Wednesday, February 03, 2010

My New Favorite Caption Contest #46

This one was a toughie.

Of course, looking at the picture, "This one was a toughie" could possibly be a caption. Not at Caption Contest winner, but a caption nonetheless.

Choosing a winner was tough because there were SO MANY good captions to choose from. From Philip's "I miss the hell outta that dog," to Nick's possible twice-winning caption, "No one had the heart to tell grandpa it wasn't a real boy." But as I read over all the entries just now, one made me laugh, possibly a little too hard. And the caption / new song lyric that Philip wrote just won't go out of my head...

"Cuz I got one hand in ma pocket. /
And the other one is rubbing a wall schlong."

It just makes me giggle. A lot. I almost hope that Philip would re-write the rest of the lyrics to that song so that I could sing it. Somewhere.

Sure, singing the new lyrics to an audience of people who've never seen this picture would be like trying to understand all the inside jokes at your spouse's office Christmas party, but it would make me laugh. And quite frankly, if I laugh at my own jokes, I score that as a Win.

The picture I've chosen for the #46 Caption Contest is, in my opinion, hotter to look at, but somehow much more disturbing than a Wilford Brimley look-alike petting a gigantic, wall-mounted, wooden elephant cock...

Yeah... I got nothin'... Seriously, nothin'...

Captions are DEFINITELY needed.


Polt said...

Oh if only I had watched even a single episode of Ugly Betty, Im sure I'd have an awesome caption right now.

*SIGH* Lemme mull this over some, and see what I can some up with.


Polt said...

"After hearing of Ugly Betty's cancelation, Ricky had a total breakdown: wouldn't shower or dress, wouldn't take the Christmas decorations down, only ate Doritos. Surprisingly, it was an improvement."

Yeah, that's all I got right now. I'll try to think of some better stuff soon.


Doctor K said...

I don't have a caption but he can decorate my couch any day.

Stephen said...

"No... I said I would fuck you if you had a bag over your head. An Ugly Betty mask was not part of my instructions!"

philip said...

-America idle.

-The Brotherhood of the Traveling Hands.

-Real Women Have Clothes.

-When mah Betty, When mah Betty smiles at me I get some Fritos. With me dinero.

-Too bad about her face.

-Comforter? YOU brought 'er!

-On those long winter school days, Mr. Mayweather liked to come home, toss his alphabet chart behind the book case, and just let the night take him it wanted to go.

-What's in YOUR wallet?

-Single handedly defining "Pretty Ugly."

-Marvin had to do SOMETHING to spice up the youth group.

-I find that often people appreciate when you do something unexpected to lighten the mood at a funeral.

-Never mind the mask, why are there red powdered cheese prints on your dick?!?!

-Ugly Betty, now in it's new slot.

-Well, congratulations, best of luck tonight. And who are you wearing?

-I want to be in America.

-Syndication was hard on some of Ugly Betty's more "exuberant" fans.

-Unfortunately the economy placed a few limits on Jeremy's Halloween costume.

-His Bronson Pinchot mask was at the cleaners.

and last but not least. ..

-No one had the heart to tell Grandpa it wasn't a real girl.

Polt said...

BWAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAH!!! Philip, my love, you crack me up. I wanna have your babies! :)


Mike said...

"Believe it or not, the original transgendered mystery plot on Ugly Betty was even more unbelievable than Rebecca Romijn as Daniel's dead brother."

(see Phillip, that's the kind of joke you can make if you used to watch the show)

Mike said...

"Following the smell of Doritos and baby oil into the den, Rebecca Romijn was speechless, except to say that Jerry O'Connell would NOT be going to any more cast parties."

Java said...

Philip amazes me. Truly.

cb said...

The real Ugly Betty would never eat Doritos... not with those braces.

Nick said...

I feel like this picture is actually five caption contests in one -- there's just too much.

If it was just the mask, or the Doritos, or the wallet . . .but all of that plus Christmas lights (not to mention what appears to be a t-shirt/towel at the ready on the end of the couch)makes this like the Brothers Dostoevsky for me.

I want to make an attempt but it seems too complicated.

Avenjer said...

"I feel pretty! Oh so pretty!" or "Adam is TOTAL Betty." :)

Avenjer said...

"I feel pretty! Oh so pretty!" or "Adam is TOTAL Betty." :)