Tuesday, September 22, 2009

"Wha Uh Oh!"

The clip below is why I never video taped myself singing and dancing when I was a kid.

Well, I didn't video tape myself singing and dancing because of my belief that something like what happens at the end of this video would occur, and also because I couldn't (and still can't) really dance, per se.

I'm sort of what you'd call a "mover." I'm actually more a "Patti LuPone."

Not that I share her brilliant, machine gun vibrato, but I do share her style of singing a verse and chorus down center, retreating to the back of the stage during the dance break, and then returning to center to finish the song with a huge money note after "those people" have done their thing.

And by "those people," I mean those barely-pubescent zygotes with their crushed-up toes, hot asses, high cheek bones and Adonis-line waists. The dancers. The REAL dancers.

Who? Me? Bitter much? Absolutely.

So, video taping myself dancing at ANY age is not something that I would do.

Besides, I've always been too busy video taping myself fucking every Tom, Dick and Harry (or getting fucked by every hairy Tom's dick) that I cruised on the street or the information superhighway. And my movement on those pieces of film is quite enjoyable, according to the comments on my XTube page. Just sayin'...

5 comments:

Java said...

Dad, I've got something to tell you...

Stephen said...

I understand...
My audition cards would often say-
"moves well for a non-dancer"... I like the idea of being danced around & maybe carried by chorus boys, or they can sing my character's name as I kick-step down a stairway.

I saw Wishful Drinking at Seattle Rep. Amazing woman.

I think we might do well as Mame & Vera, with maybe your friend Caliban as Gooch.

Mark in DE said...

"My name is Kurt and I'll be auditioning for the role of kicker."

ROFL - brilliant writing!!

cb said...

I loved this episode!

dirkmancuso said...

This show just keeps getting better and better.

Fantastic episode.