Tuesday, May 08, 2007

One Queen Visits. One Queen Snubs

When I heard that the Queen of England was visiting the States to celebrate the founding of Jamestown 400 years ago this month, I laughed.

I laughed a horse laugh. A hard one.

I mean, come on. Think of it this way...

Imagine that I'm in a great relationship.

I know it's a stretch, but just go with me, ok?

And then suddenly, my boyfriend leaves me, dumps all my tea in the river, declares himself a "free agent," steals a whole lot of property from some future casino owners, and in no time at all, becomes the most powerful man on the planet...

...albeit with the lowest I.Q. (I'm talking to you, Dubya) but still...

Imagine all that happened. Would I then travel across an ocean to celebrate the anniversary of his leaving me?!?!?!

Fuck no.

I would stay at home, sit on the couch in my underwear and watch Helen Mirren in THE QUEEN while eating a gallon of Cold Stone Creamery Cake Batter Ice Cream.

That said, the pictures that are popping up from the visit of Liz 2: Electric Boogaloo are absolutely priceless.

Ray over at Super Underwear Perverts posted these. In keeping with my earlier theme, I call these two photos...

When Georgie Met Lizzie

And while we're at it, did you hear that Helen Mirren TURNED DOWN Queen Elizabeth's invitation to dine at Buckingham Palace?!?!?

Ms. Mirren gave some excuse about "filming a movie" and being unable to change her schedule.

Helen, come on - - it's the friggin' Queen of England!!!

Can't your role in (no joke - - this is what Ms. Mirren is currently filming) NATIONAL TREASURE II: BOOK OF SECRETS wait a damn day for dinner with Liz at The Palace?

I realize that ones of tens of people saw the first NATIONAL TREASURE movie, but can't you wave your Oscar around a little and say to the producers...

"Hey, Mr. Producer. I'm talkin' to you, Sir.

Me and my good friend OSCAR here will be taking a few days off to pop a squat with the QUEEN OF ENGLAND.

Got a problem with that? Good.

Now, let's talk about my nude scene..."

No, Helen didn't want to do that. I imagine that she just didn't want to dine with Her Ladyship.

The fake Queen disses the real Queen. I so love everything about that.


Aaron said...

It would have been even better if Liz 2 had asked Elton John in Helen's place...so many queens...head spinning...

I love the dour look L2 is shooting Bush in that photo. Can we say "Just barely tolerating you?"

Stephen Rader said...

Aaron - "Just barely tolerating you." is SO right! I felt as if she was just a breath away from screaming "Off with his head!" everytime she had to look at him.

Tony Blair sometimes has that same look when he's with Georgie. That look that says, "What did I do in a past life to deserve being the Laurel to this friggin' Hardy?"

jamie said...

Mirren blowing off the Queen is the most diva-licious moment in the history of diva-licious moments.

And that pic of the Queen and Bush = comedy gold. ;)

Stephen Rader said...

jamie - Amen!! And you have just given me my new favorite word - - "diva-licious!"

I love it!