Monday, December 14, 2009

"What Does It Mean, Corky?"

Okay, guys. It's been a bear of a day. And they're just going to get worse from here till the end of the year for me.

There's way too much to do at my office, and since my office is me, there's no time to finish everything that needs to be finished. And buy Christmas presents. And get ready to fly back to Tennessee. And attend Christmas parties. And so on, and so on, and so on.

I don't feel holiday cheer, I just feel intense stress. It's a good thing the two men who wrote that obnoxious fucking song, "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year," are already dead, or I would have to hunt them down and shove knitting needles down their piss slits.

Though with my luck, they'd probably both be into hardcore sounding and would start singing the song loudly, trying to piss me off more so that I would shove the needles in harder and harder. ('Atta girl!)

And while we're talking about pain to the genitals, I am 39 years old and, as you can see below, there are exactly 39 more days until I turn 40.

Is there any significance to that? I mean, other than the sagging balls, gray pubes and getting my own, personalized stool at Little Jim's.

(Not that kind of stool. You pig...)


Prospero said...

Poor baby! It only gets worse from here on... Deal with it, bitch. (You know I love you!)

Adam said...

Oh, when I turned 30 I expected to get all worried about it, and get in some kind of crisis, but I just didn't. I suggest you just don't as well! Just have fund with your friends on your B-day!

Adam (

Doctor K said...

You're not getting old...just well seasoned. And sagging balls are much better for teabagging!

the hobbit said...

Happy Early! Corky is the proper birthday meditation.

Polt said...

I'm 42, my balls aren't sagging any more than usual, my pubes aren't gray (although my chest hair is) and since I don't know what Little Jim's is, well I got nothing about that one.

You're fabulously gay, fabulously talented, love what you're doing, are good at it, have sexy Philip as a friend, and have this wonderful blog with all the even wonderfuller readers.

Revel in whatcha got, my friend, not in some number.

But if your sagging balls and grey pubes are overflowing that stool at Little Jim's and reaching halfway to the floor, do us all a favor and don't post a photo of it, kay?


Java said...

Damn, I've been out of touch for a few days. Is it really that close to our birthday?

I got the Christmas stress without the Christmas joy. I'm not dwelling on it much, yet.

I'm older than you are, but my balls aren't sagging. Everything else is, though. Gawd, I must seem ancient to you. It would make me feel old if I could feel anything, but today I'm all "I don't give a fuck."

james said...

just sing that old merle haggard christmas song, 'as long as we make it through december' at least i think that's the name. you get the idea. i wish i could give you a few of those paula deen pecan squares i made this week. well, its the thought that counts, right? and just keep plugging away thru december, and have a feckin' great new year.