Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Instant Adoring Boyfriend

My cousin Kristie is quite possibly the kindest, sweetest, most generous, thoughtful and loving person in the entire universe.

She also is WAY friggin' hot!

Now, it may or may not be blatantly obvious, but I've been a little down of late with regards to my status as "The Last Single Gay Man North of The Manson-Nixon Line." Kristie, being kin, knew this intuitively.

Which is why today, I found a package from her in my mail box which contained this dvd...



That's right. Kristie sent me my very own boyfriend in the mail!!!

And he's blonde. And he's British! I know! "Shut the fuck up," right?!?!

Sure, he's virtual and on a disc, but I don't give a damn. I don't have to cook him breakfast or sleep in the wet spot - - I'm happy!

I was laughing so hard when I opened the package, I'm sure that my upstairs neighbor thought that Arnold Horshack from WELCOME BACK, KOTTER had stopped by my apartment for some major yucks.

Kristie knew exactly what to do to cheer me up. She even included the entire maxi-series, JLA: YEAR ONE.


I get a boyfriend AND a massively cool comic IN THE SAME PACKAGE?!!?! How friggin' fan-fuckin'-tastic is that?!?!?


Thank you, Kristie. Thank you so much for the belly laugh when I opened the package, the hilarious dvd, the kick-ass graphic novel and for your overwhelming kindness and generosity. I greatly appreciate this. I love you.

Here's a little snippet of my new boyfriend. Jealous much?



Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, he mentions that I'm in a skirt. It could happen.

15 comments:

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

That is just awesome! And you know what, I am kinda jealous.

Stephen Rader said...

Whim - Hey, I'll share him. I'll gladly burn him... ummm... that doesn't sound so good...

I mean, I'll rip him... ummm... no... that doesn't sound so good, either...

Well, I'll upload him... ooohhhh... I like the sound of that...

Yeah, I'll "upload" him and make sure you get him. How's that?

Lance Noe said...

He could up "LOAD" me any time!

HELLLOOOOOO MR. HOTTIE!!!!!!

Alanda said...

um....what's up with the "big pimps do big things" flashing at the top of your blog???

Michael said...

"The Last Single Gay Man North of The Manson-Nixon Line." ....um....

Kristie, meet Michael, the OLDEST Last Single Gay Man North of the Mason-Dixon Line.

Stephen Rader said...

Lance - Loaded. Definitedly loaded.

Alanda - I have no friggin' idea what the "BIG PIMPS" thing is all about, but when I switched to this new layout, there it was. Let's call it "an attention getter." :)

Michael - You wanna borrow my lovely, new, British boyfriend sometime? Hell, we're supposed to trade some porn... errr.... some "dvds" soon, right?

Alex said...

I saw him first! I saw him first!

David said...

Patience, Mr. Rader, patience...

Stephen Rader said...

Alex - Don't make me take off my ear rings!!!

David - I've been patient. Now I'm like Alicia Bridges I LOVE THE NIGHTLIFE - - "I want some A-ac-TION!"

Michael said...

The "dvd's" are referred to as "Swedish educational films". Now load up your truck and back it up to my door.....and that is NOT a euphomism.....

Stephen Rader said...

Michael - Oh, how I love me those "Swedish educational films."

You know, I've actually... err... "dated" a star from a few of those "Swedish educational film." Good times. MMmmmm...

Anonymous said...

(I promise I'm not selling this; I just thought it pertained to the entry on your new video.) There is also a new book called "Porn for Women". It is full of pictures of hot guys cleaning and telling you how wonderful you are. It was published by a women's group at Cambridge. You chould check it out at
http://www.amazon.com/Women-Cambridge-Womens-Pornography-Cooperative/dp/0811855511/ref=sr_1_9/103-1023116-8297401?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1178901970&sr=8-9

Stephen Rader said...

I love it! Thanks for the suggestion!!!!

This is great. Porn that I can actually have laying out on the coffee table when my mother visits!!!

Anonymous said...

I love you to! I'm so glad I could cheer you up (by the way you have been in a dress before and as usual you looked fabulous). We'll go out and paint the town when I come up in June.

And thanks for the wonderful compliments.
Love
Kristie

Stephen Rader said...

Kristie - We will most definitely paint the town when you're in Chicago in June. I can't wait!!!

Thank you again for the wondeful gifts.