"It Will Stimulate His Psyche and Stir Up His Libido"

Over at i09, I just read that, "cosmic rays are hitting Earth at a much higher rate than any time in the last 50 years."

Cosmic rays. Very "Fantastic Four."

So, if anybody knows where I can find Chris Evans, please let me know.

I want to be within spitting distance ("How vivid.") of Chris when the cosmic rays turn him into The Human Torch and his clothes are burned away, leaving Mr. Evans in all his naked glory.








Actually, I don't care what super power Chris is given.

Maybe the cosmic rays will just turn his pecs into whipped cream and transform his nipples into cherries.

Works for me.

Trust me, whatever Chris' body turns into, I'll be ready for it.

Just think of me as the Matter-Eater Lad of gay porn.

Which is, of course, an oxymoron

(People who don't follow comic books are SO lost right now...)