1) I probably had one too many Skyy vodka & cranberry cocktails this past Saturday as I judged Windy City Gay Idol's semi-final round.
No, that's not true.
I DEFINITELY had FIVE too many Skyy vodka & cranberry cocktails. I was drunk, tight and full of hooch. I know this because, as I stood up at the end of the event, I kept repeating to myself, "Maintain... maintain..."
2) While I was attempting to "maintain," I was also flirting with a very cute, very funny guy.
He had a goatee. He was wearing glasses. And he told me he played in a band. A band named "Genital Hercules."
His smile won me over, but he had me at "Genital Hercules."
3) When you put all that together...
Well, let's do the math...
Stephen (Idol + Judge + Wasted) x "Genital Hercules" = Paula Abdul.
Yes, I'm a cold hearted snake...
I'm forever your girl...
...and of course, "I'm tired of people not treating me like the gift that I am."
I'm the ultimate oxymoron - - a gay Paula Abdul.
5 comments:
NO...NO. Anything but Paula Abdul!
Yes, but did ya get little sumin' sumin'? Come one, straight up now tell me!
Well now that Paula is my new BFF, I think it's great!
Paula could certainly do much worse in gay versions of herself, my dear.
LOL - this post in beautiful in its hilarity!
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