Monday, September 07, 2009

"Undercover Angel, Midnight Fantasy"

On this Day of Labor, allow me to be your Gayngel.

For the record, I'm your gay angel Kelly.

I'd like to be your gay angel Jill, but my hair, even when I had more of it, simply will not feather.

And I'm sorry, but if you want me to be your gay angel Sabrina, you can lick my raw, blistered nutsack.

When I was a boy and we would play Charlie's Angels (Yes, I was THAT gay THAT early), I always had to be Sabrina. And I hated it. Why did I have to be the lesbian Angel?!?

And don't tell me that Sabrina wasn't a lesbian. Everybody knew Bri was a lesbian. Especially Charlie. Watch any episode from the first season and you'll hear Charlie say something like...

"Jill, you'll be a high-priced call girl. Kelly, you'll be a sophisticated, runway fashion model. And Sabrina, you're a truck driver. Sixteen wheeler."


Dyke. Through and through. Not that there's anything wrong with that. It's just that, as a little gay boy entering into a fantasy world of make-believe with my friends, the last thing I wanted to pretend to be was ANOTHER GAY PERSON!!! Can't I at least PRETEND that I'm straight? For a fucking afternoon?!? Oy...

So here I am. Your gay angel Kelly. Ready for action.


4 comments:

Java said...

Oh, I need a designated homosexual to regularly check on me. I can get lost in the milieu without that accountability and fabulousity quotient.

I love it! Gay ex machina is my new favorite phrase.

Wonder Man said...

so crazy

cb said...

I always sort of pictured you as the gay angel Bosley...

Prospero said...

God, you are SO gay... Love ya, Baby!