"Upside Down"

Since it's been so long since my last post, I thought I might bridge the gap with a post similar to the last one.

"Upside down. Boy, you turn me.

"Inside out & round & round.

"Upside down, you're turning me.

"You're giving love instinctively.

"Round & round you're turning me."

Indeed...

"Islands in the Stream"

"Islands in the stream,

That is what we are.

No one in-between.

How can we be wrong?

Sail away with me to another world,

And we rely on each other, ah-ah.

From one lover to another, ah-ah"

"Take Me Out to the Ball (Game)..."

I've done it. I've found him. I've found my next boyfriend!

I haven't met him yet, have no idea where he lives, and there's the slight problem that he's straight, but I'm confident that a Google search and multiple shots of Grand Marnier will take care of those issues in no time.

This is Bo. Or as he has been nicknamed, "Bo the Bailer." I imagine / hope he's as young and dumb (and full of... well... you know...) as he seems in the video, because, when a foul ball came flying towards Bo and his girlfriend (his FORMER girlfriend, I might add), Bo bailed. And this lovely woman was hit by the ball.

But for me, the young and dumb part of Bo trumps any bailing he could ever do to me.

Besides, I don't have a problem with balls hitting me. Foul or otherwise.

"I'm Hungry for Love. Set the Table"

My buddy Kevin at The Lisp knows how to make an overly stressed, over-worked, bald homo-fanboy feel better..

He sent me this Robin.

This might be my favorite Robin of all time. Seriously.

Hot, hairy and smart. Just look at how he solved that costume problem of Robin's.

...You know, the green bikini briefs and green elven booties, and those flesh-colored tights that Burt Ward wore with them...

How did this Robin solve that costume crisis? He just took 'em off.

'Atta girl.

Just look at that ass.

"Holy Hole-in-a-Donut," indeed.

"Little Girls, Little Girls, Everywhere I Turn I Can See Them"

Take the cast members from "The Kids in the Hall," dress them up like former child beauty pageant contestants a la "Toddlers & Tiaras" and have them join my boyfriend Joel McHale on "The Soup" and you have my idea of Heaven.

Well, Gay Heaven, anyway.

I love this. I love this so hard.

"Somebody Thought of That..."

Kal-el's version of that Kermit the frog classic tune...

"Someday, we'll find it...

"...the Krypton Connection....

"the toothaches...

"...the dentists...

"...and me!"

This is why I read comic books.

For the random, "What the fuck is going on?!?" factor.

I live for it.

"This Isn't a Wig, I Have Loose Scalp"

We've waited a long time for it, but it's here...

It's finally here!

A new episode of "Katie's Corner."

With my good friend Alexandra Billings channeling the late, great Katharine Hepburn.

That's me and Alex in the pic on the right.

I could tell you what we were doing at that moment, but it would shock the children.

"I Want You to Hit Me as Hard as You Can"

From what I can tell from this picture taken during the filming of "Giant," James Dean apparently thought that Rock Hudson needed a good cock-punching.

All I have to say to that is... Atta girl!

Now, to be sure, Rock probably enjoyed getting his cock punched by Jimmie Dean. Hell, Rock probably asked for it. Okay, begged for it. I know I would have. If that punch was aimed at my backside instead of my front, that is.

But most men probably doesn't appreciate a hard fist slamming into and around a bulging package. So, let's play a little game.

It's called "Who Do You Think Needs a Good Cock-Punching Right Now?"

So, tell me. Who would you push to the front of the line if someone was offering free and painful cannonballs to the cock?

Mel Gibson, Dick Cheney and every executive at BP start my list. But again, Darth Cheney would probably enjoy it. Seriously. He's probably laugh and start begging for a harder cock-punching.

God, I hate dudes who top from the bottom. Oy...

Fratboy Friday

Finally. One pic that ALMOST encompasses all of the Fratboy Friday categories. This cutie has it all...

BOYS IN CAPS, SAGGERS, and

DAMN, I WAS DRUNK LAST NIGHT

Don't worry. You'll still get your...

MOONER

A mooner behind glass.

Yeah... Like that's gonna stop me...

"How Much Is That Doggie in the Window?"

I've always had a little soft spot for the 50's comic book Batman.

The goofiness... The square-jawed, white-slits-for-eyes face in a Bat-cowl... The Batmobile with a Bat-face hood ornament bigger than the Boy Wonder...

The first Bat-Girl, a tennis pro turned superhero... The first Batwoman, who used cosmetic compacts to fight crime, and was introduced simply to make the relationship between Batman and Robin appear less like the NAMBLA love story that it actually is...

And of course, Ace the Bat-Hound. A dog. In a mask. With a Bat-symbol around his neck. Hung there to scare the bad guys, I suppose. Because, as Bruce Wayne said, "Criminals are a superstitious and cowardly lot."

Over the years, Ace has come and gone, but until today, I don't think we knew he could sing. I mean, really sing.

Here Ace as a pug singing the theme song to the 60's Batman TV show. If this doesn't cure what ails you, nothing will.

"Look at Your Life. Look at Your Choices."

Okay...

I just watched the latest Sassy Gay Friend video and cackled like Paula Deen enjoying a fried stick of butter.

The Sassy Gay Friend meets Shel Silverstein's "The Giving Tree."

The Giving Tree, y'all. The Giving Tree.

