Fratboy Friday

This morning on the bus ride into the Loop, I sat next to a man who HAS to be a porn star.

And if, for some odd reason, he isn't a porn star...

...I mean, it could be that he ALWAYS dresses the way he was dressed this morning - - like he had just stepped out of a Tom of Finland drawing...

...and it could be that he takes steroids not to get the "bitch tits" that he has, but because he really, really loves "testicular atrophy"...

...then he SHOULD be a porn star.

And he is a porn star. In my mind's eye, Horatio.

So, in dedication to him, his massive thighs and his ass that I wanted to eat breakfast off of, here's an IML-themed Fratboy Friday...

BOYS IN CAPS

This weekend, the IML host hotel (the Chicago Hilton) will the set a new Guiness Book World Record for "Most Jockstraps Found Under One Roof."

(Fun Fact: The previous record holder - - me)

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SAGGERS

All those jockstraps at IML, and yet, ask those boys "Boxers or briefs?"
and each one of them will say "Commando!," I guarantee it.

It's only a 3 day weekend; easy access is key!





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MOONERS

But fair warning, if your ass is hanging out, it will be spanked.

Or whipped... Or paddled... Or flogged...

Repeatedly, if you walk down the right hall in the hotel...





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DAMN, I WAS DRUNK LAST NIGHT

And speaking of what will be happening in the halls of the Chicago Hilton this weekend,
there will be a lot of this. Only the bottle will be replaced by "The Real Thing," leaving the bottle available for... other things. (Yes, that...)

As one of my friends used to say about the 3 days of IML here in Chicago, "Girl, those are High Holy Days!!!" (Insert "high" and "holey" joke here... hehe... "insert"... I can't stop myself...)

Happy Memorial Day Weekend, everyone!