A gay actor / director / fundraiser / cabaret singer / lesbian-esque guitar player from the hills of East Tennessee, living in Chicago and looking for... wait... what is it I'm looking for again?
Superheroes-R-Us just turned me on to these hilarious pictures by Donald Soffritti of elderly superheroes.Since most of these DC superheroes were introduced in the late 30's and early 40's,
I think these are absolutely appropriate.
That little dog Wondy's got on a leash looks terrified, doesn't it?
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'Atta girl, Kara Zor-El. Who says belly shirts are just for teens and tweens?
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This one of the Flash just says it all, doesn't it?
The historic Fullerton State Bank Building at 1425 W. Fullerton Avenue has been purchased by a group of investors and my good friend Walter Stearns will run the new venue as the head of a new not-for-profit organization known as the Lincoln Park Theater.
The theatre space itself will have a 200 seat main floor and a 100 seat balcony. Amazing!
If you want to say "I knew them when," be sure to check out Porchlight's current production of the musical Nine at Theatre Building Chicago. There are only three more performances left and missing this production is something you do NOT want to do. At all.
Congratulations Walter and Eugene. I'm so happy for you and proud of you!
By now, I imagine that nearly everyone in the country has seen or at least heard about Bill O'Reilly's little Inside Edition rampage where he doesn't know what the phrase "to play us out" means, so he ends up screaming, "Fuck it! We'll do it LIVE!" and rips off his microphone.
We all knew O'Reilly was and is a prick, but somehow screaming and cursing at the people working for and with him in his studio takes his prick-ness to a whole new level.
And the beauty of the digital age is that someone can take O'Reilly's rant and turn it into art in just a couple of days! Ain't that grand?
1. Is there a TV show you HAVE to watch? If so, what is it?
Yes, Desperate Housewives. And don't tell me what happened in last Sunday's episode, I haven't watched it yet!
I aspire to be Bree Van de Kamp Hodge, but I know in my heart I'm a Lynette Scavo, through and through.
2. What is you favorite drink if you are going to drink more than one?
Non-alcoholic? Diet Coke
Alcoholic? Vodka and Cranberry Juice
3. How long do you carry guilt around with you?
How long have I been alive?
4. Where is or would be your number one romantic get away spot?
Well, I don't know if it's a getaway spot, but my favorite romantic restaurant in Chicago is Geja's.
It's a wonderful, intimate fondue restaurant. It's dark and cozy, the food is delicious and you get to enjoy a leisurely meal by candlelight.
And let's face it, we all look a little more like Lana Turner - - and therefore a little humpier - - by candlelight.
5. Have you ever seen a counselor?
Definitely. I saw the best therapist in the city for six years. I probably would still be in my last horrible relationship if it weren't for those sessions. Or I would probably be in another horrible relationship if it weren't for those sessions. He helped me a great deal.
And the best thing about my therapist was that after we terminated therapy - - a verb I still don't like when it comes to therapy - - he sent me a book to congratulate me on my progress.
I could give five reasons - - Hell, I could give 237 reasons if need be - - but isn't the point that you want to? Isn't the point that it's passion? And isn't the ultimate point that you look at someone you feel so intimately about and you want to be as close to that person as possible?
I offer once again Stephanie Hodge's brilliant exploration of what makes a successful relationship. Her answer...
"What matters in finding the right person is to find the person who's gonna Jungle Fuck you until the day you die."
"Chairman Schulter (47th Ward) has decided not to report the event promoter ordinance out his City Council Licensing and Consumer Protection Committee. In other words, it will not be on the City Council agenda tomorrow and there will not be a vote on the bill as previously scheduled.
"Chicago Music Commission is not sure when it will come out of Committee for a vote by the entire City Council, but we hope that Chairman Schulter will wait until he and the City have engaged the music community publicly and meaningfully so their concerns can be heard and hopefully incorporated into the eventual law.
