Tuesday, June 10, 2008

TMI Tuesday

A highly sexual TMI Tuesday.

1. If you're in love with your partner, does it make the sex better?

Well, it should, theoretically.

Because to me, being in love with someone means that you would be able to share all of your sexual desires with them without judgment or fear of being ridiculed. Being in love should provide you with a safe place, in bed and in life.

But somehow, it's easier to tell a complete stranger what you want sexually. Probably because we don't have very much to lose with a stranger. If they laugh at our fetishes, we can show them the door with little or no regret. It's not that easy with someone we love.

2. What is the most expensive sex toy you've ever purchased?

Damn, you want me to go through ALL of my receipts?!? So many boxes, so many toys, so little time.

It may not count as a sex toy, but I bought a harness at IML a few years ago that cost me more than a few dollars, but paid for itself several times over at certain parties on certain weekends.

I also have a nice cop outfit. I'm not sure whether I should go for the "Construction Worker" or "American Indian" ensemble next.

3. If you knew ahead of time you would not have an orgasm, would you still have sex?

I may be the only man in the world who will say this, but I would definitely still have sex if no orgasm was going to come of it.

The way I see it, if you're just in it for the orgasm, you're missing so much fun that can had on the way there. And you know, a watched pot never boils, so if you really want to "get there," it's probably best to relax, give in and see where things go, without a plan, a road map or a specific agenda.

Besides, sometimes me concentrating on the other person's orgasm and not my own brings me more pleasure - - spiritually and physically - - than anything else.

You see? The reports of my being a pushy bottom have been greatly exaggerated.

4. What celebrity would you most like to have sex with if given the chance?

Tom Cruise.

So that I can infiltrate the compound and free Katie Holmes.

5. Have you ever had sex while an audience watched?

Oh yes. Many times. I kind of enjoy that.

But audience members watching me hit it and get it have to understand one thing: This ain't no improv show!

I'm not taking suggestions, this isn't all about your enjoyment, and unless I slip on the lube and fall out of bed or someone punctures the blow-up doll making it fart and fly all around the room, there is no laughing.

Cheering? Yes. Laughing? Hell to the no!

Bonus (as in optional): Describe the best sexual encounter you've ever had.

My good friend Master Aaron said it best on the first day I met him during rehearsals for Collette Collage.

The cast was standing in a group, casually getting to know one another on day one of rehearsals, and something Aaron said made me ask if he had had fun the night before. Aaron replied...

"I could tell you, but it would shock the children."

That's my answer. If you want to know the full story, buy me a cocktail. Or four.


Project Christopher said...

So I became guarded on today's TMI Tuesday. However, your answer to the "celebrity" question reminded me of one of my favorite Patrick Stewart moments. He was in Jeffrey playing the Gay Sex Game Show or something and they were asked who was their sexual fantasy. Patrick Stewart says "Yoko Ono..... to see the apartment!"

David said...

::sends you multiple e-cocktails, even though he technically can't purchase alcohol yet::

Anonymous said...

#5 U Hoar. I'll pray 4 U.

~I'm back BTW. *waves*

Anatomicsd said...

I think you should go for the cowboy. I bet you'd look amazingly sexy in a pair of butter soft leather chaps and a stetson.

Of course, ONLY in the chaps and a stetson...we'll save the neckerchief for cleanup after the fun.

Bunny said...

LOL @ So that I can infiltrate the compound and free Katie Holmes!!!!

That's very self-sacrificing of you.

Happy TMI!

P.S. I was also going to say Cowboy, but anatomicsd beat me to it!

Just Kevin... said...

Oh, yes! Free Katie! Free Katie! Between Posh Spice and Tom, Katie doesn't have a chance!

McCool said...


BTW...go for the construction worker outfit. Several reasons:

1. You can always just steal the hardhat and toolbelt from a randy serviceman next time they drop by...

2. I'm sure you already have the jeans, the workshirt and the boots

3. I'd hate to see you go out in Chicago in full feather headdress just to get to your destination with one or two feathers left because the wind ripped the rest off! However...the rest of the Indian ensemble would look quite fetching (notice there was no L in that last word)!


Aaron said...

You had sex before an audience? What, were you the window display at RAM or something...?

And if it was a play, how come I missed it?

Master Aaron said...

I will say that NOTHING makes me happier than that I have occasionally amused over the years. Thanks for remembering! (Do I hear Noel singing?)