GaySexMagic is Coming In!

WOOHOO!! I've already received two - - count 'em, TWO - - dirty, little ecards via GaySexMagic.com!!! I LOVE THEM!!

I received this one from the fabulous Raven the Goldfish...


She and I have never met, but you can tell from the card she chose and her note to me that she knows me. She REALLY knows me!!

I also received this one from my old and dear friend Whim...


Thank you, Whim. You also know me so well. So VERY well!

If that second pic doesn't make ARE YOU THERE, BLOG? NSFW, I'm not quite sure what will!!

Naked, mud wrestling pictures of Ethel Merman and Ernest Borgnine, maybe?

Bob's Belated Birthday

I neglected to look at my World Almanac Desk Calendar yesterday - - don't judge me, I live alone - - so, before it's too late, I have to post a belated birthday remembrance.

Ninety-two years ago yesterday - - October 24, 1915 - - Bob Kane was born.

The Bob Kane who, along with his partner Bill Finger, created Batman.

Or as I prefer to call him, "The Batman."

This Wikipedia article has some interesting facts about the creation of the Dark Knight, Robin the Boy Wonder, and their arch-nemesis, The Joker, but it's this little tidbit from my little desk calendar that sent boggled my mind...

Bob Kane created The Batman when he was 24 years old.

At 24, I could barely tell my left from my right without humming The National Anthem.

Happy Birthday, Mr. Kane. And thanks.

GaySexMagic.com

The hot and sexy guys over at Nightcharm just posted about their sister site, GaySexMagic.com.

At GaySexMagic.com, you can choose from a WIDE (pun intended) assortment of vintage gay porn pics that can be sent FOR FREE as ecards from subtle to raunchy.

This one on the left is closer to "subtle" than "raunchy," FYI.

There's something for every occasion, but there are EXCELLENT Halloween themed ecards up right now.

Check 'em out and send a raunchy one to your favorite bald blogger!

Do You Have Your Tickets?

To Anderson Cooper's GUN SHOW!

Ok, who gave cutie Andy Coopie the steroids? Cause if he's not on some SERIOUS "performance enhancing drugs," then he's had an air hose shoved up his ass.

Yeah... you're right...

Ok, who shoved the air hose up Andy Coopie's ass?

What's he trying to be? The next Carrot Top? Oy...

Ramblings from the outside of nowhere

Ramblings from the outside of nowhere is one of my favorite blogs. Her posts are brilliantly observant and truly bring me back home to the South when I read them.

Alex recently posted about the beauty of bloggers who open up and let the world into their lives. This blogger does exactly that and I feel so close to her when I read her words.

And when I read the following at the beginning of one "Ramblings from the outside of nowhere's" recent posts, I yelled and screamed with joy and laughed out loud...

"As some of you may know, I live in a mobile home community.
Some may call me trailer park trash. And some may kiss my ass."

I admired her before I read that. Now, she is one of my personal heroes!

Give Ramblings from the outside of nowhere a visit when you get a chance.

Once, Twice, Three Times an Imaginary Boyfriend

I've been on the hunt for a New Imaginary Boyfriend for about a week now.

My hot Dirty Fukker Boyfriend is still EXTREMELY near and dear to my... ummm... "heart," but I thought it was time for a change.

And then, I found him. Well, I guess I should say I found him again.

Because this man has been an Imaginary Boyfriend of mine not once but twice before.

But anyone who is this tall, dark and "come do me on the linoleum" handsome is more than worthy of a third reign as the boyfriend I visit in my dreams - - wet, dry and anything in between.

So from a recent post over at Tighty-Whitie Dude AND from his modeling job over at Undergear, give you My New Imaginary Boyfriend...


Told you. Ain't nothing wrong with letting this boy have another swing at bat... so to speak...

And check out his tat...


Yep, that's right... it says...


"Mother." He's hot AND he's good to his mama. What more do we want in a man, y'all?

Hey, while we're using Undergear's "zoom" feature, let's put it to some good use...


Oh yeah. That's nice. Shall we "go for the gold?" Oh, Hell yes!!


Don't judge me. You know you wanted the same area zoomed the second you saw this man!

Lord, I love technology...

Albus Follows Lance's Lead

It's no official. I am in LOVE with Tina over at GGY-Meta!!!