"Methinks the Lady Doth Protest Too Much"

Not to rain on Gay Pride (Chicago's weather will be taking care of that any time now), but here's Mike (I Don't Heart) Huckabee from earlier this morning defending his claim that gay relationships illicit an "ick factor."

A couple of quick questions before I go put on all white (with no underwear) to stand and watch the parade in the rain:

A) Since the U.S. is a republic, not a democracy, why are laws being passed by ballot initiative? Oh, that's right. So that the majority can deny the minority their equal rights.

B) Huckabee reads the articles in those gay rags put out by The Edge?!? Does he "read" the Undergear catalog too?

Happy Pride, everyone.

While we enjoy today, take time to remember that it ain't over.

And also remember that, for the most part, it has been the drag queens, nellie fags and bull dykes who have pushed this movement forward from it's birth at Stonewall till this very day, so if anyone says anything about anyone flaunting it, camping it or bearing their breasts, tell them I said to fuck off and get in the back of the line. 'Nuff said.

"What Are You Doing? What, What, What Are You Doing?"

Finally, the wait is over!

Here it is, a new Sassy Gay Friend vid!

Love it! Love him! And I REALLY love Adam.

Trust me, you'll love him too. But I called dibs.

"Would You Like to Pet My Pussy?"

I don't know about you, but after watching this French commercial (that has been banned in France), I suddenly want some Orangina.

And some pussy.

My father is going to be so happy about this.

"You Can See Right Through Me"

Superman has always stood for truth, justice and the American way.

And these panels by Caldwell Tanner that I found on CollegeHumor...

Well, if they don't scream "the American way" as we currently know it, I don't know what does!



























I guess, now that Aquaman is back, Supes can pass the buck on the crappy jobs once again.

"Bad Boys, Bad Boys. What You Gonna Do?"

Let's play a little game.

Watch this compilation of clips from the show "Cops" and try to identify which of the people in it are my relatives.

Here's a hint: It's most of them.

Okay, all of them. Except one.

And... GO!

COPS PORN - watch more funny videos

"Look at Him, Look at You. Classic Case of Fruit Blindness"

"There’s no such thing as bisexual. That’s just something they invented in the 90’s to sell hair products. Deal Breaker."

- Liz Lemon on 30 ROCK

("Teach it like you preach it, Liz Lemon!")

"All We Hear Is Radio Goo Goo..."

Finally...

Someone who watches Lady Gaga and has the same exact thoughts about "La Gaga" and her work that I do...

"What is this shit?"

I find Gaga, her music and her "look" to be ri-COCK-ulous, which is ridiculous to the extreme.

Apparently, the always brilliant Jackie Hoffman (currently playing Grandma in The Addams Family musical on Broadway) feels the same way.

Check out Ms. Hoffman's version of that 8 minute piece of artistic masturbation that Lady Gaga calls "Alejandro."

It's genius. Friggin' genius.

"Love Your Hair, Honey. Hope You Win"

I just saw this in one of the of Tee Fury forums and you know...

As much as I've been enjoying Dick Grayson as Batman...

And as much as I liked Batman #700 with all of the Batmen past, present, future and beyond...

There's something about a Justin Beiber Batman - - or BeiberMan, if you will - - that I love.

I guess it's the twink in superhero tights combo.

What am I saying? OF COURSE, it's the twink in superhero tights combo.

Even more so than Grayson's Batman, this is Robin all grown up.

I almost like this better than the old school Earth-2 Robin costume. No, seriously. I love that Earth-2 Robin costume.

Now, just one question: Who the fuck is Justin Beiber?!?

"If You Could See Her Through My Eyes..."

I'm a Kinsey 6 (at least!) but for many, many years now, I have occasionally found myself cruising a cute, young gay boy that is actually a cute, young lesbian.

If my father reads this, he'll be thrilled. But this happens all the time, right?

In a world filled with lesbians who look just like Justin Bieber (whoever the fuck THAT is!), I'm definitely not the only fag cruising hot lesbians on the street.

Yet today, something happened. The game changed and the game, at least for me, is now SUPREMELY fucked up.

Okay, okay... Fine... "I" am now supremely fucked up...

Today, I was walking down the street and saw a couple walking towards me. They looked like the girl-on-girl version of Jack Sprat and his wife. No, they looked more like the HOT girl-on-girl version of Jack Sprat and his wife.

Sure, the lesbo-Jack Sprat of the couple was more "chubby Oprah" than lean. And yes, "Jack's wife" looked like she enjoyed eating pizzas topped with hot dogs (which, of course, made me mentally shout, "'Atta, girl!"), but whether it was spite of their size or because of it, they were both incredibly HOT! Probably because they were so into each other and enjoying a great summer day together. So, I kept staring at them. I couldn't help it.

But as I got closer, I realized... this... wasn't a lesbian couple... at all...

Oh, no... This was a straight couple. And that's not the Anne Heche part of the story.

The fucked up part is that the heavier member of what I thought was a lesbian couple was actually a man - - and that man looked exactly like Wilford Brimley.

Leaving just one question: Exactly how fucked up AM I now that my Daddy fantasies are transforming Wilford Brimley lookalikes into big-boned, happily married lesbians?

Or is there a very simple answer for all of this. Something like "If a fag sees Wilford Brimley and thinks it's Rosie O'Donnell, we all get 6 more weeks of summer."

Oy...