A Much Deserved Honor

This almost sounds like a Shecky Greene joke, but its true.

Three schmucks have a dinner party...

(L to R: The Bitch, The Moron and The Woman Who Could French Kiss a Moose Through a Picket Fence)

And they invite a Incredible Singer and former Leader of Miracles...

Mr. Smokey Robinson

A film director who openly associates with psychopaths who don't believe in the existence of psychiatry, or postpartum depression, or Brooke Shields...

Mr. Steven Spielberg

A Conductor with an obvious bladder-control problem...

Mr. Zubin Mehta

And a Musician who sold his soul to the devil in exchange for hit shows on Broadway...

Mr. Andrew Lloyd Webber

(Ok...I know that "deal with the devil" is a bit much, but why else would the manure this man creates on a regular basis become long-running Broadway hits? You can put in a huge staircase, cats in leg warmers and tires that fly off into the heavens, but where I come from shit never turns into Shinola no matter how pretty the package.)

(Face it, Lloyd Webber musicals are like gay bathhouses - - everyone talks down about them and says they've never been to one, but they're still Standing Room Only every night!!!)

With guests like these and hosts who think lies are truths, call torture "interrogation," and can't seem to recognize a civil war unless one side wears gray and the other wears blue, this dinner party seemed doomed...

I can just hear Condi now..."Nevermind about the war - - we've already lost that - - our biggest problem right now is that this dinner party is a DISASTER!!! This never happens to Oprah!"

But lo and behold, the regect from Hooterville who bought himself the Presidency had managed to make ONE good decision in 6 years of office...

He also invited Dolly Parton...


And all became right with the world.

You see, Dolly, Smokey, Steven, Zubin (who the fuck is this guy?) and Andrew all attended a private state dinner yesterday evening hosted by Condi Rice, Dubya and Mrs. Dubya in which they all received their very own KENNEDY CENTER HONOR!!

Yes, the little girl from the Great Smokey Mountains is receiving the Kennedy Center Honor. After the dinner party, there was a gala ceremony and concert at the Kennedy Center's Opera House, which was videotaped and will be broadcast on December 26th on CBS. This is the perfect little day after Christmas present for me!!!

Congratulations, Dolly! I'm so happy for you! Are you excited about receiving the Kennedy Center Honor?...


Yeehaw! I knew you were excited. I just wanted to see you kick!!