Sybil & Yiddish: What a Combo!

With Hannukah around the corner, my alter ego Sophe, the Jewish mother from UGLY BABY, is fighting her way to the top of my multiple personality disorder.

Its as if I'm some sort of Statue of Sybil Liberty with a tatoo on my ass that says...

Give me your tired, your poor,
Your fucked up inner-selves,
The ones you never show your boyfriends,
The ones that watch DANCING WITH THE STARS,
Let them live in me, and when they get there,
Have them tell Anne Heche to step off...
Margot Kidder is Madame Chief Crazy Bitch in there!

And just like all of the of self-hating, gay-bashing, closeted Republican fags being outed in the press (I always say, "Show me a gay basher and I'll show you a cocksucker"), the list of my multiple personalities gets larger by the day!

Here's the short list:

Gina
The Italian mother of Salvatore in UGLY BABY

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King Carlisle
Silent Film Star / Lover of Corsets
Flanked by Kate "The Virgin" Martin and
Honey "The Succubus" West
from VAMPIRE LESBIANS OF SODOM

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Carol Channing

Broadway Star / Drunken Halloween Costume
(Gown, Hair & Makeup Courtesy of Rus Rainear)

Gordo
Composer & Brain Tumor Patient
Kissing Alanda "Homeless Woman" Coon from A NEW BRAIN
(Is that a bandage or Olivia-Newton John's headband from the "Physical" video?)

Steve

16 Year-Old "Straight" Boy
Holding On To His "Girlfriend" For Dear Life
(L to R: Mark, my cousin Rhonda, my grandfather, Lauren and Me)
(Mark and Rhonda are now married with two kids)
(Lauren is now a lesbian)
(Neither Mark nor I have any hair left)

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Shere Khan

Gay-assed Tiger With a Thing for Orange Hats
Giving it to Star "Kaa" Velazquez"
While Ted "Baloo" White Trips Out
from THE JUNGLE BOOK

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Whizzer

Half-Jewish Lover of Gary "Marvin" McNulty
Adopted Dad of Jacob "Jason" Hoffman
from FALSETTOS
(See my hair going the way of the Dodo?)

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And last but not least...

Sophe
100% Jewish Mother of Daniel from UGLY BABY

So, to quell Sophe's attempts to take over my body and make me wear heels 24/7, I give you all a little lesson in Yiddish...with Dick and Jane!!!

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