Tuesday, June 17, 2008

TMI Tuesday

A highly sexualized TMI Tuesday.

1. What's your favorite color of lingerie?

I'm going with black. For the obvious reason.

Wait... If you've got skin hanging out over the sides of your skimpy, black lingerie like so much muffin top, is the color black still slimming?

2. Do you have a porn collection?

Is the Pope a gay Nazi?

He wears big hats, a sparkly dress and was a member of the Hitler Youth. And as you can see from the picture, when he walks into a church his gold lamé purse catches fire.

So, the answer is "Yes," I have a porn collection. A big one. Probably not as big as the Pope's, but still...

3. Do you have any fetishes?

The proper question would be what fetishes DON'T I have. The ones I don't have are few and far between.

I'm not into that whole diaper thing. Or the whole furry thing.

Once you've walked in on your father in a Magilla Gorilla costume having sex with your stepmother in a diaper, those fetishes de-sexualize pretty damn quickly.

4. What is your favorite place to have sex?

Outdoors. Definitely. Nothing like the feel of the sun and wind on your skin, alongside of a tongue and everything else you've got going on you and in you.

Add to that the risk of getting caught and everything is heightened.

The opportunity for outdoor sex rarely presents itself, but when it does, take it. Trust me.

5. Do you like to scratch, bite, pull hair, etc? Do you like having it done to you?

I like it rough, but don't get too crazy on me. And really, try to find hair on my body long enough that you can pull. Come on. Try. I dare you.

Bonus (as in optional): Do you think the number of sexual partners you've had is below average, average, or above average, and how does that make you feel?

About 12 years ago (geez... it was that long ago...), I was working for a touring theatre company. En route to a performance of an HIV/AIDS prevention play at a local high school, the topic of conversation in the van turned to sex. As it always did.

I was the only gay man in the group, so when the topic turned to "number of sexual partners," the big, straight stud of a ladies man in the company asked me to tell my number first.

I told him that I really didn't know a specific number, but (and this is 12 years ago, remember) that I would say it was around 65 to 80.

He was stunned. Literally stunned. His jaw actually hung open. He asked if I was serious and I said yes. I asked what his number was. He said, feebly, "Three." I said...

"Three? I had sex with three different people in one day. Just last week."

I wonder what that straight boy would think if I told him that my current number is easily double (and possibly triple) what my old count was?

As for where my number places me in the spectrum when compared to other gay men, I'd say I'm about average. Some have far more sex than I do, some have much less sex than I do.

Like Goldilocks, I like to think that my number is "just right."


Anonymous said...

Number of sex...

Perhaps he employed the Bill Clinton definition of sexual intercourse, and undercut his score. 0_o.

Bunny said...

Black may be slimming, but it also makes me look Elvira-pale. I suppose that's a plus if we're playing vampire games.

Happy TMI!

Polt said...

So when you walked in on your dad and stepmother, was SHE in the diaper, or were you? :)

Not that either answer makes the whole situation any less creepy...


Anonymous said...

Couple of notes...

I've heard that black is slimming, but I have seen a lot of fat black people.

And yeah, the hetties don't get the fourgy thing do they? Was he seriously going to be proud of three? I took calculus and I couldn't calculate my number.

Michael said...

A porn collection I am STILL waiting to borrow/view/own/giggity

Anatomicsd said...

Please tell me that Scat is NOT amongst your fetishes.