Not only did she send me the picture of Dumbledore showin' off his six pac on a Pride Parade float, but she just sent me a link to this People Magazine cover from the folks over at Best Week Ever!


The Larry Craig jokes got very old very quickly - - probably because he's a self-loathing, horrific little "wide stance" of a man - - but something tells me the gay Dumbledore jokes are going to have more of a shelf-life.

P.S. This is especially brilliant since one of the guests on today's episode of THE VIEW was Lance Bass!

My Favorite Caption Contest Week #15

So many incredible captions for last week's pic.

Not to mention the fact that it inspired two different posts (one & two) from Shirley Heezgay due to the fact the the same three guys are in another homoerotic picture that he's been fond of for quite some time.

And those boys said they were only gay that one time. Liar, liar, pants on fire.

But I had to go with Aaron from Go Away I'm Reading for Week #14's winner. His caption really really nailed it... so to speak...

FRONT GUY: Oh, shit I just lost a filling!

MIDDLE GUY: I'LL provide the filling!

BACK GUY: Is this the line for the food?

"Is this the line for the food?" is what got me. That, my friends, is genius.

The picture for Week #15's Caption Contest is one that I found on a recent post over at Super Underwear Perverts. With Halloween just around the corner, I think this is photo is perfect - - - perfectly twisted - - and BEGGING for a caption..


There it is, folks. So "wrong," it surpasses "right" and bends in on itself to land right back in the "wrong" category.

Deadline for possible captions is this Friday, October 26th at 5:00 p.m. (CST).

I just thought of a possible way to go with this caption. A post of mine from last month might give a clue to what I'm talking about.

Still in Love with the HOUSEWIVES

Usually, I can never find any clips from DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES on YouTube, but luckily, I found two of the scenes from the last two episodes that have made me horse laugh over and over again as I re-played them on my TiVo.

However, the lines from these two clips don't top my favorite lines in the four year history of DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES.

My favorites are..

1) From Season One when Bree and her then husband Rex are hosting a dinner party and Bree announces to the entire table...

"Rex cries when he ejaculates."

and..

2) From last season, when Laurie Metcalf as Carolyn Bigsby takes an entire supermarket hostage in her rampage to kill her husband and while walking through the aisles of the store waving a gun, she shouts...

"Attention, shoppers! We're having a Special today on 'Not Getting Shot,' but it's only available at the BACK OF THE STORE!!!"

But, Susan meeting her new neighbors - - a gay couple - - is pretty damn funny...

"That's super! I've seen a lot of cable, so I GET IT!"

Love it. Love it so much!

And then this scene at Susan's Charades Party, has a classic line near the end of it...

"Bree saw you slap your daughter."

Will somebody give Eva Longoria a friggin' Emmy?!? The woman is not only incredibly hot, she's so damn FUNNY!

TMI Tuesday

Last week's questions were all about dating. This week goes right for the erogenous zones. Here's this week's TMI Tuesday.


1. What are your 7 favorite tactile things that turn you on? Sex (like oral, or penetrative) cannot be an answer. (Examples: silk, light tickling, etc).

Let's see. Of the top of my head, I'll say: stubble, leather, rubber, sand, wax, a feather and silk.

Yes, I said, "wax."

If you've never had candle wax lightly poured onto your skin during sex, you have not fully experienced the beast with two backs. Go there. Trust me.


2. What are your non-genital erogenous zones and what do you like done to them?

My neck. My neck, my neck, my neck. All anyone has to do is kiss my neck and I'm gone. Well, not "gone," but more like "thrashing around like a mad dog."

Add the rubbing of a man's stubble (see Question #1) to that equation and all consciousness is sometimes lost.

3. What sounds get you sexually charged?

Another person being sexually charged. I'll admit it. I'm a talker. I'm a DIRTY talker. And I love to hear it. The dirtier, the better. If you think sex is something that should be done quietly and with reverence, walk on by because I like to talk!

Loud, dirty porn star talk. Minus the bad "thumpa-thumpa" music in the background.

4. After losing your virginity, what is the longest you’ve gone without penetrative sex?

What time is it?

5. What is your least favorite sexual position? Why don't you like it?

I don't really have one. I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth... or to begrudge the fact that I'm getting it, but not in my favorite position.

You wanna do me with one leg in the freeze, the other tied to a vent while I juggle bowling pins and whistle "Moonriver?" Let's go, Hoss!

