This week, we celebrate the return of a true comedy writing champion to the Caption Contest.That's right, Philip is the winner of the #29 Caption Contest. And even though he hasn't won the Contest in a few weeks and even though he has once again surpassed himself with several brilliantly funny caption submissions, I hesitate to describe Philip's win this week as a "Comeback."
Why? Well, because we're theatre people. If I say this win is Philip's "Comeback," he might go all Norma Desmond on me, buy a casket for a dead monkey, put on a turban (which, he would look friggin' FABULOUS in because he's the Carrie friggin' Bradshaw of Boystown Chicago) and then appear out of nowhere on the street tomorrow morning shouting...
"I hate that word! It's a return!
A return to the millions of people
who have never forgiven me
for deserting the screen."
A return to the millions of people
who have never forgiven me
for deserting the screen."
So that said, I give you Philip's RETURN as winner of the Caption Contest...
"Snacks for a pool party: $40"Inflatable dolphin: $30
"Giving the retarded kid something to do while
the rest of us enjoy ourselves: Priceless."
It was between that submission of Philip's and "Butterflies are free but dolphins charge by the hour!" Both are brilliant, but I went with the "Priceless" joke. Because it's slightly offensive.
You know, joke 'em if they can't take a fuck.
And speaking of "taking a fuck," after seeing the picture below, don't you wish that you were a tattoo artist? Specializing on ass tats...
It's not a dude riding a plastic dolphin, but I think there are SEVERAL options with this picture. So give this boy a caption.Or just sit and stare at his hot, Hot, HOT ass. Like I am... right now...
13 comments:
But see, if I was a tattoo artist specializing in ass tats, I would get the lumpy, cottage-cheese asses the size of Montana, not hotties like that!
Thankfully, I washed this morning.
"I figured if it came with instructions it might get used more."
"By clenching his cheeks, Skippy hoped to hold that fart in as long as possible."
Strangely, the tattoo artist felt his erection wane when he realized he was emblazoning "Stevie and Bertha Sue Forever" above a photo-realistic image of a pig.
"Enter before knocking."
David Cross makes sure his autograph will never be washed away
Are you sure he isn't just lancing something?
"I was gonna get 'Exit Only', but no one would believe that. 'All You Can Eat' makes much more sense."
HUGS...
Stephen... Was... Here....
Too easy? Ok...
"if you can read this, you haven't cum yet."
"'You must be this big to ride this ride' seemed like such a good idea at the time."
With his prison conviction virtually assured, Kevin hoped that his young ass would be protected by a well-placed "Do Not Enter" sign.
"Can someone make sure he put an 'R' in 'Gary'!?"
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