"We are pleased that Chairman Schulter has responded to the music community’s concerns, and we look forward to working with him, members of the Committee, DBA staff and other music community stakeholders to come up with a workable version of the ordinance. CMC is committed to working with the music community to responsibly engage the City in this important effort."
Tabled, but not gone. Thanks to all those who helped.
After tomorrow, a huge part of Chicago culture could cease to exist.
If you live in Chicago or know anyone who lives here and you're even remotely connected with the Chicago arts scene, then I hope and pray that you've been made aware of this.
But just in case...
This is by Theresa Carter at The Local Tourist, who, in my opinion, best sums up this issue...
"On May 14 the City Council will vote on an ordinance requiring any event promoter to have a license and liability insurance. That doesn’t sound so bad, except the language is so broad individual bands and theater groups could be included. Most are operating on such tight margins this would effectively put them out of 'business.' Problem is, musicians and actors and other artists are in the business of creating art. The venues are in the business of providing a safe environment and already have licenses and insurance. This is duplicate regulation versus enforcing laws that are already on the books.
"Performers are exempt from this ordinance, with one glaring exception: if the performer 'exercises no other financial or non-performance-related operational responsibility in connection therewith.' Bands are often required to sell their own tickets. So are actors. They do their own advertising and promotion."
Sidenote: I do my own advertising and promotion when I do cabaret shows at Davenport's. Which would mean that I would have to get a license and insurance.
Cabaret shows are best described by a local musical director as "Your expensive hobby." Cabaret singers already rarely break even and more often than not, we end up spending our own money, sometimes hundreds of dollars, to cover the costs of our show expenses that can't be covered by ticket sales in a room that only holds 80 people (if we're lucky enough to even GET 80 people, that is).
"There have been some comments that event promoters should be licensed just like any other business. Yes, some actors and some musicians go on to make ridiculous sums of money, but the overwhelming majority struggle day to day, put in hours of practice after working full-time jobs, and receive little to nothing financially in return. Their 'job' is to entertain. It is the venue’s job to provide a safe environment, and there are already laws in place to ensure that safety.
"The arts have a long history of patronage. Today’s artists don’t have wealthy benefactors to support them while they create something beautiful, moving, thought provoking, amusing, or entertaining. Instead they have us - the patron that will gladly pay our $5 or $12 or $15 to experience their creativity."
Here's the important part... The part where you respond and help keep this from happening right now...
"Please, if you feel half as strongly as I do about protecting our vital and vibrant arts and music scene, visit SaveChicagoCulture.org and leave a comment. Chicago Acoustic Underground and The Local Tourist will be presenting comments from this site to every single Alderman and to the Chicago City Council. On the site you can also find your specific representative to contact individually."
Please go to SaveChicagoCulture.org and leave a comment. Or if you live in Chicago, call your Alderman today and let him know that you are against this ordinance.
Two thousand dollars every two years may not sound like a lot of money to the woman pushing the double stroller and sipping her venti mocha latte as she brushes past me through the Gold Coast, but if I have to pay $2,000 for a license, then another $700 for insurance, then get a background check, get fingerprinted and inform the police about my show at least 7 days in advance IN ORDER TO DO A ONE HOUR FRIGGIN' CABARET SHOW, you can bet your sweet ass that I will be closing up shop in the Windy City and heading somewhere more arts-friendly. P.S. Venues with more than 500 seats would be exempt from this ordinance, which means once again that the little guy is getting fucked while the big guy is getting rich.
I'm not quite sure, but I do know that any man who can take the latter picture and add a caption that contains references to both The Wizard of Oz and the Atkins Diet is my kind of man!
The Caption Contest Winner for Contest #21 is from Anatomicsd..
"Bad Toto, Bad Toto! I told you no Carbs this month!"
Love it, Anatomicsd. Love it!
The picture for Contest #23 is one of my favorites. I believe that I have posted it somewhere in this blog before, because a snapshot like this needs to be seen as frequently as possible.