Give it to me and I'm a happy guy.


Bonus (as in optional):If you could sexually dominate or submit to 5 people - any 5, currently living or deceased - which 5 would it be?

Humphrey Bogart - Just cause I think he'd be as great in a relationship as he looks like he'd be in bed.

Milton Berle - Just to see how big it really is.

Brad Pitt - Just to rub it in Angelina and Jennifer's face.

Robert Redford - Just so I could act out my Katie/Hubble fantasy montages from THE WAY WE WERE with him.

Shane Rollins - Just because that boy has everything I want and then some. Yum!

Now, THAT'S What I Call a Headmaster!

Many, many thanks to Tina of GGY-Meta for sending me "laugh your ass" off pic.


How on earth did we miss Dumbledore on that float at the Pride Parade last year?!?!?

And check out Albus' abs! And that package! Yum!

Sadly, however, Dumbledore is flagging right. Why are all the wizards with the biggest wands always bottoms?!?

This proves it - - Gellert Grindelwald is a top! A big ol' nasty, evil top. I'm calling dibs RIGHT NOW!!!

"To Feed Your Robin Fetish"

Thanks to roborange of the uber-fun and sexy blog Seduced by the New... for sending me a link to the pic below to, as he put it, "feed" my "Robin fetish."



This INCREDIBLE Robin illustration is by Nuno Plati and can be found on his blog, appropriately names Plati's Blog, under a post announcing that he is available for commissions.

Looks like I need to save up a little cash and commission him to create a Robin of my very own.

Yeah, yeah- - it'll be two-dimensional, but so was the 6 foot cardboard standee of Chris O'Donnell in his rubber Robin suit (complete with nipples on the breast plate and a codpiece) and lived in my apartment longer than any "real boy" ever did.

God, that's frightening to realize...

I need to be careful with this "Robin fetish," though. If I'm not, I might walk into Graham Cracker Comics and find Chris Hanson from TO CATCH A PREDATOR asking me why I'm buying so many copies of THE TEEN TITANS.

But it's hard to give up Robin cold turkey when Tina over at GGY-Meta occasionally posts a picture of The Boy Wonder like this one from the final frame of last month's TEEN TITANS...




Do you think there's a "12-Step Robin Recovery Program" for people who got hooked on Burt Ward at a very early age and now obsess over guys who wear a domino mask and a utility belt?

Failing that, where can I score some of those green, 60's Burt Ward Robin booties?

Outing a Wizard

I know I'm probably going to get castrated by some Harry Potter fans for this, but I have a sincere question.

What's the big friggin' deal about J.K. Rowling telling everyone that her character, Albus Dumbledore, master wizard and Headmaster of Hogwarts, is gay?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't she publish the last of the Harry Potter books a few months ago?

If Ms. Rowling truly wanted the Harry Potter books to be, as she says, a " prolonged argument for tolerance," why didn't she reveal that Dumbledore was gay IN ONE OF THE DAMN BOOKS?!?!?

And while we're at it, I don't really want to be "tolerated." I prefer to be "accepted."

I "tolerate" bad Jerry Herman music, guys on the bus who wear too much Drakkar Noir and the fact that my TiVo sometimes records the wrong friggin' channel, but I still don't "like" those things.

"Tolerance" isn't what I'm going for in terms of my own personal "gay agenda."

The way I see it, Rowling outing Dumbledore after all the books have been written is useless and sort of like George Michael getting caught having sex in a men's room after his career was in serious decline.

Wouldn't it have been powerful for George Michael to have come out as an openly gay man in the 80's when he was at the top of the pop charts? He would have been a gay role model to me when the closest thing I had to a gay role model at that time in my life was Jim J. Bullock on TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT - - and neither he, nor his character on that show, were officially gay!!!

But no, George Michael didn't admit that he was/is a homosexual until AFTER he was caught with his pants down - - literally. And what did we in the gay community do when he came out because of that scandal? We treated him like a friggin' hero, when the truth is, he never did anything for us except deny that he was one of us.

And while Dumbledore wasn't caught with Larry Craig in the Hogwart's bathroom or anything - - although I can't wait for the slash fiction on this one - - what good is Ms. Rowling's announcement?

According to the CNN report, Rowling...

