Thursday, October 16, 2008

"My Friend, Joe the Plumber"

During last week's Presidential debate, I thought that nothing could be more annoying than Sen. John McCain's incessant use of the words, "My friends."

Sen. McCain, you're not my friend, you're just an employee working for the people of Arizona.

I don't like being told I'm someone's "friend." I don't like it when a boyfriend downgrades our "I've got regular sex and a date on national holidays" relationship to "just friends," and really despise it when a political kiss-ass, lagging in the polls, tries to upgrade our "I'm a citizen and you're my elected bitch" relationship to the cloyingly precious "my friends" level.

Like we're about to break into "Bosom Buddies" from Mame or something. John, I repeat - - "I was NEVER in the chorus!"

You see Mr. McCain, just because you claim something to be true doesn't necessarily make it become the truth. If that were the case, I would be repeating "28-inch waist, 12-inch cock and a full head of long, luxurious, smartly styled hair." My mantra.

But last night, "My friends" took a backseat to the most annoying callback since Urkel's, "Did I do that?" - - Joe, the Plumber.

Bringing up - - and continuing to refer to!!!! - - "Joe the Plumber" ad nasueum didn't bring McCain closer to the Heartland or the struggling middle class or even his core supporters - - "Old Men with Potato-like Skin Who Can't Raise Their Arms Above Their Nipples."

Enough of "Joe the Plumber." Unless of course he looks like the cutie above and he knocks on my door saying that he's come to clean my pipes.

And while we're at it, let's put "Joe Six Pac" out of circulation as well.

As much as I enjoy chiseled abs, I only want to hear those words grouped together if Nancy McKeon returns to her mulleted-80's glory as Jo in a Facts of Life tv reunion special.

And she's carrying six beers. And Mindy Cohn.

7 comments:

Project Christopher said...

You're such a hoot!

The way my computer screen is set (aka, not huge friggin print for the blind - but more readable space on the screen) I can see your Joe Plumber in the center top, Nancy McKeon on the left and Homely Trio Sisters on the far right.... Everything you post is tagged on the right by the sisters so while irrelevant to this particular post, I have to ask...

Just how deep IS the hair teased on the dark haired on on the left?? Good God! Her hair alone is bigger than her entire head!

Project Christopher said...

You're such a hoot!

The way my computer screen is set (aka, not huge friggin print for the blind - but more readable space on the screen) I can see your Joe Plumber in the center top, Nancy McKeon on the left and Homely Trio Sisters on the far right.... Everything you post is tagged on the right by the sisters so while irrelevant to this particular post, I have to ask...

Just how deep IS the hair teased on the dark haired on on the left?? Good God! Her hair alone is bigger than her entire head!

Anatomicsd said...

Feeling a little peevish today?

I didn't watch the debate since I knew I'd find it annoying. Obviously your masochistic tendencies came to the fore.

Angel ABC said...

I noticed a third hand on the plumber ... kind of reaching to the guy's crotch. I'm sure it's the way you cropped the photo, but in the spirit of Halloween, it's kind of creepy.

Polt said...

GOT to have Mindy Cohn. Absolutly! :)

HUGS...

McCool said...

Joe The Plumber...yet another McCain-er that wasn't background-checked before tossing in the national spotlight.

-- he's not licensed
-- his real name isn't Joe
-- he's currently being sued for back taxes by the city he lives in
-- he defintely can't afford to buy the plumbing company he was said to be interested in purchasing
-- he's allegedly not a registered voter and...*drumroll*

-- Martin Eisenstadt, a McCain adviser, says not everyone connected to the campaign was thrilled with the invoking of Joe the Plumber during the debate last night. Why not? It turns out, according to Eisenstadt, good ol' Joe is related to Charles Keating. Yes, that Charles Keating, he of the Keating 5 scandal.

GO FIGURE...

Aaron said...

"ol' Joe is related to Charles Keating"

We should have known by the fish-tank-shaped head and the obvious audience-plant-like nature of his sudden appearance.