Disturbing, intriguing and yet highly erotic, isn't it? Then again, a tight body and a wrestling singlet makes almost anything highly erotic. No, it makes EVERYTHING highly erotic.
Give this little slice of crazy a caption. Deadline for possible captions is this Friday, May 16th at noon (CST).
P.S. Anatomicsd - If you have a blog, send me the link so I add it here and check it out. Or you out. Or whatever. I'm easy...
I was a last minute replacement judge for the Windy City Gay Idol competition at Hydrate this past Thursday night and even though there were only 7 contestants and I was in the door at 10:00 p.m. and climbing into bed at just after midnight, I learned several things...
1) In talking with Creagh - - the owner of Creaoke, the karaoke company for all of the Gay Idol events - - I learned that he has not one karaoke setup, not two karaoke setups, but EIGHT karaoke setups.
After years in the business, Creagh now has a number of employees who run the karaoke at several different bars around the city for him so that he only works three nights a week. That's it. Three nights.
For the record, Creagh has his own company, his own employees and works three nights a week at really fun Chicago bars, and in contrast, five times a week at 9:00 a.m., I paint myself blue and drag a carpet on wheels around a stage while trying to convince 400 children that it's "flying." It sucks to be me.
2) A very drunk and yet still rather cute boy took a shine to me from the second the event started and in his attempt to score a date with me, I learned that I'm not turned on when 23 year old men ask my age within the first two minutes of talking to me and respond to my answer of "I'm 38" by saying...
"Oh... Well, hey that's cool. I'm into older guys."
Sure, he probably IS into older guys - - and let's face facts: "older" is the PC version of "old" - - but I find being wanted because I'm "the older guy" similar to someone saying...
"Oh... Well, hey that's cool. I'm into halitosis."
It's also similar to getting naked in front of someone for the first time and having them say...
"Oh... Well, hey that's cool. I'm into miniature penises."
My age is obviously my issue and not his, but still, he lost me at "older."
3) I learned that I am dangerously close to becoming the Paula Abdul of the Windy City Gay Idol, not because I'm loony tunes and know all the lyrics to "Straight Up," but because I was flirting my balls off with two of the contestants on Thursday night.
After one of the other judges told a contestant that his performance "made him come," one of the contestants that I was flirting with came up to me as he was leaving the bar and said...
"When I was singing, I was trying to make you come."
I thought about asking him if he wanted to try again, but I just grinned as he walked away.
4) Last and certainly not least, I learned about Richard Cheese.
I'm not quite sure how Creagh and I got on the subject, but he suggested that I give Mr. Cheese a listen and I'm so glad I did!
Richard Cheese specializes in lounge singer covers of pop songs.
Once I watched this clip with his version of "Baby Got Back" and "Personal Jesus," I was hooked. This makes me SO happy!
Rumor has it this image was "spilled" from The Dark Knight, but I sort of believe that Iron Man's tremendous box office and amazing reviews had the boys behind the bat a little nervous, so they released this pic to get the fanboys going.
Here's a "I Had to Wear My Coat AGAIN Today Because It's Barely Above 50 degrees and It's Friggin' Mid-May" version of Fratboy Friday...
BOYS IN CAPS
I have nothing to say. Other than, "Is he gay? And if not, is he willing to learn?"
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SAGGERS
Hulk Smash!
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MOONERS
A truly beautiful sight. Especially if you notice that the man in the middle is wearing some sort of skimpy, red underwear AND he's flagging left with a red hanky.
If you don't know what that means, check out The Hanky Code. And if you see him on the street, tell him I flag right with a red hanky. Just sayin'...
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DAMN, I WAS SO DRUNK LAST NIGHT
Look at the eyes of the guy on the right. It wouldn't take too much of a prison term to turn him gay at this point in his alcoholic stupor. A parking ticket would probably do it.