"...explained that Dumbledore was smitten with rival Gellert Grindelwald, whom he defeated long ago in a battle between good and bad wizards. 'Falling in love can blind us to an extent,' Rowling said of Dumbledore's feelings, adding that Dumbledore was 'horribly, terribly let down.'"

"Horribly, terribly let down." Yeah, J.K., I know how he feels.

If this was your intention with the character, you could have included this in the Harry Potter stories and made a tremendous impact on the lives of gay and lesbian youth. You truly could have saved lives!!! But you didn't. And it's a let down.

I'm just getting tired of "too little, too late" when it comes to gay celebrities - - and I guess now I can include "gay fictional characters" - - being a vibrant and honest part of our community.

It's 2007, folks. Do you need Glinda the Good Witch to visit you in her bubble and say it?

"Come out, come out, where ever you are."

The 2007 Larry Sloan Awards

Season of Concern's First Annual Larry Sloan Award Ceremony this past Monday was an incredible success.

We had some of the best and the brightest people in the Chicago theatre community in attendance, as well as performing for us, at the Catalyst Ranch, which donated their space for free that evening.


Sure, you might say we stacked the deck a little in our favor to ensure the fact that we would have the "best and the brightest" in attendance by honoring Mr. Roche Shulfer, the Executive Director of The Goodman Theatre (in the above picture on the far left) with our first ever Larry Sloan Heritage Award, but seeing as how Mr. Schulfer was a part of the advisory committee responsible for the creation of Season of Concern, this award was well deserved!

And when you add to that the fact the The Goodman Theatre's production of A CHRISTMAS CAROL has raised over $306,000 for Season of Concern in the past 15 years, you understand just how vital Mr. Schulfer and The Goodman Theatre's generosity has been to our organization.

Also, Mr. Shulfer's wife, Mary Beth Fisher (center in the picture above) performed an incredible scene from Scott McPherson's play MARVIN'S ROOM at the event, in honor of the 15th anniversary of Mr. McPherson's death this coming November 7th.

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Ms. Fisher performed that scene from MARVIN'S ROOM with the actress in the picture above, Ms. Annabel Armour, one of my favorite actresses in the city. She is truly amazing.

That dapper gentleman pictured with her is one of Season of Concern's outstanding board members, Mr. Jim Rinnert.

****

Then, there are these guys.

Left to right, we have the sensational Mr. Steve Wallem (never - - and I mean NEVER - - follow Mr. Wallem in an audition... I've done it and it ain't pretty... no one will think you're in the room after this man sings...). Steve performed an incredible parody song from his upcoming cabaret show at Davenport's entitled, SCHWARTZ AND ALL. He is a genius; if you're in Chicago, GO SEE HIS SHOW!

Next to Steve is the incredible Mr. Chuck Larkin who accompanied Mr. Wallem and is currently playing for the sit-down production of JERSEY BOYS here in Chicago. I told you - - we had the best and the brightest!

Next to Chuck is the fabulous Mr. Michael Camp, who is now a stage manager for Chicago's production of WICKED and beside him is the always brilliant Mr. Doug Orlyk, who not only raises funds for Season of Concern at cabaret events and joined our team for the AIDS Walk, but also wrote a song entitled A SEASON OF CONCERN that was performed at this event by none other than one of Chicago's Second City Divas, Ms. Susan Moniz.

These Larry Sloan Awards had it goin' ON!

****

And speaking of Chicago's production of WICKED, on the left in the picture above is Mr. Don Richard, who accepted the first ever Larry Sloan Partnership Award that Season of Concern gave to the Chicago cast of WICKED. Don is responsible for Season of Concern receiving $37,000 from WICKED's Fund Drive audience collection last year and arranged for the cast to also join our AIDS Walk team. He is amazing.

And his husband Craig is not only uber-cute (as we can see in the picture above), he's also incredibly sweet and kind - - just like Don.

****

And here are the award winners! On the left is Season of Concern's Board President (and my very good friend) Mr. Michael Ryczek and beside him is Mr. Shulfer.

In the center is an amazing woman - - Ms. Margaret Newton, the Business Manager at the Marriott Lincolnshire Theatre who has arranged for the proceeds from every opening night party at her theatre to go directly to Season of Concern. Every time I send out an email or make a phone call asking for help with fundraising, she is always the first one to respond. I was so delighted to present Ms. Newton with the first ever Larry Sloan Advocate Award. No one is more deserving than she is!!

