Wednesday, September 02, 2009

"I Had to Stop Her From Screaming"

This is Roger Stephens. Prospero at Caliban's Revenge introduced me to him.

No, he didn't introduce me to Roger personally. I would need to be incredibly drunk for that to happen (that scowl, that nose and that SuperCut are SO not doing it for me). And Roger would need to be released from jail.

You see, Roger was shopping in a Wal-Mart in Georgia and became upset because a 2 year old girl was making too much noise. So, he told the mother of the child, if she wouldn't make the child be quiet, he would.

And since the child did not become quiet, he slapped the little girl. In the face. Because nothing says "Valium" to a 2 year old like a slap in the face. From a grown man.

After reading this story and looking through the pictures on People of Walmart, I've come to the conclusion that certain Wal-Marts are actually trapped inside a Fellini film. Think about it. Think about your local Wal-Mart. Yeah, THAT one...

You know it's true that if you were shopping in that Wal-Mart and you saw a clown walking down the aisle dragging a dead goat on a leash carrying a sign that said, "Free Tibet!," you would wave and say, "Hi, Herb!" That is, if you even noticed Herb at all.

Why? Because the wrong and the bizarre are the everyday and the normal inside a Wal-Mart.

Thank God, in Roger's case, the police still have jurisdiction inside of those discount emporiums owned, operated and directed by Mr. "8 1/2."

P.S. If you see a "Mr. 8 1/2" on Manhunt, it's really "Lil' Boy 4 1/4." Just sayin'...


Prospero said...

You know you've wanted to smack that child yourself, but some semblance of your humanity keeps you from doing so.

As for Walmart, I spent an hour at the new one by me (the country's largest, by the way) and couldn't believe the variety and scariness of the folks I encountered there. It reminds me of that old meme about the woman who was quoted as saying "I like (the new Dollar Store). You don't have to get dressed up like at the Walmart." Yikes!

Damien NZ said...

PS Love the clue shout out.

LOVE that film.

Anonymous said...

My friend David has always pointed out that when life is at it's lowest, one should go to the Walmart and bask in the fact that they are the most attractive person in that big box. It's the little things.

Also, the title here made me smile.

AJohnP said...

I can't bring myself to enter a Wal-Mart anymore...they're just too, too frightening for the delicate flower that I am. I'm a Target gal all the way.

Thanks for the 'Clue' shout-out....I love that move to bits.

cb said...

Personally, the only thing I find wrong with this is the guy didn't also slap the parent.