Tuesday, September 22, 2009

"Wha Uh Oh!"

The clip below is why I never video taped myself singing and dancing when I was a kid.

Well, I didn't video tape myself singing and dancing because of my belief that something like what happens at the end of this video would occur, and also because I couldn't (and still can't) really dance, per se.

I'm sort of what you'd call a "mover." I'm actually more a "Patti LuPone."

Not that I share her brilliant, machine gun vibrato, but I do share her style of singing a verse and chorus down center, retreating to the back of the stage during the dance break, and then returning to center to finish the song with a huge money note after "those people" have done their thing.

And by "those people," I mean those barely-pubescent zygotes with their crushed-up toes, hot asses, high cheek bones and Adonis-line waists. The dancers. The REAL dancers.

Who? Me? Bitter much? Absolutely.

So, video taping myself dancing at ANY age is not something that I would do.

Besides, I've always been too busy video taping myself fucking every Tom, Dick and Harry (or getting fucked by every hairy Tom's dick) that I cruised on the street or the information superhighway. And my movement on those pieces of film is quite enjoyable, according to the comments on my XTube page. Just sayin'...


Java said...

Dad, I've got something to tell you...

Stephen said...

I understand...
My audition cards would often say-
"moves well for a non-dancer"... I like the idea of being danced around & maybe carried by chorus boys, or they can sing my character's name as I kick-step down a stairway.

I saw Wishful Drinking at Seattle Rep. Amazing woman.

I think we might do well as Mame & Vera, with maybe your friend Caliban as Gooch.

Mark in DE said...

"My name is Kurt and I'll be auditioning for the role of kicker."

ROFL - brilliant writing!!

cb said...

I loved this episode!

Anonymous said...

This show just keeps getting better and better.

Fantastic episode.