To Margaret's right is Don Richard and to Don's right, that's little ol' bald me.

Monday was an incredible night for Season of Concern. Thanks to everyone who made the event such a success!

Fratboy Friday

After Season of Concern's event on Monday, fundraising meetings on Tuesday and a Board Meeting on Wednesday, my body informed me on Wednesday night that it was taking some time off.

What it basically said was, "Fuck you. You've been going too hard and fast and we're going to give you just enough of a cold to slow you the Hell down!"

So, I've been a little out of commission, but I'm back for Fratboy Friday!

Here are this week's...

BOYS IN CAPS

You're never fully dressed without a... ball cap... on...

I love how he's checking himself out to make sure his cap is well positioned and isn't fucking up his hair. Straight men are the new prissy fags.

Him playing with his cap reminds me of my favorite Minne Pearle joke.

Minnie is walking by a Catholic church and sees a priest standing out in front. She walks up to him and says, "Hey, priest! Is Mass out?"

The priest says, "No, but your hat's on crooked."

If you don't get it, say it out loud. If you still don't get it, travel back to Tennessee with me sometime. All will be understood after you meet my family.

****

SAGGERS

Look at that blonde hair. There's no way that the carpet matches those curtains. But still, I'd LOVE to see that carpet.

****

MOONERS

I often do this - - lay on the ground outside with my boxers pulled down to expose my ass thinking to myself, "Did I leave the iron on?"

Speaking of mooning, check out this week's...

****

DAMN, I WAS SO DRUNK LAST NIGHT

You see? THIS is why these straight boys need to take the time to learn the tricks of the trade from their gay friends. A gay man could have told those two boys that you don't have to hang from the rafters if you own a rim seat.

P.S. Check out this excellent post from Nightcharm (the gay porn blog) about fratboys, bros and something that straight men call the "gay seat," which oddly enough is not any relation to a rim seat whatsoever.

Another Reminder

Once again, my new blogger friend Shirley Heezgay has introduced me to something that I had to add to ARE YOU THERE, BLOG?

It's a counter that estimates the number of Iraqi deaths that have occurred due to the U.S. invasion since the beginning of the War in Iraq in March 2003.



As you can see, the current estimated number is One Million Eighty-Seven Thousand Five Hundred and Thirty-Seven Iraqi deaths.

This information comes from Just Foreign Policy and they state on their site...

"The number is shocking and sobering.

"It is at least 10 times greater than most estimates cited in the US media, yet it is based on a scientific study of violent Iraqi deaths caused by the U.S.-led invasion of March 2003."

As I've said before, I place this information and the information tracking the number of U.S. troops who have lost their lives during the War in Iraq since March 2003 on my blog to remind myself and others that we are indeed at war.

Several people, several families. several parts of this country need no such reminder because they have lost loved ones dear to them - - men and women who gave their lives bravely and courageously for something they believed in with all their hearts: our country and our freedom.

But there are other people, other families, other parts of this country who are moving through our present time more concerned with who was booted off of DANCING WITH THE STARS than the fact that our brothers and sisters, our fathers and mothers, our sons and daughters are fighting in a war halfway around the world.

Yesterday in Chicago, for instance, the Chicago Sun-Times printed a full-page picture of Alderman Tom Tunney on the front cover, because apparently, the fact that Mr. Tunney was stopped by the police for talking on his cell phone and then made arrangements to have his driver's license returned to him is more important than a war being waged where lives are being lost.

There may not have been any huge or significant breaking news items with regards to the War in Iraq yesterday, but making Alderman Tunney the focus of their newspaper proved once again why the Sun-Times is second-rate newspaper in the Second (or is it third?) City.

Mama's 60th (And First) Birthday Party

As promised, here are a few pictures from my mother's 60th surprise birthday party on Sunday, October 7th.


There's Mama with my brother Jeff behind her on the left side of the picture.

Mama's sister Juanita is behind her and that is my cousin Rhonda on the far right. She's the one who was born on the same exact day that I was born. And that's Rhonda's little girl Andrea peaking over my mother's shoulder.


Mama looks so happy in these pictures.


When we were driving home at the end of the party, she told me something that shocked me.


We were chatting about the party and about how her sister Geneva's house was filled with family and friends and people who loved her. And then, very calmly she said...

"You know, that was the first birthday party I've ever had."

