Sunday, June 27, 2010

"Methinks the Lady Doth Protest Too Much"

Not to rain on Gay Pride (Chicago's weather will be taking care of that any time now), but here's Mike (I Don't Heart) Huckabee from earlier this morning defending his claim that gay relationships illicit an "ick factor."

A couple of quick questions before I go put on all white (with no underwear) to stand and watch the parade in the rain:

A) Since the U.S. is a republic, not a democracy, why are laws being passed by ballot initiative? Oh, that's right. So that the majority can deny the minority their equal rights.

B) Huckabee reads the articles in those gay rags put out by The Edge?!? Does he "read" the Undergear catalog too?

Happy Pride, everyone.

While we enjoy today, take time to remember that it ain't over.

And also remember that, for the most part, it has been the drag queens, nellie fags and bull dykes who have pushed this movement forward from it's birth at Stonewall till this very day, so if anyone says anything about anyone flaunting it, camping it or bearing their breasts, tell them I said to fuck off and get in the back of the line. 'Nuff said.

Friday, June 25, 2010

"What Are You Doing? What, What, What Are You Doing?"

Finally, the wait is over!

Here it is, a new Sassy Gay Friend vid!

Love it! Love him! And I REALLY love Adam.

Trust me, you'll love him too. But I called dibs.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

"Would You Like to Pet My Pussy?"

I don't know about you, but after watching this French commercial (that has been banned in France), I suddenly want some Orangina.

And some pussy.

My father is going to be so happy about this.

"You Can See Right Through Me"

Superman has always stood for truth, justice and the American way.

And these panels by Caldwell Tanner that I found on CollegeHumor...

Well, if they don't scream "the American way" as we currently know it, I don't know what does!

I guess, now that Aquaman is back, Supes can pass the buck on the crappy jobs once again.

"Bad Boys, Bad Boys. What You Gonna Do?"

Let's play a little game.

Watch this compilation of clips from the show "Cops" and try to identify which of the people in it are my relatives.

Here's a hint: It's most of them.

Okay, all of them. Except one.

And... GO!

COPS PORN - watch more funny videos

"Look at Him, Look at You. Classic Case of Fruit Blindness"

"There’s no such thing as bisexual. That’s just something they invented in the 90’s to sell hair products. Deal Breaker."

- Liz Lemon on 30 ROCK

("Teach it like you preach it, Liz Lemon!")

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

"All We Hear Is Radio Goo Goo..."


Someone who watches Lady Gaga and has the same exact thoughts about "La Gaga" and her work that I do...

"What is this shit?"

I find Gaga, her music and her "look" to be ri-COCK-ulous, which is ridiculous to the extreme.

Apparently, the always brilliant Jackie Hoffman (currently playing Grandma in The Addams Family musical on Broadway) feels the same way.

Check out Ms. Hoffman's version of that 8 minute piece of artistic masturbation that Lady Gaga calls "Alejandro."

It's genius. Friggin' genius.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

"Love Your Hair, Honey. Hope You Win"

I just saw this in one of the of Tee Fury forums and you know...

As much as I've been enjoying Dick Grayson as Batman...

And as much as I liked Batman #700 with all of the Batmen past, present, future and beyond...

There's something about a Justin Beiber Batman - - or BeiberMan, if you will - - that I love.

I guess it's the twink in superhero tights combo.

What am I saying? OF COURSE, it's the twink in superhero tights combo.

Even more so than Grayson's Batman, this is Robin all grown up.

I almost like this better than the old school Earth-2 Robin costume. No, seriously. I love that Earth-2 Robin costume.

Now, just one question: Who the fuck is Justin Beiber?!?

Monday, June 14, 2010

"If You Could See Her Through My Eyes..."

I'm a Kinsey 6 (at least!) but for many, many years now, I have occasionally found myself cruising a cute, young gay boy that is actually a cute, young lesbian.

If my father reads this, he'll be thrilled. But this happens all the time, right?

In a world filled with lesbians who look just like Justin Bieber (whoever the fuck THAT is!), I'm definitely not the only fag cruising hot lesbians on the street.

Yet today, something happened. The game changed and the game, at least for me, is now SUPREMELY fucked up.

Okay, okay... Fine... "I" am now supremely fucked up...

Today, I was walking down the street and saw a couple walking towards me. They looked like the girl-on-girl version of Jack Sprat and his wife. No, they looked more like the HOT girl-on-girl version of Jack Sprat and his wife.

