive to my little caption contest and will A) choose a winner for each contest and then B) post a new picture for everyone to caption in a timely fashion (a.k.a. "before Halley's comet returns")

That's not a New Year's resolution. It's not a promise. It's not even a goal. It's just something I'm going to put out into the universe with the hope that somehow, it will magically become true, even though I will do absolutely nothing to make that happen. (Ooo, I am callin' me out, ain't I?)

I think certain people call that "prayer." Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Now, the last picture I posted for the #44 Caption Contest (back in July - - don't think of me as lazy, think of the contest as bi-annual) was bizarre little comic-con photo that once again provided Philip with the ultimate canvas for another brilliant caption...

"There were a few touch-and-go years there
when Drew Barrymore would date ANYTHING!"


A brilliantly funny caption that works on so many different levels, none of which I am able to explain. I just know that it's funny. Like the letter "k." And the word "pleather." And Glenn Beck crying.

Speaking of huge dicks, here's the picture for the #45 Caption Contest...



I don't know what IT is, I don't know who HE is, but I do know that if I saw something like that dangling out of a wall, I would do exactly what this man is doing...

I'd touch it. And if it started getting bigger, I'd marry it.

14 comments:

Nathanael Rey said...

I already DID marry it!

"Lorena Bobbit's Trophy Room"

Polt said...

"And when I saw this come through the gloryhole, I just KNEW I had to have it, and since I had that butcher knife handy...well, the rest, as they say, is history."

"You've heard of bronzing kid's baby shoes when they outgrow them? Well, my ex-lover was rather well hung...and I knew I was never gonna outgrow it, so...:

HUGS....

Doctor K said...

"Proof positive that the phrase 'African Pygmy Tribe' is a misnomer..."

dbb said...

"Iwonder if I polish it fast enough, will it squirt maple syrup?)

Java said...

That guy reminds me of my Grandpapa with his big belly, glasses case in the shirt pocket, and general lack of sartorial attention. I can even smell the Old Spice.

Michael said...

I can't think of a caption because I'm laughing too hard.....

Mike said...

I'm not sure I even want to rise to the challenge -- because Phillip's one for the last time I think qualifies him as the all time champion of this contest.

Mike said...

"Professor Johnson proudly displays the fossil that proves his once-considered-crackpot theory of why Neanderthal man really went extinct."

Mark in DE said...

"If you liked it then you shoulda put a cockring on it."

philip said...

I think Mark in DE's is pretty great. But in the interest of trying. . .

-We still don't know what it is or what it was doing in Dad's colon, but thank heaven the doctor let us keep it.

- There's only one word to describe Uncle Herby's private art collection: touching.

-The official White House bust of former President G.W. Bush was erected yesterday...

-Elsewhere in the Smithsonian, the rest of Bea Arthur.

-Cuz I got one hand in ma pocket. /
And the other one is rubbing a wall schlong.

-Honestly, I don't know what my wife sees in it.

-Harvey could hardly wait to bring it home and mount it.

-I miss the hell outta that dog.

-No,Dad, I said I needed a wall CLOCK!

cb said...

I lost it in Viet Nam.

Nick said...

At the risk of being a one trick pony . .um . ."No one had the heart to tell grandpa it wasn't a real boy"

I'm just saying . . .

Otherwise I vote for "I miss the hell outta that dog." That's the one that made me spit my coffee.

philip said...

Oooo Oooo, I like "no one had the heart to tell grandpa. . ."

You've never had a double headed caption winner, have you?

That would be something.

Prospero said...

"I shot this in my pajamas. What it was doing in my pajamas, is between me and it."