I couldn't believe it. Her parents never threw her a birthday party. My father never threw her a birthday party. And somehow, in my 37 years as her son, I had never thrown her a birthday party.

I was ashamed that I didn't know that. Ashamed that I had never taken the time to throw her a birthday party and show her how much I love her.

But Mama wasn't blaming me for never having thrown her a party or for not knowing she had never had a party. She was thrilled with the party and was lifted out of the depression that I could tell she had been sitting in for quite some time. As she said...

"You always know exactly what I need, when I need it."

This may have been my mother's first birthday party in her 60 years on this planet, but it will most definitely not be her last.

****

My favorite moment that day came when the party guests had left and it was just Mama, me and Geneva with her family.

Now, understand that my extended family does indeed know that I'm gay, but it is never discussed, never brought up in conversation. As Mama says about Southerners and their ability to deny nearly everything, "If we don't talk about it, it doesn't exist, now does it?"

That said, we were about to leave to share a meal at a local Chinese restaurant and Geneva had some fruit from a fruit tray she bought for the party that she wanted my mother to take home with her.

Geneva didn't want the fruit to go bad in the car while we were at the restaurant, so she thought it might be better to keep the fruit in her refrigerator while we were out. What she said was...

"You wanna just leave the fruit here?"

I looked at Mama and said, "What did she call me?"

Without missing a beat, Mama said, "She called you a fruit."

We smiled and laughed but NOBODY ELSE thought it was funny. They ignored what we had just said. And that made me and Mama laugh even harder.

My Favorite Caption Contest Week #14

It is WAY past the time for me to announce Week 13's Caption Contest Winner, so let's get right down to it!

There were TONS of BRILLIANT captions this week, but I have to go with a new winner for Week #13. UprightGuy from LIFE AND TIMES OF A GUY provided this winning caption...

"My Bologna has a first name, it's... Hey who took my gum?"

That, Sir, is friggin' HILARIOUS!!!! And I'm pretty sure that's EXACTLY what was going through that boy's mind when that picture was taken!

So, how do I top a pic of one half-naked hot guy? With a pic of THREE half-naked hot guys... in a tub... in an alcoholic state somewhere between "slightly buzzed" and "shitfaced."

Here's the picture for Week #14...


Yeah. I'm just like Julie Brown. "I Like 'Em Big and Stupid! I Like 'Em Big and REAL DUMB!"

Deadline for possible captions is this Friday, October 19th at 5:00 p.m. (CST).

Make me proud, y'all. Make me proud.

Boystown Arrives in Pigeon Forge

In an email with the subject line of "Hello from Death Vally," my friend Aaron...


...Master Aaron as he refers to himself here on ARE YOU THERE, BLOG?...

...wrote me to tell me that he has arrived in East Tennessee to begin his new contract performing at Dollywood for their Winter Festival.

Yep. You heard me. Dollywood. THAT Dollywood. Like there are others?

I love it when friends from here in Chicago visit East Tennessee, because afterwards, they have more of an appreciation of what makes me "me" and why I am the way I am.

Aaron put it best in the email when he wrote...

"HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET OUT OF HERE?!?!?!?
GOOD FOR YOU!!!!"

I can't wait to go home for Thanksgiving and Christmas and hang out with Master Aaron, his partner John and my extended family.

My kinfolk have never seen as much leather as they're about to see in all their born days!

TMI Tuesday

Today's TMI Tuesday is an "Dating Edition."

To quote my friend Michelle, "I don't like dating. I don't like things I'm not good at!"

On to the questions...

1. What was the first movie you saw on a date?

I have absolutely no idea. Can't remember.

Although, I will say that once I've started dating someone and I REALLY like them, I invite them over to watch CASABLANCA. If they don't like that movie or don't GET that movie, that pretty much ends the relationship.


2. Who was the first person you kissed on a date? [First name is fine.]

Again, I don't remember. I don't even remember the name of the first guy I kissed. But I remember his 5 o'clock shadow scraping my cheek and the taste of tobacco on his tongue. With a memory of a first kiss as strong and as sensual as that, what's in a name?


3. Where was the first place you ever "parked" (on a date)?

I was with my girlfriend Lauren - - yep, girlfriend... East Tennessee was not very "gay-friendly" to teens in the 80's - - and we parked in the driveway of this house that I thought was empty because it was in a new section in the subdivision where I lived.