Sure, the lesbo-Jack Sprat of the couple was more "chubby Oprah" than lean. And yes, "Jack's wife" looked like she enjoyed eating pizzas topped with hot dogs (which, of course, made me mentally shout, "'Atta, girl!"), but whether it was spite of their size or because of it, they were both incredibly HOT! Probably because they were so into each other and enjoying a great summer day together. So, I kept staring at them. I couldn't help it.

But as I got closer, I realized... this... wasn't a lesbian couple... at all...

Oh, no... This was a straight couple. And that's not the Anne Heche part of the story.

The fucked up part is that the heavier member of what I thought was a lesbian couple was actually a man - - and that man looked exactly like Wilford Brimley.

Leaving just one question: Exactly how fucked up AM I now that my Daddy fantasies are transforming Wilford Brimley lookalikes into big-boned, happily married lesbians?

Or is there a very simple answer for all of this. Something like "If a fag sees Wilford Brimley and thinks it's Rosie O'Donnell, we all get 6 more weeks of summer."


Thursday, June 10, 2010

"Toot, Toot. Hey... Beep, Beep!"

If you've never quite understood why, when compared to the other decades of the 20th century, the 70's will forever be the redheaded, bastard child in the annual Christmas card family photo, just watch Liza Minnelli in the clip below. Singing "Bad Girls."

Yes, that "Bad Girls."

Of course, comparing Liza singing a Donna Sommer song to a redheaded, bastard child would also mean that the little illegitimate fire crotch arrived at the photo shoot for said family Christmas card loaded on God-knows-what and accompanied by a flaming homosexual she kept introducing as her new husband.

This clip is... Oy... Even with Liza's tremendous talent, this production of "Bad Girls" is a sea of bedazzled wrong.

Let's face it. Only in the 70's would someone have thought that Liza HAD to sing "Bad Girls." And only in the 70's would no one have stopped them!

Why? Well, also on 70's television, the dancers on Donny and Marie Osmond's variety show weren't really dancers. They were were ice skaters. Yeah... Donnie and Marie would start singing "I'm a little bit country...," and then there would be ice skating. Before, during and after the song. And, occasionally, Paul Lynde would do some comedy sketches. With children. Sounds like "La Cage aux Folles" directed by Fellini, doesn't it? Nope. It was worse.

But, it's not just the song choice. I'm sure the same showtune queen who put a disco beat behind "The Ballad of Sweeney Todd" pushed Liza to sing "Bad Girls," which lead some chorus boy with a dance belt and dream to choreograph what looks like Bob Fosse's version of the dream ballet from "Oklahoma," forcing Liza's new gay husband to suggest ending the song with an homage to "The Telephone Hour" from "Bye Bye Birdie."

It all leads me to one simple thought: WHERE IS THE REST OF THIS TELEVISION SPECIAL?!? For the love of all things Lorna, I need it!!!

P.S. I realize this special aired in 1980, but just like our former President and our current financial shit box, the blame for this lands squarely in the past.

Sunday, June 06, 2010

"Simple as Can Be. See? Liza!"

What good is sitting alone in your room?

Especially when you can sit in the Chicago Theatre and watch Liza Minnelli in concert.

That's where I'm going. Right now.

And she probably won't sing "Single Ladies" (which I LOVED in the movie, so let's start the gay debate... NOW). There's an even slimmer chance she'll sing this song from "Liza with a Z."

But if she does sing "I Gotcha!," you'll hear my gay squeal across the country.

Hell, I'm gonna squeal regardless.

Friday, June 04, 2010

Fratboy Friday


Wow. That's the exact same face that I made
when I saw his gun show, too!

And, unless he's extremely limber, there's a lot more he can do
when that expression is on my face than on his. Just sayin'...


Does that say "SUCH IS LIFE" or "SUCK IS LIFE"?

Tomato, toMAHto...



Why do I never stumble onto these guys peeing in my alley?



A straight man with a good oral technique.

Who could ask for anything more?

"When My Name Appears in Print, It Better Read, 'Blanche Devereaux COMMA 39!'"

I've been away for awhile. Two weeks in fact. Sorry about that.

I've been busy, I've been depressed, I've been straightening up my life.

No, let's say "organizing," not "straightening up." As an old and very dear friend of mine used to say, "Never the S word, dear."

But when a Golden Girl dies, attention must be paid. Which is why I urge everyone to do what I will be doing tonight, in honor of the passing of Ms. Rue McClanahan.

I'm going to be taking Blanche's advice...

Join me, won't you?