Thursday, May 03, 2007

Spidey: Then and Now

Six hours from now, I will be sitting "with all those wonderful people out there in the dark" and devouring my Diet Coke and large, buttered popcorn combo at the first Chicago showing of SPIDER-MAN 3.

The first Spider-Man movie came out 5 years ago today. I remember it well because it was one of the first dates I had with The Skank.

It was his birthday and we went to see our first movie. As is usually the case with me, I wasn't carrying much cash because I assumed everything could be purchased with my debit card, and when the concession area only accepted cash, I couldn't afford to buy more than one small drink and one small popcorn.

And of course, The Skank didn't offer to help pay at all. In fact, he was really pissed that I couldn't offer him more than the small drink and small popcorn.

I felt bad. He felt superior. The entire basis of our relationship was born.

He always acted so "above it all." Still does. Even though he was born in a small town, just like me and has parents who at their core are simple folk, just like mine.

But where I embrace my family and my roots, The Skank deflects it. As my mother said within minutes of meeting him...

"Well, he thinks he's somethin' he ain't, doesn't he?"

Leave it to my mother to take a complex relationship that nearly destroyed me emotionally, physically, spiritually and socially and boil it down to one simple sentence. A sentence that should have served as a gigantic warning sign screaming at me to get the Hell away from him.

Tonight, I'm sure he's celebrating his birthday by getting too drunk and thus allowing himself to be overly cruel to anyone and everyone in his path.

And tonight, I get to watch SPIDER-MAN 3 with Ted and Star - - two incredible friends who treat me with more love, care and respect than my former boyfriend ever did.

So, The Skank and I will both be doing something we love tonight. But unlike 5 years ago, we won't be destroying each other in the process.

Thank God for therapy.


Aaron said...

I think we must have dated the same Skank! Only mine insisted on paying for everything all the time, made me "beholden" to him and used THAT to feel superior. And as a reason never to pick up after himself. Or shower.

The things you find out (too late) when you start dating...

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

"Thank God for therapy."

And thank God when it works! I'm so glad you are happy again, you deserve it.

Always remember that you are loved.

Stephen Rader said...

Aaron - "The things you find out (too late) when you start dating..."

That, Sir, is the God's honest truth!

Whim - Thank you. I love you, too.

Michael said...

Sweet Jesus, don't let ME ever get on YOUR bad side...... ;)

Maser Aaron said...

I learned so many lessons from that...well, I started to use the word "relationship," but I think I'll change it to "situation." The piece that burns in My mind every day is simply this: When a dear friend introduces you to a new life-attachment, and the newbie doesn't attempt to get to know you, or share anything really personal with you, or even make an attempt to include you in conversations that are happening in the living room of your own apartment, THAT is when you are justified in dabbing a little Chloroform on a washcloth, passing it over your dear friend's nose for a few seconds, throwing him in the back seat of a fast-driving vehicle, and heading for his Momma's house in Tennessee just as quick as the speed limit will allow. Because people you date who don’t want to know your friends are sending a loud & clear message about their intentions that should never be ignored. But this begs the question, “When do you allow those you love to make their own, growth-related mistakes, and when do you run in screaming, ‘WARNING! WARNING! GET IN THE GODDAMN CAR, BITCH?’" I made the former decision, and now I wish I’d made the latter. Five years later the mourning and the hurt continue. Alright, THAT was a little depressing, but I’ve waited a long time to say it. GOD, I hope you liked the movie! (grin)

Stephen Rader said...

Michael - You will never be on my bad side. I save my bad side for people like The Skank.

Master Aaron - For the love of all things Holy, the next time (if there IS a next time) use the Chloroform and get me the Hell out of there!!!!

P.S. The movie was incredible!!!