I parked the car. We kissed. Things were getting pretty hot and heavy - - well, as "hot and heavy" as we could get with me being a "Future Homosexual of America" and all - - when suddenly the garage door in front of us started to open.

I started the car and was backing out of the driveway when a man - - the man who owned the house we were parked in front of - - ran out of the garage... with a gun... that he shot at us.

Now, since I'm not much of an aggressive person, I always thought of myself as more "Flight" than "Fight," but the second the gun shot rang over my car, I threw it in "Park," opened the door, got out and started walking towards this guy saying...

"What's your fucking problem, man?"

He - - the man holding the LOADED GUN!! - - asked me what I was doing parked in his driveway and I responded by saying, "What did it LOOK LIKE I was doing?!?"

He told me to leave and I said, "That's what I was DOING when you SHOT AT US!!!"

I got in the car and drove away.

How fuckin' Billy BadAss was I, huh?

4. Have you ever gone on a date with someone you met via the internet? If not, would you?

Gone on a date. Had sex without knowing their name. Had sex without seeing their face.

Please, the internet is the new bathhouse in the gay world.

There's no towel service on the internet, but still...


5. What is the most romantic thing you have done on a first date?

Went to dinner. Went to see Rudy de L'Amour (believe it or not) at the Gentry on Halsted and when my date went to the bathroom, Rudy put his hand over the mic and said, "I think he likes you."

Went back to his place. Kissed him good night and told him I didn't want to stay over because I didn't want to ruin it. And when he said to me...

"What's happening between us right now is beautiful.
Nothing could ruin that."

...I stayed. And started the best relationship of my life. I miss it and him to this very day.


Bonus (as in optional):Describe the best date you have ever been on.

See #5 above.

"Lip Gloss" & "I Like Mike"

Last night's First Annual Larry Sloan Awards Ceremony was a tremendous success. Pictures from last night and from my mother's birthday party will be posted soon - - I swear!!! - - but in the meantime, I had to share this.

My brother Jeff is also gay but our similarities end there. In most everything else, we are opposites. Inverse images. For all of my musical theatre and cabaret songs that listen to...

...and why, oh why, do music stores put "cabaret" music into "easy listening?" Have you ever listened to some of these battle-axe cabaret warblers? Trust me - - it ain't EASY listening!!!"...

...my brother has his hand on the pulse of popular music. And, as the kids say today, he "schools me."

He just called to tell me to go to iTunes and download this song - - LIP GLOSS by Lil Mama. I did and I LOVE IT!!!!

Check it out...



I think from now on when I enter a room, I'm going to assume that EVERYONE has been talking about me behind my back - - whether they are or not - - which is why I will burst into the room shouting, "What you KNOW 'bout ME?!?!? What you, what you KNOW 'bout ME?!?!"

VERY Jerry Springer.

And while we're on the subject of new music - - well, music new to ME anyway - - Alex posted this song on her blog last week and I cannot stop singing it. It's catchy and fun and sexy and oh, so gay! And I love it!

Jay Spears, if you ever read this and you're single, CALL ME!!! You're HOT!

I freely admit: "I like Mike. What's not to like?"

"You Are Loved. You Are Valued."

Because I've been so busy with tomorrow's First Annual Larry Sloan Awards, I have had a stack of mail sitting on my desk since the beginning of the month.

I just opened up a card from an anonymous sender that says...

"In honor of Artist's Month, something to honor you.
Now, it's your turn to honor an artist in your life."

Inside was a handkerchief-like piece of material. Look what it says...


Thank you to whoever sent this to me. Thank you so very much.

In the middle of all the fundraising, event planning and number-crunching financial reports, you reminded me that I am an artist.

And more importantly, that I am loved.

Joel McHale Breaks It Down

I love THE SOUP, E's weekly send-up of our culture's obsession with... well... all the stuff featured on Entertainment Television.

And I am IN love with THE SOUP's uber-cute host Joel McHale. What's not to love?

So, wheh Joel said the following on this past Friday's show regarding Hollywood's latest married couple, it was just icing on the wedding cake...

"Just to be clear, a silicone-filled former sex tape star can get married...

...to another former sex tape star...

...in between sets of her Las Vegas magic show...

...but gay people aren't allowed to be married."

Those images used here are the same ones used by THE SOUP for this segment. Their brilliance knows no bounds!