Monday, June 14, 2010

"If You Could See Her Through My Eyes..."

I'm a Kinsey 6 (at least!) but for many, many years now, I have occasionally found myself cruising a cute, young gay boy that is actually a cute, young lesbian.

If my father reads this, he'll be thrilled. But this happens all the time, right?

In a world filled with lesbians who look just like Justin Bieber (whoever the fuck THAT is!), I'm definitely not the only fag cruising hot lesbians on the street.

Yet today, something happened. The game changed and the game, at least for me, is now SUPREMELY fucked up.

Okay, okay... Fine... "I" am now supremely fucked up...

Today, I was walking down the street and saw a couple walking towards me. They looked like the girl-on-girl version of Jack Sprat and his wife. No, they looked more like the HOT girl-on-girl version of Jack Sprat and his wife.

Sure, the lesbo-Jack Sprat of the couple was more "chubby Oprah" than lean. And yes, "Jack's wife" looked like she enjoyed eating pizzas topped with hot dogs (which, of course, made me mentally shout, "'Atta, girl!"), but whether it was spite of their size or because of it, they were both incredibly HOT! Probably because they were so into each other and enjoying a great summer day together. So, I kept staring at them. I couldn't help it.

But as I got closer, I realized... this... wasn't a lesbian couple... at all...

Oh, no... This was a straight couple. And that's not the Anne Heche part of the story.

The fucked up part is that the heavier member of what I thought was a lesbian couple was actually a man - - and that man looked exactly like Wilford Brimley.

Leaving just one question: Exactly how fucked up AM I now that my Daddy fantasies are transforming Wilford Brimley lookalikes into big-boned, happily married lesbians?

Or is there a very simple answer for all of this. Something like "If a fag sees Wilford Brimley and thinks it's Rosie O'Donnell, we all get 6 more weeks of summer."



Polt said...

I don't like drag kings for that reason! twinkie-esque woman that turn me on cause I think they're twinkies and don't know they're women freak me the hell out!


just me said...

Didn't the moustache kind of tip you off?? I mean I've been there, I thought my bowling team member's girlfriend was her about a red face!! You can't get out of that one, there's just no way!

Stephen said...

Funny stuff!
I shared a bus stop for years with the cutest blond with a crewcut... afterlots of crusing, I gained the confidence to try & chat. He was a she & wanted to talk softball. I still found her cute.