That is the first night of the Chicago Outdoor Film Festival for 2008 and on that night, the jumbo silver screen in Grant Park will be filled with Bette Davis in glorious black and white.
And while I wish that Ms. Davis would be up there saying...
In the South, we are taught at a very young age that language is our friend.
It's not what you say, it's how you say it. Especially insults. Shade is everything.
When talking to your wicked stepmother, you could easily say, "You look fat!" But that will just start a fight and 9 times out of 10, she'll pile drive you to the floor and plop her gigantic ass onto your chest and your face. And if there's a pizza in the room, she'll forget you're down there. What a way to go, huh?
It's much better to say to her...
"You know, that dress looks so good on someone your size."
You see? In that one sentence, you have bitchiness wrapped in truth and covered in 3/4's of a compliment. That's what I call "polite conversation."
This is the first sentence of Fox News' report on the Barbara / Star brawl...
"Former 'View' co-host Star Jones has weighed in on Barbara Walters' claim that she 'lied' for Jones about her much publicized weight loss."
It may not be overtly funny to you, but I laughed out loud when I read that.
What's better than Barbara talking about Star's weight loss and saying "Well, we knew it wasn't portion control and Pilates"? What's better than Star saying that Barbara is "in the sunset of her life..."?
A writer at Fox News innocently beginning the story by saying "Star Jones has weighed in..."
4. Does Bliss sound like a fun game to you? Have you ever played it?
Bliss is a game? I thought it was the state of mind one achieves after a night of debauchery with French rugby players.
No, I've never played it.
Rub it in, why don't you.
No, seriously. Rub it in!!
5. Is there anything or anyone you would be willing to die for?
My family. My good friends. Love.
I may seem like a jaded cynic, but I'm a sentimental romantic at heart.
Bonus (as in optional): If you were (or had) a magic genie and could only grant wishes for others and you only had three left, what would they be and who would they be for?
You think the TMI folks have been reading my blog and know that I AM a Genie? Is this their way of asking for at least one of my final three wishes?
As much as I would love to help the TMI folks out, here's what I would do with my last three wishes... 1) A beautiful home for my mother filled with all of her friends and relatives so that she would never been alone again.
2) A boyfriend for my brother, because he's one of the most caring and giving people I know and deserves all of the happiness in the world.
3) Healthy and happy life for my father, my mother and my brother that extends at least as long as I live. This one is selfish, because I don't want to even consider what my life would be like without them.
My friend Philip is just about the funniest person I know. There were TONS of brilliant captions for Contest #20's pic, but I had to go with one of Philip's more brilliant lines...
"At least the kid's dressed as Eeyore. Last week, Donald stepped in Pooh."
That, Philip, is a classic.
But for this next Caption Contest, I thought I would veer away from the Disney and go back to an genre of photography I know and love - - "Naked guys consuming a lot of alcohol."
I love this genre of photography. Especially when someone's about to get spanked. It's the romantic in me.
Caption anyone? Deadline for possible captions is this Friday, May 9th at noon (CST).
Chris Jones, the chief theatre critic for the Chicago Tribune, is a very nice man.
His review of Aladdin is very generous. The few negative comments he makes about our production - - and trust me, he could have written SO much more than he did - - are 100% accurate.
And in his review, he is very kind to me, stating...
"Rader, who invariably takes it upon himself to create an entire subtext for the pleasure of the adults in the theater, was in top form Saturday"
Sure, he follows that wonderful compliment with the phrase, "when you could hear him" but that's a body mic problem, not a "Stephen" problem, right?
I mean, I'm not Merman here.
Sure I THINK I'm Merman and I occasionally break into a full voice rendition of "Rose's Turn" when I'm walking down the street, but I still need a microphone, for God's sake!
I usually don't like these "I'm a Marvel and I'm a DC" videos.
I find them as annoying and pretentious as those "I'm a Mac and I'm a PC" commercials.
