Monday, June 01, 2009

"Vodka... Don't Give Me Vodka..."

Here's what's true...

1) I probably had one too many Skyy vodka & cranberry cocktails this past Saturday as I judged Windy City Gay Idol's semi-final round.

No, that's not true.

I DEFINITELY had FIVE too many Skyy vodka & cranberry cocktails. I was drunk, tight and full of hooch. I know this because, as I stood up at the end of the event, I kept repeating to myself, "Maintain... maintain..."

2) While I was attempting to "maintain," I was also flirting with a very cute, very funny guy.

He had a goatee. He was wearing glasses. And he told me he played in a band. A band named "Genital Hercules."

His smile won me over, but he had me at "Genital Hercules."


3) When you put all that together...

Well, let's do the math...

Stephen (Idol + Judge + Wasted) x "Genital Hercules" = Paula Abdul.

Yes, I'm a cold hearted snake...

I'm forever your girl...

...and of course, "I'm tired of people not treating me like the gift that I am."

I'm the ultimate oxymoron - - a gay Paula Abdul.

5 comments:

Anatomicsd said...

NO...NO. Anything but Paula Abdul!

Avenjer said...

Yes, but did ya get little sumin' sumin'? Come one, straight up now tell me!

Palm Springs Savant said...

Well now that Paula is my new BFF, I think it's great!

Prospero said...

Paula could certainly do much worse in gay versions of herself, my dear.

Mark in DE said...

LOL - this post in beautiful in its hilarity!