Hymen Eliminator

The email below is just one of the HUNDREDS of pieces of spam I receive every day through my Season of Concern email address...


I know that my history with vaginas abruptly ended right after my mother gave birth to me.

The doctor spanked me on the ass and I vaguely remember saying, "Thank you, Daddy. May I have another?"

But ladies, am I wrong in assuming that when your hymen was "eliminated," the experience was not one you later described as "satisfying?"