Tuesday, September 22, 2009

"If I Could Only Fly"

I'm back.

Last night, I wrote half of a post about my vacation, the difficulty of being back in the South - - a place I love and yet, a place where I've never felt like I fit in.

I've always felt "other" there. Always.

But just now, a little girl on Oprah (a "mermaid girl," so watch your back Wendy Williams, because Oprah's bringin' back the crazy) brought up, out of the blue, that her parents are separated and in the process of getting a divorce.

The audience laughed. The father, though, said what every child of divorced parents wants to hear, regardless of their age - - that he and his wife had agreed to remain friends and that their daughter was the most important thing.

And then the mother looked at the daughter and said, "We're still what?," and the daughter said, "Ohana." The mother replied, "Always."

Oprah asked what it meant, and the little girl said...

"Ohana means family and family means no one gets left behind or forgotten."

Which is why I'm crying. Crying so hard. Because I love my family so much. And I wish I fit in more, was more like them.

But I also know, like this little girl knows, that my family won't ever leave me behind or forget me. Ever. No matter what I do or how different I am.

Yeah. It was one Hell of an emotional vacation. And I wish I was still there. So much.


P.S. If you don't know the song that shares the title of this post, listen to it. It's one of my favorite songs and explains exactly how I feel right now. And often.

9 comments:

Java said...

Oh, Stephen. Big hugs, darlin'.

Project Christopher said...

Sweetie, you (and I for that matter)may not fit in in the South, but we BOTH fit in with our families and I'm sure that your mother and brother would not have you any other way than how you are now.

Also, if the little girl is not Hawaiian, then she's been watching Lilo & Stitch too much and Disney will be contacting Miss Winfrey's lawyers about copyright infringement.

But I do still love the ideals behind Ohana...

Billy Pyle said...

Well, I don't know you, but I sure want to now. You are definitely a sweetheart!

Rebecca Faulkner Jones said...

I wish you felt like you fit in EVERYWHERE. I wish you were 5 years old right now and could grow up again there...I honestly think things would be so different for you. It's amazing how much things change with time. I think you are more accepted there than you realize but given what you've probably experienced there during your lifetime, I would expect you to feel the way you do. You DO have a great family and it's wonderful to see you experiencing such a great relationship with them. Lots of love...
Rebecca

mrpeenee said...

I think it's better to love them and not be there than to NOT love them and be stuck in the middle of them.

Jane Blass said...

Stevie: I speak only for myself, but Lord knows I feel you! Just went back to TN for my 30th reunion over Labor Day. It's like I was brought up in a foreign country. Let me be clear, I wouldn't change my family for anything, they are amazing people! I'm talking about the whole atmosphere of repression down there. It's hard to see the ones you love limiting themselves sometimes because of the unwritten rules there. The pressure not to ruin the homogenous society with your personal opinion is huge. And my parents are leftist intellectuals. I have grown to hate the part the church plays in this brain washing. It's HARD to be there for a visit and keep your mouth shut.

D said...

Ok-- I also saw this episode and can we just talk for a minute about the teaser for Thursday's Oprah show?--- What crazed producer thought that doing a split show with Jay-Z and Barbara Streisand was a good idea?... and do you think she knew that she would be sharing the hour episode with him? I doubt she would have agreed if so.

Jane Blass said...

Hope they still have that microphone she had them paint white on her last visit!

Mark in DE said...

SISTER: I know the feelin'.