"Because I Just Went GAY All of a Sudden!"

Sure, Robin coming out of the closet would be about as shocking as... Oh, I don't know... Ricky Martin coming out of the closet, but...

Really, Bats? You're not even a little bit surprised?!?

You took in a young orphan named Dick, made him your ward, and forced him to prowl city alleys late at night dressed in green elf booties, a red lace-up tunic, and a yellow half-cape. With NO PANTS!!!

And before he could even put on his "costume," you instructed him to open the secret passageway and "slide down the pole."

You don't think that might possibly have had SOME effect on his sexual identity?!?

I wouldn't be so snarky when I spoke to the press about someone coming out of the closet if I were you, Bruce.

You're a very wealthy man who has never been married, yet you and your "faithful butler" have "taken in" not one, not two, but THREE young boys.

Add that to your "Rainbow Batman" costume, and you saying that you're not "even a little surprised" that Robin is gay sounds like the pot calling the kettle Crazy Quilt.