You know the ones where Mac users feel better about their "less than a centimeter wide, light as a feather" laptops that come with only ONE USB port by making fun of PCs.
Take your "Function Follows Form" branding and get the Hell out of my face.
But this "I'm a Marvel and I'm a DC" video featuring Iron Man and Batman is pretty damn funny.
Mainly, because everything they say is so friggin' true.
P.S. I still haven't seen the Iron Man movie. Can you believe it?
John was just drunk enough to blurt out some DELICIOUS Chicago theatre gossip that I would LOVE to discuss here - - I would truly be the first to report this little tidbit - - but I will be a good boy. I can keep a secret.
I mean, I never told everyone that I slept with Christian Bale when he was in town filming THE DARK KNIGHT did I?
Oops, I just did. Oh well, since the cat's out of the bag - - or should I say the bat's out of the closet? - - I'll just close by showing you the latest and just released trailer for THE DARK KNIGHT.
This one has new Joker scenes, more Harvey Dent and more Bale. And how I do love me some Bale. Enjoy...
Well, things things got better for Aladdin. Slightly.
Performing the show is still like fighting an uphill battle while painted blue and wearing MC Hammer pants, though. Murphy's Law reigns supreme at the Apollo Theater these days.
Since Thursday's first preview, I overslept and was late for my call for the Friday preview, I walked to that preview in the rain, made it through the preview relatively unscathed and added a few lines to the play to help the audience realize that the cast is fully aware that the "Flying Carpet" is neither flying nor a full carpet. When/if you see it, you'll know what I mean.
The additions helped a little and after a few more hours of rehearsal early this morning, we opened the production with reviewers in the house. It ain't all pretty, but it's open. Thank the Lord.
With the week we've had, we celebrated our first official performance with alcohol of all sorts. Anything we could get our hands on, basically. The performance started at 1:00 p.m. and since 2:15 p.m. I've had wine, vodka, more wine, more vodka, beer, more wine, several slices of pizza, popcorn from the 7-Eleven and... oh, yeah, more wine. It's been a full day.
So to celebrate our giving birth to this blue problem child, I wanted to share three videos of my favorite Broadway "deconstructor," Seth Rudetsky.
Even if you're not a fan of musical theatre, give these clips a try. Mr. Rudetsky's deconstruction of performers and performances is both wickedly hysterical and wonderfully insightful. First, Seth deconstructs Barbra Streisand...
I know there's really only one sagger in the group, but just look at her...
Isn't she just precious?
She spent hours making sure that cap was positioned juussstt right. It's probably bobby-pinned in place. I wouldn't put it past her.
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MOONERS
The locker room at my high school was never like this. The locker room at the World Gym on Montrose was like this nearly every weekday morning. And most weekends. Thank the sweet Lord.
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DAMN, I WAS SO DRUNK LAST NIGHT
The right amount of boys who have the right amount of booze and they're wearing the right amount of clothes. It's the Gay Perfect Storm.
P.S. I'm not sure what's going on, but that couch is on some sort of platform. I'm intrigued. And slightly jealous.
For those of you who asked how today's first preview of Aladdin went, let me just say this...
There's a school of thought shared by certain theatre people - - myself included - - that bad previews result in truly incredible opening night performances.
It's superstition, plain and simple, but there's something to the fact that, when many things go badly in previews, the cast is hyper-aware and focused on opening night.
By this logic - - bad preview = great opening night - - the opening performance of this show will change theatre as we know it.
Actually, it probably WILL change theatre as we know it. Not necessarily in a good way. But theatre will be changed, nevertheless.
I mean, Carrie can't stay the worst production of a musical for an eternity, now can it?
Since most of these DC superheroes were introduced in the late 30's and early 40's,
Since most of these DC superheroes were introduced in the late 30's and early 40's,
'Atta girl, Kara Zor-El. Who says belly shirts are just for teens and tweens?
This one of the Flash just says it all, doesn't it?
